


Jedi Academy 101

by ZigguratRolsovitch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ben Solo Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Alternate Universe - Jedi Academy (Star Wars), BD-1 Is The Best (Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order), Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Bullying, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Growing Up Together, In this house we love and respect Rose Tico, Jedi Academy AU, Jedi Ben Solo, Loth-Cats (Star Wars), Master & Padawan Relationship(s), New Jedi Order, Nightmares, Orbaks, Padawan Ben Solo, Padawan Braids, Padawan Rey, Protective Ben Solo, Soft Ben Solo, Soulmates, Tai is a bro, There will be a crush or two but neither Rey nor Ben will sleep with anyone else, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey, and there was jealousy, jedi academy, major character death but it's not Ben or Rey, the knights of ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:40:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 91,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZigguratRolsovitch/pseuds/ZigguratRolsovitch
Summary: He stepped under the awning-roofed blockhouse that some fat blob fish Crolute used as his Concession Stand. He stayed away from the Crolute. He got a bad feeling off of him. His soul was stained black with greed and selfishness. Eating slowly away at him like a cancer.The twinge in his heart caught him off guard when he passed one particular table and it made him stop for just a moment. He noted a tiny girl, but shook his head sadly that someone so small was resigned to this fate. Turning he took another few steps away from the table... except when he got further so did the feeling.Again he stopped. Turned back towards the girl again. She was small, fragile and polishing off a Recharge coupling. It hit him with the force of a star fighter. Without a doubt this tiny thing was what he had felt calling out in such great force."It is you..."---"This is the Jedi Academy Au you're looking for."
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 80
Kudos: 222





	1. Chapter 1

The darkness of night was illuminated by a little lamp, spinning and projecting shapes of ships, planets and stars onto the ceiling and walls in a mesmerizing way that would usually lull one to sleep. It tended to work for the young boy that watched from under the sanctuary of the covers as the ships made their way around the room. A distraction from the darkness he feared... or rather the things in that darkness. The whispers that crawled inside of his mind with a dull, stomach-twisting ache in the dead of night... telling him terrible things... scary things.   
  
Even now there was something dark lurking there and within the walls that seemed to be filled with dread. The boy couldn’t quite place it, but… he knew without a doubt there was definitely something very wrong about the darkness. Lightning flashed across the sky and thunder rumbled once again, sending the power out of commission and the only light now was that of the fireplace burning brightly across the small room and casting shadows with the furniture, creating ominous shapes along the walls and floor, and dancing along with the moving fire as if they were live creatures reaching out to grab him in their shadowy embrace.

He told himself that it wouldn't happen, but it did. Those long talons slowly stretched across the floor towards him and he felt their icy cold upon his skin, sinking painfully into him like a large predator's claws. He had been too scared to scream before, but the pain was finally drew the cry from his throat. What little bravery that he had been trying to hold onto drained from him like the color from his face.

"Mommy!" Those cold, icy talons sank deeply into his skull and he brought his hands up and held his head, struggling against the sheer agonizing sting as something forced it's way in, pried apart his mind.

His control over the force snapped like a tense cord under too much strain and pressure and something in the room shattered apart. Broken glass. A cold breeze and rain began to pour in.

The door to the his bedroom mercifully opened and footsteps rushed in... while that pain receded back out of his mind, hissing and reeling away from the light that had come in from the hallway. Hands were on him again, but warm this time. Soft, gentle.

"Ben... are you alright?" His mother's voice cut through his sobs and he reached out, clung to her tightly. Everything was alright as long as mother was here... as long as she was holding him it was safe. Like the warm glow of a candle that kept away the shadows. "Oh, sweetheart it was just a nightmare. You're fine. Everything is fine."

"It wasn't a dream. The monster is real. It was here... it grabbed me." Ben insisted, but there was that familiar look of disbelief from his mother. She didn't believe him. They never did.

"What the hell, Ben?" His father slowly approached the window, placed his hands on his hips and shook his head. "Do you realize how much this is going to cost to repair?"

"Han." His mother scolded and there was a sigh from his father. "It's just a window. I'm just glad he wasn't hurt."

"Leia, it's getting out of hand. You know it and I know it... something needs to be done before he either hurts us or himself." Han pulled the curtains closed heavily and used the cord to tie them together to keep out the cold and the rain.

"Not now." Leia spoke firmly. In a tone that said that was that and Han had better not argue with her. Han Solo may not be the smartest man in the galaxy, but he knew when to shut his mouth. "Come, Ben... let's sleep in mommy and daddy's room..."

As his mother carefully led him off the bed a little droid rolled in to take care of the broken glass while his father looked over the damage.

Mother's bed was safe. It was the one place that the nightmares seemed to not reach him... the only place that he was really protected and so crawling into it's shelter seemed like coming home. The moment that he was in it his eyes felt heavy with sleep... with exhaustion. He spent night upon night not sleeping due to nightmares and scary monsters that lurked in the darkness.

"Sleep, Ben." His mother's soothing voice spoke as she gently stroked her fingers through his hair and he felt himself slipping into that peaceful place. Sleep. The rare kind not infected with the inky black, because mother was there. He was safe.

* * *

A shout woke him from his sleep and Ben realized with utter terror that he was alone in his mother's room. That she was not in bed with him and he threw the covers off of himself and padded his way to the door, however... something stopped him when he heard the muffled voices of his parents.

"Leia, we don't have a choice. Do you think I wanted this? I never asked for a kid that had the force... if he was just normal like everybody else."

"Normal?" Leia scoffed, offended by the comment. 

"You know what I mean!" Han responded quickly. "Things would just be easier if he wasn't breaking everything with his powers... how long before he hurts one of us? Before he kills one of us."

"Oh, but, Han... he's going to be so crushed. How can I do that to him? How can I send him away? He's going to think..."

"You've seen the darkness. You said it yourself." Han responded. "I see it."

"A sliver of it, but-"

"I bet that's what the Jedi thought about Vader too."

"Han!"

"He looks so much like him... it's all I ever see when I look at his face..." Han continued on. "I remember being strapped to that chair and-"

Ben didn't have control over his powers and because of that he was sensitive to the waves of rolling emotion coming off his parents. From his father pain and fear and from his mother grief, sadness. It was overwhelming.

"Ben is not my father! And in case you've forgotten he tortured me too." Leia shouted. "But I don't look at him and see my father. Han... he's your son... how could you?"

"I can't do this anymore." Han stated finally and his heavy footsteps departed before a door slammed loudly and silence filled the apartment.

Ben didn't move for several long moments, but it felt like his heart had been shattered into a thousand little pieces. His father left because of him. Because he was too hard to deal with... because he was bad and he broke things. Worse he feared that maybe his mother was going to leave and he had to build up the courage to push the door open and pad his way down the hall to the living area. There on the couch he saw his mother, holding a hand over her eyes and sniffling softly.  
  
"Mommy?" He questioned and his mother suddenly wiped at her eyes and tried to compose herself the best she could, but he knew that she was crying.   
  
"Ben... have you had another nightmare?" She saw the fear in his face and it broke her heart. She turned, held her arms out for him and without hesitation he ran into them. "It's alright. Mommy and Daddy just had a silly argument. It's nothing you need to worry yourself over."  
  
"Has he left again?"

"...yes. He's left again."  
  
It was perhaps this moment when the hate start to fester in his heart for the man he called his father. All he ever did was make his mother cry and then leave them both to fend for themselves. His poor mother was forced to carry such a burden. He was young, but not stupid and he knew how hard she worked for them... and he hated his father for putting them in this situation.  
  
"Ben... tomorrow... we're going to go see Uncle Luke."  
  
"But... I don't want to go..." Ben clung to his mother desperately. "Please don't make me. I'll be good. I promise!"

He panicked. The voices that whispered to him at night and tormented him were right. His father hated him. His father didn't want anything to do with him... he was too difficult of a child for any person in this entire galaxy to tolerate.... and his mother was so fed up with him she was going to send him away. 

All this time he told the voices they were liars, but they were right.  
  
"Ben... it isn't about being good or bad." Leia gently stroked his hair back in an attempt to sooth him.

"Then why are you sending me away...?" He began to cry, shed tears and then hurriedly rub at his eyes desperately to tried to stop the tears because he was afraid that if he cried too hard his mother would leave him for sure.  
  
"I'm not. Ben you have very special blood in your veins. I'm bringing you there to train because you're going to become a Jedi like Uncle Luke. Isn't that exciting?"  
  
"But, mommy I want to stay with you, please! I'll do anything!" 

"Oh, Ben..." Leia sighed and hugged him tighter. "This is for the best. It will be good for you... uncle Luke will teach you how to be a Jedi. You're going to do great things. There are wonderful adventures ahead of you."

Knowing that his pleading was useless, Ben simply sniffled and nodded, because what else at this point could he do? The voices were right. His parents didn't want him or love him anymore because he was bad.

Leia slowly stood from the couch, took his hand and then led him to the landing pad, up into the speeder that would take them off to the dock to transfer into his mother's personal transport.

It was a long boring trip and he had to watch as they left his home planet... as they left everything that he knew behind. He hoped that the shadows stayed behind too.

* * *

The ship broke from hyper space and came into view of the planet, slowly approaching the planet and the temple. The landing was a little rough, shuddering, but the ship thumped down and Leia un-clipped her harness and then his and led Ben over to the ramp.

Heavy doors slowly hissed, a vapor rose from them as the ramp slowly began to lower and between the top of the door and the ramp Luke Skywalker's face came into view and he lifted a hand.  
  
"Leia... Ben... it's so good to see you again. You've grown so much. Are you excited to train with me?" It was a kind greeting and Luke seemed genuinely thrilled to see them both, but Ben didn't answer and instead rubbed at his eyes again, trying to fight off the anxiety of what was about to come.

Parting with his mother almost felt like dying. Why didn't she want him anymore? He didn't understand. He had tried so hard to be good.  
  
"Luke..." Leia greeted with affection.

"I hope the trip was easy on you." Luke's kind smile held equal affection as he looked between his sister and his young nephew.

Leia looked about ready to speak, but unfortunately did not get to answer nor make the proper introductions that she would have liked to because the heavy mechanical trot sounded behind her and she glanced back behind her at the droid with a roll of her eyes as she already knew what was coming.  
  
"So sorry to interrupt." Threepio suddenly cut in, coming down off the ramp. "We simply must leave now if we are to arrive in time for the meeting with the Senate."  
  
"Of course. You're right." Leia quickly hugged her son in a tight embrace. "I'll visit. I promise you. Be a good boy for your uncle, Ben."  
  
With those final words Leia made her way back onto the ship and Luke held out his gloved hand for Ben to take. He was hesitant, but... Ben needed some sense of comfort and took that hand, squeezed tightly as the knot in his stomach tightened when the ramp closed and his mother disappeared from his sight.

They both watched as Leia's ship slowly lifted and took off far, far away from here. It broke his heart beyond what words could ever express and despite his best efforts the tears started to steam down anew as he watched his mother leave him. They hated him. They abandoned him... the voices in his head were silent, but somehow he felt that they must be laughing at him right now.  
  
"Ben... don't cry." Luke's voice cut into his thoughts.  
  
Ben sniffled and tired to rub the tears away all over again, but it was so difficult. He felt so lost and so afraid. So lonely. The mother he loved and trusted so much just left him here so easily and so quickly.  
  
"Sorry... uncle Luke... I'll be good. Please don't send me away too." His voice broke on every word and he watched Luke's smile disappear, felt a tinge of emotion... pity? No... it was a little harder to tell with Luke, but it was some sort of sadness. Sadness for him.

"No, Ben. I won't send you anywhere. This is your home. You're going to become a Jedi... you're my first student. You'll be a shining example to all the other future Jedi. A hero. A legend."

"What if I don't want to be a Jedi?"

"Well..." Luke sighed and stood, placing his hands at his hips. "sometimes, Ben... we're given responsibility whether we like it or not. You have a power. That means you have a responsibility to become a defender of the galaxy. Do you understand?"

Ben was hesitant as he listened to his uncle, but he knew that he did have a power and he was well aware that sometimes he couldn't control it and he broke things... almost hurt himself and his parents. So maybe Luke was right.

"I understand."

"Good." Luke patted his shoulder gently. "We'll get your powers under control. This is the beginning of a great and bright future. I promise you that."

"Uncle Luke?" Ben began tentatively. "Do you... as a Jedi... ever... get an empty feeling inside of you? Like something is missing?"

"Missing? How so, Ben?"

"It's... is there something missing inside of me? It feels like there is."

"Well... I..." Luke was clearly perplexed by it. "Perhaps the path of the Jedi is calling for you. Once you master the ways of the force that missing piece will finally fall into place. We'll work on it together. I promise."

Ben was a bit disappointed that Luke had no answer to the empty feeling inside of him. He didn't know if there really was a bright future ahead of him or if he even wanted to be a Jedi, but as he watched his mother's ship disappearing into the distance he knew one thing for certain.

He had never felt so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have to announce that this will be my last reylo fanfic. There are a lot of reasons for that. The way that TROS went and sort of cast a shadow on all of Star Wars for me and mixed with the fact that there are some really bad fans. So I will be going out with a bang.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been nearly been a year at the academy. Things weren't perfect, Lor San Tekka always wanted ten page papers on the things they had learned in class, the new students were annoying, but Ben had settled in. His uncle had even taught him how to do a padawan braid and he couldn't stop thinking that his mother might like it because she always enjoyed experimenting with hairstyles.

His father didn't visit nearly as much as his mother did, but it suited him just fine. He was still angry with Han for the times he got so frustrated during fights with his mother that he walked out. His father would leave for days... weeks... and always return with flowers and apologizes. His mother would forgive him every time.

It was an endless cycle between his parents. His mother might forgive him every time, but Ben was disgusted by his father's selfishness and infuriated by his mother's willingness to tolerate it.

While he had been sad and bitter about being sent here at least he had a break from watching them fight. He decided that it was something that he needed. It was an added bonus that he had been gradually learning control over his powers since his uncle had been giving him extensive lessons in his Force abilities. 

More so than the other students. Luke gave him a special class with just the two of them so that he could help him one on one and it seemed to be working. He didn't accidentally break things through the force when he was sad or angry anymore. Luke had told him that he was proud of him that he was getting better.

It gave him hope that maybe his mother would let him come home since he was getting better and that hope kept him going on the worst days. Speaking of his mother... Ben glanced up at the sky from the landing pad as he paced back and forth while waiting for his mother's ship to arrive. His excitement was growing as he thought about seeing his mother for the first time in month and having one of her warm hugs after so long.

His pacing only stopped once he saw the glint of the ship that was slowly coming in for a landing and for the first time in the months he smiled. He was quick to step back to make room as the ramp lowered. The first thing that caught his attention was the familiar golden glint of C-3PO in the evening sunlight that filtered down off the top of the ship.  
  
"Threepio, where's mom? Is she in the back resting? It was a long flight wasn't it?" Ben questioned and stepped forward, beginning to make his way up onto the ramp, hardly able to contain his excitement at the prospect of seeing his mother.  
  
"Master Ben..." Threepio began and then Ben's face fell at the tone, because he already knew and when he reached out in the force she was nowhere to be found. "Your mother unfortunately cannot be here. There was an incident in the senate and-"

His heart sunk. Excuses. More excuses. He didn't want to hear any of it and so he turned and sprinted away from the landing pad as quickly as his legs would carry him. Threepio's cries of worry became further and further away as ran. Ran until he no longer had the strength to go on and ended up doubled over with hands set on his knees, panting heavily, desperate to catch his breath. 

Despite how hard he had tried to run away from the horrible feelings once he was stopped they all caught up with him and he dropped to his knees. Tears blurred his vision as he reached up and grabbed a fistful of grass as if it would help anchor him. Despite his best efforts he couldn't stop the sobs that shook his tiny frame. All the pain inside of him started to spill out like his tears. The voices inside of his head were absolutely right. His parents really did hate him. They had thrown him away and they were never coming back.  
  
"Are you okay?" A questioning, soft voice broke through those dark thoughts and he slowly lifted his head to see the Twi'lek. The youngest student here.  
  
"It's Ben Solo, Nileeta. He's a crybaby like that all the time because Master Luke is his uncle and he can get away with it. A privileged little crybaby." Another student spoke up.

Ben's fists clenched harder in the grass as he sniffled and looked up at the other students. It was always like this. "I'm not a crybaby, Brendol..."

Brendol Sindian. The son of Lady Carise Sindian. A senator and member of one of the elder houses. Their mothers were political opposites which unfortunately caused friction between the two boys.

The boy often got into trouble, but his mother used her influence and credits to make it "disappear.". Ben would be fairly biased if he said his own mother didn't do the same thing for him.  
  
"Yeah, right! You cry every time your mommy doesn't come to see you." Brendol responded and some of the other boys were unable to stifle their laughter. Nileeta seemed more sympathetic, but she didn't do anything to stop it either. "All our moms left but you don't see us crying. You're just a coward, crybaby! You aren't even worthy to be trained by Master Luke."  
  
Those words piled on top of his pain and weighed him down, pulled him even further into that swirling, inky blackness inside of him. It all hurt. Like jagged knives pressing even deeper into his already wounded heart, but at the same time his shoulders began to shake with frustration and rage. 

The rage was so much easier to feel than the pain and so he drew his strength from it. Tightly clenching his teeth together he forced himself up to his feet to stand at his full height defiantly. "I'm not a coward."  
  
"So you say with your mouth. I bet that's why your mom can't stand to see you. She hates knowing she raised a coward." Brendol crossed his arms over his chest and smirked.  
  
That last cord holding him back snapped and Ben charged at Brendol, tackled the other boy to the ground and struck him hard in the face with a resounding crack, all his pent up feelings and rage behind the strike.

The other boys could only glance at one another in shock as this was the first time that Ben Solo had snapped quite like this. There had been harsh words and insults, but never this. The next punch snapped the boys out of it and they quickly rushed over to grab Ben and pull him off Brendol before he could inflict more damage.  
  
"I dare you to say it again!" Ben snapped, struggling and fighting against the other students trying to get them to slip up or release him. "Let go of me!"  
  
"Hold him still! We'll show him what we do to crybabies on Arkanis." Brendol snapped and wiped the blood from his nose.

He let a vicious punch fly right into Ben's stomach, then the face and proceeded from there to violently beat him. His face took a lot of it, but another blow to the stomach made his insides churn. Made bile rise up in his throat and forced him down to his knees from the sheer pain of the blow. The moment he was down the other two joined in like a pack of animals that finally felled their prey. Like animals that had tasted blood.

They continued to hit and kick him even while he was down. He tried to fight back, tried to get up, but in the end there were too many hits from too many directions and all he could do was try to protect his head. Eventually he stopped trying to fight back, because he couldn't win and at the very least the physical pain of being beaten was so much easier to feel then the ache inside of his heart. The rage didn't work nor could it help him here so he focused on the physical ache in his beaten body instead.  
  
Though the boys seemed to grow disinterested when he simply gave up and backed away without another word save perhaps to spit on him before going. For awhile after they had gone he just laid there in the grass silently... but it struck him that once again the were like animals. That was what Luke said wasn't it? Play dead if you were ever in danger. Funny... people and animals weren't that different from one another. He almost laughed. Almost.

_'You could kill them.'_ A whisp of a voice echoed through his mind. It was something that he pushed back against. Ignored with everything that he had in him while he waited for the pain to fade enough for him to feel that he could stand.

It did fade with a great deal of focus and concentration on his breathing. It was more of a throb than a constant ache now and so he felt he was finally able to move. Pressing his hands into the grass he pushed himself up from the ground and limped his way back to the temple. Every step was agony, but perseverance won out and the long walk was rewarded with finally making it through the doors of the academy.

His room wasn't much further. Ben hoped that he could just slink back to his room and sleep it off without anyone noticing, but he froze upon seeing Luke coming down the hallway with Threepio. No such luck it seemed.  
  
"Uncle Luke." He didn't want to get caught, but he didn't see a way out.  
  
"Ben what's this I hear about you running from Threepio." Luke questioned, having yet to get close enough to see the bruises. He dreaded what Luke might say if he found out the truth. If Luke found out that he was so weak that he'd been put in that situation and when Luke finally was close enough he came to a stop. "Ben... what happened?"  
  
"I... I fell..." Ben decided to lie for the shame he felt at losing a fight so badly.  
  
"Jedi do not lie." Luke took a knee in front of Ben to inspect his bruises more closely. "Tell me the truth."  
"... the other students said I was a cry baby and privileged only because of you... and I got mad..."  
  
"So you fought with them? You should have come to me. I would have handled it." Luke stood up with a sigh. "Ben... from now on you mustn't call me uncle. You must refer to me as Master Luke. I can't have the other students believing that you're treated with special privileges. I'm sorry I hadn't thought of it before."

It felt like another betrayal. Another slap in the face and Ben lowered his head because he couldn't even look at his uncle anymore. First his father... then his mother... and now even his uncle. He really was alone.

"Allow me to take Master Ben and tend to his injuries." Threepio suggested.

"A good idea. I'll have a word with the boys." With that Luke patted his shoulder and left the room to go and repair the damage that had been done. 

"Master Ben allow me to treat your injuries." Threepio urged, but Ben ignored the stupid droid and continued on to his room, only hearing the mechanical turn of Threepio's joints as the droid hurried after him. "I also have to give you the message from your mother!"

"I don't want it!" Ben snapped, slamming a hand down on the button for the door and stomping into his room. Once inside he gave into the anger, shoving all the Jedi texts off his desk and throwing his chair across the room. "She hasn't come here to see me. My tenth birthday and she doesn't come! She doesn't care about me. Why should I care about her?!"

It hurt. It all hurt. Everything hurt. 

"Master-"

"Stop it, Threepio!" He demanded, slamming a first on the desk and feeling the tears welling up in his eyes once more even though he tried to push all the hurt and the pain down with anger and rage instead.

"But I'm here. I would like to wish you a very happy tenth birthday." Threepio said and very slowly waddled closer to Ben to place a metallic hand down upon his shoulder. "Your mother really did want to be here, but something terrible happened in the senate. The tension between the Populists and the Centrists is about to rip the Republic apart. The peace of the galaxy is at risk."

Ben sniffed lightly and then dripped onto his bed and stared down at his boots, scuffing them along the floor and trying to be understanding, but still feeling so betrayed that his mother had let him down again.

There was sadness... there was pain... there was anger. Under that however... he felt... something else. 

His head lifted suddenly when the room suddenly became... muffled so to speak. There was a noise. Thumping. Repetitive... soothing... like a heartbeat. Ben slowly lifted his hand to his chest and felt a tug. Like something was pulling at his heart... or perhaps even at his very soul. That thing that was missing... he felt it, but there were tinges of darkness in the other heartbeat. Something so strange.

Was it his? No... but, yes at the same time it was? A cry somewhere distant. Bright. It was so bright. A stark contrast of coming from a warm safe place and out into the cold.

"Master Ben?" Threepio's voice sounded muffled even.

"I can feel my heart..." He breathed out in amazement.

"Are you quite alright? Please allow me to take you to the medbay for an examination you may have received head trauma."

It didn't last. The sound returned and the heartbeat faded away, but he was still clutching his chest as it did. Worse Threepio was still rambling and so he used the force to shove Threepio out of the room and lock the door on him so that he couldn't come back in.

"Go home, Threepio! Mom needs you more than I do." He grabbed his pillow forcefully and held it against his chest, wondering what in the world was happening to him right now, because none of it made any sense. He had never felt anything like this before.

A part of him wanted to talk to Luke about it, but... his trust in Luke had been lost. There was no point in asking him about something so personal as his heart. Sighing Ben placed his pillow back onto the bed and laid back on it, closing his eyes he decided that the best thing that he could do was try to sleep off the pain.

He didn't care for celebrating his tenth birthday anymore. Luke would just have to accept he wasn't feeling well enough. He saw the proof on his face after all.

As he slipped into the stillness of sleep he dreamt of a woman dressed in white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was a short chapter, but setting up a lot of important themes. The growing feelings of abandonment from his family and the troubles with 'other' students. If you read the books you'll see exactly where I'm going with picking 'that' particular name.
> 
> Next time on Jedi Academy 101: A wild Rey appears!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to find you, had to let you know  
> That you weren't alone.
> 
> I had to find you, had to get right back  
> To you, it's always been you
> 
> Who would have thought  
> That love so belated  
> Could save me
> 
> \- Who Would Have Thought by Darren Hayes

_"Who are you?" He didn't recognize his own voice when it came out in a mechanical hiss, but regardless if his voice was recognizable or not the woman in white did not respond to him. It was as if she didn't hear him._

_He looked down at himself, found himself in layers of black, lifted his hand to find it clad in black leather too. That blackness was surrounding him, wrapping around his body and suffocating him like sticky tentacles that adhered themselves to him._

_"Who are you?" He asked again and when the woman in white finally did look at him he was blinded by the light. Pure, like the sun. He had to lift a hand up to shield himself from it for it was too bright for him... for where he stood here in the shadowy darkness._

_He looked down to protect his eyes, but as he did he caught his reflection in a pond that was before him. There he saw himself. Dressed in all black from head to toe. A dark mask covered his face and suddenly he realized why his voice sounded the way it was. This mask distorted everything._

_His throat felt dry all of a sudden. It was hot under this uniform. Felt as if he had been wandering in the hot desert sands for days on end with no water. He reached up to the helmet, pulled it off of himself and dropped it to the side with a heavy thud._

_Falling to his knees he reached a hand down for a drink of the cold, blue water and brought it up, drank deeply of it... cool, crisp... almost sweet... and then all of a sudden he was choking, looking down to see the water had turned into a black slime and his throat had been sealed shut with it._

_He tried to call for help, but no sound left him despite how hard he tried. Looking up he saw his parents and Luke just across the water. He reached his hand out desperately in a silent plea for them to save him, but they didn't notice. He was dying and they didn't notice. Hands rose up from the now inky black water and pulled him down into the deepest depths. Drowning him. Suffocating him. Killing him._

"NO!" Ben shot up out of bed, pressed a hand over his thundering heart that felt as if it might rip right out of his rib cage any moment. As if it sought to flee his body to get away from the terror inside of his own mind.

Groaning he buried his face in his hands and had to remind himself that it was just another nightmare. That there was nothing to be afraid of, but since his tenth birthday... for the past six years he had been dreaming of this woman in white. Always interrupted by nightmares.

Six years.

It had not faded and showed no signs of ever fading away. He felt that the force must be telling him something. Why else would have keep having dreams about this woman? But the problem was that he could never see her face.

"What do you want from me?" He asked aloud even if he was well aware that there would be no answer.

Heaving out another sigh he swung his feet over off the side of the bed and onto the cool tile. The coldness of it grounded him. Reminded him of where he was. That he wasn't still trapped inside of a nightmare or a dream.

Running a hand through his hair he glanced over at the clock to get a look at the time. 0500 hours. He knew he should try to get another hour or two of rest, but after a dream like that he knew there was no way that he could. The terror was like a freshly opened wound. It was still bleeding.

And then that feeling started to close in on him suddenly. The world became muffled and he swore that he felt and heard his heart beating steadily. Strongly. Something... somewhere was calling for him.

It faded away from him all too soon. He was left with an emptiness inside of him once again. A longing. An ache.

Enough was enough. Ben Solo gritted his teeth and forced himself up off the bed, moved over to the closet to dress in a hurry, stuffed some supplies into a bag that he slung over his shoulder and then went straight to the hanger.

He pressed his back up against the wall and silently slid down along the hallway, stopping just at the door to the hanger and then peeked around to make certain there were no droids that might see him. If they saw him in the hanger without proper clearance they would report to Luke or Lor San Tekka.

Fortunately there was nobody. It was empty.  
  
The door to his uncle's office was open. His lightsaber was there on his desk. It was something that he thought he might need so he snatched that before he broke from cover and ran across to the hanger, straight for the black and orange X-wing that sat in the far corner because it was the fastest ship here. He needed fast. He couldn't let them catch him. If they caught him he was never going to get another chance at this.

With no time to waste he hurried up the ladder and jumped up into the cockpit. Pulling the canopy down he flipped the series of switches that fired up the engine and pushed forward on the throttle. The ship responded. Sensitively. Too sensitively. 

It shot out of the hanger so fast he felt his entire body jerk and slam into the seat. It was not what he was expecting, but he did manage to get a handle on the ship. The tension finally left his shoulders when Yavin disappeared from sight, leaving only stars in it's wake.

He took a deep breath and tried to stop his hands from shaking, because he was nervous-no... he was terrified. He hadn't ever gone out on his own until now, but sometimes there were things that you just had to do as a Jedi and this was one of them. Following the feeling he had... following the force... and doing the things that he was most afraid of. It was what Luke always said after all.

A startled beeping cut through his thoughts and the cloud of fear hovering over him. Ben turned to glance back behind him, seeing an orange and white BB unit.

"What? No! I'm not kidnapping you."

The droid continued to furiously beep at him.

"Look... I'm sorry... I didn't realize you were in here." He hadn't realized that Poe's droid was charging in the back. "I need the coordinates for a planet... I promise to return you safely to your master, but... first I need your help. This is important. Maybe the most important thing I'll ever do with my life."

The droid was silent for a short time and began beeping out his response.

"Thank you, Bebe." He was relieved when the droid affirmed that yes, he would indeed help him so long as he was returned safely. Ben closed his eyes and reached out with the force to try to feel or see what he was searching for. It was there... or an outline of it. "I'm looking for a desert planet... skeletons of ships buried in the sand... a graveyard... imperial and rebel..."

Bebe let out a sound that mysteriously sounded like an 'ohhh' before a particular planet came up on the console. 

"Jakku?" He couldn't say it was a planet that he had ever heard of before, but he nodded and decided to trust the droid. "Okay, take us there."

Leaning back in his seat he closed his eyes and allowed the droid to handle the flight. He needed a moment to think and gather his nerves so that his fear did not force him to turn around and abandon his quest.

The droid activated the hyper-drive and behind his closed eyes he saw the bright blue flash that signified they were on their way. Trusting that Bebe knew what he was doing and that the force was going to guide him to where he needed to be he let the exhaustion take him back under into the darkness of sleep.

* * *

_It was a warm summer afternoon on Naboo. Ben was playing hiding games with Poe. He went towards the barn to hide amongst the Orbaks as he was entirely sure he wouldn't be found in here._

_He smiled to himself, knowing that he would be find victory in this game. It was too good a hiding spot. A perfect one. But then the sweet smelling hay was replaced by something coppery and nauseating. He slowly turned from his hiding place and moved deeper into the barn._

_As he rounded the corner heart seized in his chest when he stumbled into the rotting corpses of his parents. He started to back up, ready to scream, but they rose up like zombies, smelling of rotten flesh and pulled him into their cold embrace._

Ben woke up with a gasp, banged his head on the cockpit window and heard Bebe's concerned beeping behind him. Just another nightmare... just another terrible dream. It wasn't real.

"Nothing... it's fine..." He realized then that they had landed at some point and he took a look around the desert planet, wondering if they were in the right place or not. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Bebe let out a series of beeps, insisted that he looked like he could use some sleep.

He unbuckled his harness and flipped the hatch, letting the canopy open and as soon as he did a wave of hot air washed over him. Making him feel like he had just stepped into a hot oven. Like he might just burn up in this oppressive heat.

Ben pulled himself from the cockpit and hopped down over the side, boots hitting the sand with a sense of finality. This was it. He was really here. He had really left the academy in search of that calling. It wasn't another dream.

The problem was that he still didn't know where to look. 

As he tried to get through the crowd of people he accidentally bump into a few here and there and heard a few distinct slurs about humans directed at him from some of the alien creatures that he passed. Their thoughts were filled with wishing terrible things on him for something so simple as bumping into them. 

So cruel. Crushing pressure of their hate and anger bared down on him. Shaking his head he continued to follow that feeling, but it wasn't easy. There were too many thoughts that came flittering through his mind as he searched. He had to stop and gather himself before he went on. His head already ached under the strain.

"Please... please..." He pleaded under his breath. He had no idea where to start... where to go... how to find what he was looking for and so he begged the Force to aid him. To give him some sort of sign.

Closing his eyes he reached out in the force again. He wasn't even sure what he was reaching out to... there was something... something was here... but it was almost impossible to find through the feelings and emotions of all the other people around him when he reached out in the force. 

This outpost felt so hopeless. Everyone was struggling so hard to get along and just seemed resigned to their fate to forever live this way. 

He wondered why they had to suffer that way, but... this wasn't what he was here for. Not now. Maybe later he could do something for them or his mother could. Right now... whatever was calling to him was here. Right here. In this outpost.  
  
He stepped under the awning-roofed blockhouse that some fat blob fish Crolute used as his Concession Stand. He stayed away from the Crolute. He got a bad feeling off of him. His soul was stained black with greed and selfishness. Eating slowly away at him like a cancer.

The twinge in his heart caught him off guard when he passed one particular table and it made him stop for just a moment. He noted a tiny girl, but shook his head sadly that someone so small was resigned to this fate. Turning he took another few steps away from the table... except when he got further so did the feeling.  
  
Again he stopped. Turned back towards the girl again. She was small, fragile and polishing off a Recharge coupling. It hit him with the force of a star fighter. Without a doubt this tiny thing was what he had felt calling out in such great force.

"It is you..." He breathed out shakily and took several stumbling steps forward, tripping over his own feet as he was overcome by this indescribably profound feeling that pierced his heart.

His words and actions however finally caught the girl's attention and she suddenly straightened up. On high alert now. Distrust and fear drifting across her face when she realized that his interest was in her.   
  
"I've been looking for you..." He breathed in deeply and took a few steps closer, placing his hands on the table to brace himself so that he didn't collapse under these overwhelming feelings. He couldn't quite help when his voice rose with excitement. "I never thought I was going to find you... I thought.... in the back of my mind I wondered if I was... I thought that maybe I was... imagining this whole thing. I was... scared that I was going crazy."  
  
The young girl didn't respond of course. She was looking at him very apprehensively, had stopped what she was doing and tucked the Recharge coupling against her chest, curled in on herself as if she thought he would steal it from her.  
  
"You don't have to do that anymore. I'm going to take you away from here." He reached out a hand, but the girl mistook his invitation as an attempt to steal from her and so she reacted violently by sinking her teeth into his fingers. He yipped like a wounded dog and ripped his hand away, torn skin bleeding. The little thing certainly had a bite on her!

Needless to say he was so busy nursing his wounded hand that he didn't notice it until it was too late when she grabbed a staff from the table and slammed it into the back of his skull as hard as she could.

" _Haar'chak!_ " He let out a string of curses in every language he knew, rubbing the place where it felt like she'd cracked his skull and trying desperately to soothe it.

He wasn't angry. He just wondered what sort of a life she must have lived to have been forced to become this way. Something inside of him churned uncomfortably and he wanted to destroy this whole outpost for turning this poor child into this. He could. He had that power. 

Those thoughts were derailed when he looked up he found that the girl was gathering her scavenged junk and trying to make a run for it. If she got away from him now he may never find her again. She was very hard to find.

"No, wait!" He reached a hand out again, but missed her by inches, fingertips just grazing the cloth at her shoulder. He knew he had to play a more personal card. "At night... when you're desperate to sleep you imagine an ocean."

That managed to stop the girl and she slowly turned around to look at him with clear shock written all over her face.

"How can you know that?" 

"I'm a Jedi." He sort of lied. He was still just a padawan, but he hoped that hearing Jedi was the equivalent of hearing police officer to her. He pulled his cloak aside to reveal his lightsaber for proof. "You... your heart was calling to mine... I came here to find you..."

"My heart?" Again the girl was still so confused.  
  
"Can we start over...? With no biting this time." He held out his hand and the small girl still looked hesitant and weary of him. Still kept a little distance. "I'm Ben."  
  
"Rey..." She spoke, voice very small and nervous.

"You have the force, Rey. Do you know what that means?" As he expected the girl slowly shook her head. No. She didn't understand. Of course she didn't. "It means I get to take you away from this place. From now on you're going to have plenty of food... abundant water... no sand..."  
  
"I can't leave." She suddenly spoke. Strongly. With more conviction than he'd ever heard in a child before. More words made her coruscanti accent clearer to him. "My parents are going to come back for me."  
  
"Tell you what... I'll talk to the junkyard boss... when your parents come back he'll tell them where I took you and they can hop right over to the academy to get you." He dropped his arm over his knee and smirked at the way that the girl looked stunned by his argument.  
  
She opened her mouth, snapped it shut again and repeated the motion as she tried to think up what to say, but came up empty handed and then finally nodded.  
Starvation and exhaustion had won out. It was clear to tell even without the force how weak and tired the girl was. How overheated she was after working her tiny hands to the bone among the harsh desert sands.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay." He repeated and held his hand out for her once more.

For a moment he thought that maybe she wasn't going to take his hand as she hadn't a moment ago, but she did reach out for it, gently brushing her tiny, filthy hand along his and trying her best to take it. The touch changed something though and he knew that she felt it too because she looked up towards his face suddenly.

It felt like that hole in his heart had just been filled. It felt like coming home. He didn't care how filthy she was he still pulled her into his arms. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head he buried his nose in her hair, closed his eyes and tried not to cry. It was so overwhelming. It was almost as like... "like you were born with the other half of my heart."

"What does that mean?" Rey asked, tiny hands reaching out to clutch onto the front of his robes, to bury her face into his chest and bask in the same comforts he was feeling in that moment.  
  
"I-... I don't know." He hadn't even meant to say it out loud. "I'm here now. Everything is going to be alright. I'll take care of you."

His words made the child cry. He hadn't intended to make her cry, but he could also tell that they weren't tears of sadness. They were of relief.

As much as he would love to just stay like this... it was too hot to hold her for too long so he stood. It seemed it was difficult for her leave behind that piece of scrap she had been working on all for the sake of eating that night. She kept glancing back at it. Had a hard time letting it go. He vowed that she was never going to live like that again.

Bebe chirped from the cockpit as he lifted Rey and helped her up over the side and into the cockpit, but just as he put a foot onto the first step of the ladder a shout caught his attention. It was the junkyard boss. He pulled the canopy down for her safety just in case and he turned to face down the Crolute. He wasn't afraid of some cowardly slaver.  
  
"What do you want?" He wasn't in the mood to fight or argue. He had what he had come here for and now he needed to get her home. Get her cleaned up and a good meal in her.  
  
"That girl is mine. I paid for her!" The Crolute shouted.  
  
He lowered his head upon hearing that and glanced off to the side. So that was how it was? It was a good thing he had tucked Rey away into the cockpit. She hadn't heard. She didn't need to know... didn't need to hear. Not right now.  
  
"Rey is no longer your concern. By Order of the Church of The Force and the New Jedi Order I'm taking her... try and stop me." He brushed aside his dark cloak to reveal the hilt of his lightsaber. If this junkyard boss dared to try to stop him he wasn't afraid to use it.  
  
The Crolute looked uneasy, angry even, but it seemed that he was well aware that going against the Jedi Order was not good for business.  
  
"Fine! Take her, but I expect compensation for my losses!"  
  
"I've nothing to give a slaver. I'll sooner kill you before paying you for a human being." He dropped his hand down to his saber and then the junkyard boss threw his hands up. "Good."  
  
He turned and climbed up into the cockpit then, watched Rey try to move out of his way, but there wasn't enough room. It was only meant for one person and he was taller than most pilots. He maneuvered her in his lap so he could make sure he could easily reach around her for the controls. There really wasn't much space in here.  
  
"Don't touch anything." He requested as he flipped the switches to get the engine going. He wasn't sure what was going to happen when he got back, but he knew for absolute certain that Luke would be livid.  
  
"Was Unkar really mad?"  
  
"Is that his name?" There was no need to make a mental note of that name. It was never going to be important to him. "No. We just spoke about your parents. That's all. They know where to find you."  
  
Of course it was... sort of the truth. Her parents had known where to find her all along, but they'd sold her. They weren't coming back. He knew what it was like. To be thrown away by one's parents. His had thrown him away too. It only solidified the want he had to take care of her. To make things right.  
  
He reached around her, punched in the coordinates and once they had safely gotten off the planet he let Bebe do his thing. The last thing he needed was to crash a ship he hardly knew how to fly. Before it had been just him and if he died that was one thing, but his life wasn't the only one he had to be responsible for now.  
  
"Where are we going?" Rey questioned him and he leaned his head back against the seat with a sigh.  
  
"To the Jedi Academy."  
  
"I don't have the Force."  
  
"Yes, you do. It's just asleep inside of you. That's why I was able to find you, but... you already know that." He answered. "Don't you? Why did you come with me, Rey?"  
  
"I think I had dreams about you." She admitted.  
  
"Did you?" A part of him was surprised, but then again why should he be? The Force willed this into existence whatever it was. "I dreamt of you too."  
  
The X-Wing lurched into hyper-drive and started the trip back to the Academy. Which he dreaded of course. He knew that Luke was going to be very angry with him and half wondered if he wouldn't kick him out him out, but then his mother would likely cover for him... get him back in good graces and Luke would be unable to do so.  
  
Somewhere along the way Rey had fallen asleep, snuggled up against his chest, tiny fingers curled into his robes and his expression softened. His chest felt full and warm for the first time in his life. This was what he had been missing. It solidified the desire to protect and care for this girl. He would raise her. Take care of her. Make her a strong Jedi. He would make up for all the wrong. Make sure she lived a fully and happy life. She deserved it after all she had been through.  
  
He suspected that the poor girl must have been absolutely exhausted and now that she knew through the Force that she was safe her body decided it was time to get the rest that it needed. He knew that she would also need to eat and drink once they returned. Get her strength up where it should be.  
  
It wasn't much longer until the X-Wing broke into the Academy's airspace and he took over the controls and pulled into the hanger, landing the fighter nice and easy.

As expected Luke was waiting there with Lor San Tekka and Poe at his side. 

Sighing deeply he shut down the engines one last time and then pushed the canopy up and open. As he did this he very gently nudged Rey to wake. It was difficult to get her awake once she had fallen asleep because her exhausted, tiny body was begging for rest. Rey looked up at him groggily and then down at the group of men that were standing outside of the ship. The moment she saw them she quickly tucked her face into his chest to hide in him and he felt his chest puff up with pure protective instinct. It was the strongest thing he had ever felt in his life.

"Rey... this is my uncl-mmm Master Luke Skywalker." He quickly corrected himself, gaze shifting over to his uncle as he started to climb out of the cockpit with Rey in his arms, trying to get them both down safely while she clung onto him.

"You alright, buddy?" Poe's first concern was to march right past Ben to check on his droid. It didn't surprise him. Poe loved that droid as if it were his own child.

"That was a very dangerous stunt you pulled young Solo." Lor San Tekka was the first to address him directly.

"This is Rey... she was under the care of a Crolute on Jakku." Ben was silently giving Luke and Tekka the pieces of the puzzle to put together without directly saying it for Rey to hear, but Luke's expression was different.

"I sense something, a presence I've not felt since…" Luke trailed off, gently stroking a hand along his bead as he contemplated the girl. His hand dropped as he seemed to come to a conclusion. "Get that girl cleaned and fed. We'll discuss a punishment after."

Ben nodded, because he could accept that. He would accept anything for her. Any punishment that he might receive was worth finding her.

He wrapped his arms tighter around her, pulled her in closer and more securely against him as he exited the hanger. It was only as he got done the empty hallway a much further distance from the group that Rey actually peeked her head out from where she had tucked it into his chest and took a careful look around.

Looking out the windows seemed to surprise the girl because she had to do a double take as they passed them and he decided to stop in front of one of them and let her have a good look outside. 

"It's so green..." Rey stated in amazement, reaching a hand out to press against the window as if she could reach out and touch it all.

"You've never been off Jakku have you?" Ben supposed that she couldn't have been considering she didn't know the world had green like this. "The green isn't going anywhere... let's get you cleaned up and then you can look all you want."

"Where are we?"

"Yavin. In the Outer Rim territory." He explained as he turned the corner to grab some robes from a supply closet that he thought would fit her and then into one of the 'freshers. "Here we are..."

He very slowly set her down and slid the door closed behind them. It occurred to him how odd it was to be taking are of another human being. He never really imagined himself in this position if he was completely honest.

But he had to shake those thoughts off and moved to draw a bath for her, dipping his fingers into the slowly filling water to be certain that it wasn't too hot or too cold. He didn't want to do this wrong, but he was afraid that he was going to mess something up like he seemed to mess everything else up.

"Are you going to take a bath with me?" Rey questioned and he smiled somewhat nervously and shook his head as he added some foaming bath.

"Ah, no."

"Why not? My parents did."

"Because they were your parents. I'm not. It's different." 

"Why?" Again another question and he sighed.

"It just is." If he was honest he had no idea how to explain to her why he couldn't.

As she undressed he did glance away to give her the bare minimum of privacy and only looked back once she was sitting back in the bath as the bubbles kept more sensitive areas out of view.

"What are these?" Rey seemed fascinated with the bubbles, clearly never having seen them before.

"Foaming bath." Although he wasn't surprised she didn't know what it was.

"Why bubbles? What do they do? Do they make you more clean?"

"No. They don't do anything. People just add them sometimes because it's fun." He answered simply. There wasn't a practical reason for foaming bath like she expected there to be and he had simply thought that she might enjoy it. "I'm going to help wash your hair, but you have to clean everywhere else by yourself, alright?"

There were no questions about why this time. She already knew without him having to tell her.

Rolling back his sleeves he reached up for the Trillium soap -his mother loved the smell of it- and got a good lather of it between his hands before reaching down to work it into her hair. Feeling the sand and dirt trapped in it he did his best to get it all out as difficult as that was. It was a lot of work and he found himself sighing.

This girl was absolutely filthy and he really had his work cut out for him. Still... he felt a swelling of emotion in his chest and smiled slightly, wondering if this was what being a father was like. This protective love that he felt for her.

"What is this place?" Rey finally asked, having finished scrubbing all the sand and dirt off the rest of her body.

"The Great Temple was built by the Massassi over five thousand years ago, but they went extinct... then it was a rebel base and now it's a Jedi temple." 

"Five thousand? It isn't going to fall down on us? The ships on Jakku fell down sometimes when I was getting parts for Plutt... it was scary." Rey shivered slightly at the mention of the ships on Jakku and he physically felt a twinge of her terror when she recalled how scary it had been to nearly be crushed.

"No. When the Republic re-purposed the temple they lined the interior walls with sheets of seamed metal and reinforced the floors with ferrocrete. It isn't going to fall down on your head. I promise." He reached back for the sprayer at the back of the bath. "Close our eyes, tilt your head back."

Asking her to close her eyes seemed to be testing their limits a little, because she hesitated, but did finally do as he asked and he was able to clean out the soap from her hair without too much of an issue and once he was certain it was clean he placed the sprayer back.

Rey peeked one eye open and looked up at him, but noticing he was done she felt that she could open her eyes again and brushed her hands over a few bubbles... except as he brought his arm back something caught her eye.

He didn't realize at first, but she caught his arm in her tiny hands and slowly smoothed her fingers over the scars he had there.

"What are these...?" Her question was innocent enough, but he still jerked his arm away from her and tugged his sleeve down as far as it would go.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." He couldn't possibly make a child understand that sometimes hurting himself was the only way to make the voices go away. To relieve the pain and the pressure and the stress that built up over time. "Come on out."

He picked up the towel and held it out for her so that she could dry off, averting his eyes as she got out and took it from him. He finally turned his back to her to give her as much privacy as he could manage.

"Don't put your old clothes back on... put the clean ones on." He informed, watching the door and patiently tracing the patterns in it with his eyes.

"Okay. Done!" Rey said, sounding extremely pleased with herself for having done all of this by herself.

He held his hand out to her and she took it without hesitation this time. That part was getting a lot easier. The trust only came because of the bond between them otherwise he knew that she would never trust him because of the conditions she had grown under.

"I'll get you something small to eat and then show you to your room." Ben knew that he had to be careful not to overfeed a child that had been starving. They had to work her up to eating normal meals.

Just a small meal and then she could get some rest.

* * *

Luke stood there outside in the hallway, looking in through the door as he watched Ben moving back and forth across the room to arrange the bed with blankets and pillows and everything that he could find to make their newest member comfortable.

"Amazing. He's nesting." Lor San Tekka mused, hands folded behind his back.

"He is. They're bonded in a way I've never seen before." Luke stroked a hand over his beard again and shook his head. "It's like a compulsion... he can't help himself."

"Are you still going to punish him then?"

"I have to. What he did was reckless. He could have been hurt... or someone else could have been looking for him."

"Perhaps something lighter then?" Tekka suggested.

"I agree. Cleaning duty would suffice." Luke responded. "For now... let's keep a close eye on this bond."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"I don't know."

"They cannot escape the truth that is their family."

Luke simply sighed in response and both men stood there watching for several more moments as Ben prepared the room to be as comfortable for Rey as possible before deciding that everything was taken care of and departed to return to their duties.  
  


* * *

  
Rey was stunned. She could hardly believe that she got an entire room all to herself. It was bigger than she had expected it would be. Back on Jakku she had only had the shelter of the awning over Plutt's concession.  
  
"This whole room is really mine?" It was still hard to wrap her mind around. "With blankets and pillows and everything?"  
  
"Mmhm." He patted the spot on the bed next to him and she rushed over to the spot and jumped onto the bed. It would be the first time in her life she had ever felt something so soft.  
  
"I can't wait to show my parents when they come here." Rey spoke eagerly, but as she looked up she noticed the way that Ben's face had fallen. She wondered why he looked so sad all of a sudden.  
  
"I have something for you..." He reached behind him to pull out a worn Tooka doll and held it out for her. Again she was amazed that she was being offered even more. "It used to be mine when I was little."  
  
"But... don't you need it? Won't you get scared without it?"  
  
"No." He assured her.  
  
"I promise I'll take really good care of him." Rey reached out hesitantly, because she was unsure of taking something that clearly meant so much to him, but did her best to be very gentle with the stuffed creature.

"I'll be right down the hall if you need anything... and so will Master Luke and Lor San Tekka. Is there anything else I can do for you before I go? A glass of water before bed?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Alright. Goodnight, Rey."  
  
"Goodnight, Ben."  
  


* * *

  
A deep rumbling that shook the temple woke him while lightning flashed outside of the window and briefly illuminated the darkened room. A storm. The next thing that he was aware of as he tried to blink the blur from his vision was the terror... and he thought it odd as he wasn't afraid of storms as he had been as a child, but soon realized that the terror was not his.

"Rey..." He threw his blankets off and rushed out the door, skidded around the corner down the hall and right to her room. Nothing else mattered to him other than reaching her and making sure that she was alright.

The door couldn't open fast enough, but once it was in he saw that she was curled up in a blanket and shivering, looking out the window in fear. It broke his heart that she was so afraid, but this was his own fault. He should have known... Rey had never witnessed a rain storm before. She had no idea what it was.

"Ben, I think there's a monster outside." She whispered as if that would keep any monsters from hearing her.

"No, Rey. It's just a rain storm." He stepped through the door and sat down next to her, held open his arms to give her the option to take comfort in him if she wanted and while there was a moment of hesitation out of pure stubborn independence the electric crackle of lightning sent her crashing into his chest.

Ben sighed softly and reached back for the blanket to pull it up around her shoulders, doing his very best to comfort her just as his mother had always comforted him when he was terrified of the darkness.

"The temperatures here are temperate." He informed her softly, wrapping his arms around her securely and trying to just breathe and let his feelings of calm wash over her.

"What does that mean?"

"It means it doesn't get hot like Jakku, but it doesn't get cold like Hoth." He was glad she was curious. Curiosity was good. It meant she wasn't thinking about the fear. It would get her mind off of it. "Can you trust me with something?"

"With what...?" Rey was hesitant again, but it was the only way to survive on a harsh planet like Jakku.

He lifted her up with him and moved across the room to sit down on the edge of the window, reaching down he unlocked it and very slowly started to open it up, making her tightened her fists in his shirt in fear.

"It's alright. I'll go first." Ben reached his hand out the window slowly, held his palm open to catch some of the rain. "See?"

Rey was silent for a moment as she watched the way he gathered the water in his hand and then she very slowly reached her hand out along side his own, felt the rain water cold and clean against her skin.

For the first time he watched her smile and in turn it made him smile. 

"Will you stay?" Her question brought up a flash from his past. Begging his father to stay with him because the nightmares were terrifying him. Pleading with his mother not to leave him alone for the night.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll stay." His voice cracked slightly and he had to clear his throat to try to bring back some composure to his tone.

When she leaned into him again he thought about how nice it was to feel needed for the first time in his life. It gave him a purpose. It gave him meaning. He'd never felt like anyone wanted or needed him... but she did. She both wanted and needed him.

For the first time he didn't feel so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A little companion piece to go along with this story. We already know who's tormenting him. https://zigguratrolsovitch.tumblr.com/post/190468905700/the-torment-of-ben-solo


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it's intuition  
> But some things you just don't question  
> Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant  
> And there it goes,  
> I think I found my best friend  
> I know that it might sound  
> More than a little crazy  
> But I believe
> 
> I knew I loved you before I met you  
> I think I dreamed you into life  
> I knew I loved you before I met you  
> I have been waiting all my life
> 
> There's just no rhyme or reason  
> Only the sense of completion  
> And in your eyes, I see  
> The missing pieces I'm searching for  
> I think I've found my way home
> 
> \- I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden

Early morning birds chirped happily outside the window. They basking in the newly washed planet after the rainstorm, fluttering down to the ground and bathing and drinking in puddles left behind. 

Everything was new today.

Including waking up in a strange room and bed. Ben blinked several times to clear the blur from his vision and then reached a hand up to rub at his eyes. Funny... he felt so well rested. He had actually slept through the night. Normally those nightmares of him would rob him of a good night's rest. He couldn't even remember the last time that he had slept through the entire night. _If_ he had ever slept through an entire night in his life. The nightmares had always been there for as long as he could remember.  
  
Sighing long and low he lifted his head and glanced down at the warm lump curled against his side. That was right. Rey had requested he stay last night, because she was afraid of the storm. Again he cursed himself for not having thought of that. Of course a child that had never before seen a thunder storm would be absolutely terrified. He really should have known better than to make her sleep alone her first night in a new place.

"Rey..." He reached a hand down to gently place on top of her head and stroke his fingers through her hair. "You need to wake up... you need to attend your Introductory course."

"Mmm..." Rey growled like a feral little loth-kitten and slapped at his hand, trying to bury her face further into the blankets and his side where she perhaps thought that neither he nor the sunlight could reach her.

"You have to get up. You need to learn how to keep a schedule." While he wished that he could indulge her and allow her to sleep longer it just wasn't going to work if he wanted her to succeed here at the academy. "Up."

He slowly sat up and slid an arm under her to lift her up and into a sitting position so that she was left with no choice. Rey did glare at him. Defiant little thing. It made him smile just slightly, but he couldn't let her being adorable distract him. He had to get her up and ready.

"You have to help me with my hair." She informed him.

"Hm?" He raised a brow and then reached forward to work a small braid into her hair, but she grabbed his hand to stop him.

"No. Like how it was when you found me... otherwise my parents might not recognize me when they come to get me."

His breath caught in his throat when she said it with such a hope filled certainty. It hurt him to think that she was waiting for parents that were never going to come back for her. Plutt had told him that her parents had sold her... that he had bought the child. If her parents had really intended to come back for her then why would they have sold her?

"Yeah..." His voice cracked slightly and he had to clear his throat. "Yeah. Turn around."

Rey obediently turned and waited for him to fix her hair up. As he worked it into that three bun style his heart shattered for her, because he knew what it was like to wait for your parents to come back... only for them to never return. He understood what it felt like to wait every day for them to come back, but each day being more and more disappointed.   
  
He bit his lip. Hard enough to taste the copper on his tongue. Rey hadn't been waiting as long as he had. She hadn't had the chance to be as disappointed as he had been and he was terrified that one day she was going to realize the truth. That her heart would be broken the way that his had been by his own parents. He didn't want that for her. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to have the life that he never had.

Sighing softly he pushed those thoughts from his mind and finished up her hair, though left a little to the side for the braid only because it was required for a padawan.

"There. Now it's time for some breakfast." He informed and watched the way that she brush her hand over the braid a little suspiciously, like she wasn't certain of it, but otherwise didn't argue with him about it. He was glad for that. He wanted to get some food in her not argue with her about her hair.

Sliding off the bed he held out his hand for her and she took it without hesitation. At least she was beginning to really trust him after they bonded last night. They might have some kind of a bond through the force, but... they still needed time to adjust to one another.

The mess hall was as lively with chatter as ever, but that all seemed to stop when Ben brought her in through the door and all eyes were on them. It was easier here, because the students could guard there thoughts and he wasn't too overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings. It didn't exactly make him feel any better to have everyone staring at them regardless.

A part of him wanted to sit her at a table and get her food for her, but something twisted in his gut when he thought about leaving her alone at a table. All by herself in this strange place. So in the end he just brought her along to show her how she would be getting her food from now on.

He started by taking a trey and handing it to her and then showing her that she was allowed to pick out whatever it was that she wanted. He decided he'd pick out some healthy things for her, but to his surprise it wasn't too much a problem, because she went straight for the fruits. 

Once their treys were filled he led her to a fairly empty table in the back and seated himself there with her.

The table wasn't empty for long, because Poe Dameron strolled on over with his co-pilot Paige Tico.   
  
It was always nice to see Paige. Poe not so much, but Paige... she was kind. Beautiful. Smart. The sort of girl that any guy would be interested in, but... she was infatuated with Poe. She would follow him into death if he just asked. He knew that against Poe Dameron he didn't stand a snow ball's chance in hell. He was just that odd guy that nobody ever talked to or thought twice about.

"Solo... you stole my ship and endangered my droid." He began, sounding threatening and he thought that maybe Poe was going to chew him out beore that tone broke and he smiled. "I guess I can forgive it because you saved that kid. You're a hero you know. Luke and Tekka told me about... her situation."

"I'm not a hero." Ben insisted. 

"Yes, you are, Ben." Paige seemed to share the sentiment.   
  
He lifted his gaze in surprise. Paige Tico thought he was a hero? It was a nice sentiment and he definitely felt a warm butterfly feeling in his stomach, but... he wasn't some sort of hero that went out to rescue some slave child. It was the will of the Force.

"She was calling to me." His attention was ripped back to Rey when he noticed she was trying to eat the mash with her hands and then grimaced while he quickly grabbed for a napkin and wiped her hands down. "No, we don't eat with our hands. Here."

Ben handed over a fork and a spoon, trying to teach her how to use it and occasionally feeding her something like a parent might with a baby.

"Calling to you? What... like... through the force?" Poe asked him and he shrugged a little bit.

"I guess? It... felt different with her." 

"Different? Hey, maybe she's your long lost sister or something?" It was a joke. Not a very funny one though.

"No." Ben didn't feel that it was anything like that, though a part of him thought that he wouldn't put it past his father. Regardless of whatever anyone else thought he didn't feel that kind of a familiar bond with her. His bond with his parents and Luke felt much different than this did. Though... he definitely felt like he was taking care of her like a younger sister so he supposed he understood where Poe was coming from.

"Word of advice, Solo. Next time... ask Luke for permission before you take off to rescue children from slavers. That whole thing could have gone a lot differently if that guy sent his cronies after you, but... you did good. Your mother would be proud." Poe reached over and patted his shoulder.

And Ben... sort of hated it. It felt patronizing. His mother wouldn't care about anything he did, but she would certainly care about what Poe Dameron did. His mother allowed Poe to work with her and didn't send him away. It was almost like his mother had found herself a newer, better son that she actually liked and wanted to be around.  
  
His teeth gritted and he tried not to get too angry, but he really did hate Poe Dameron. He was a filthy mother stealer. Poe got everything that he wanted... everyone loved Poe. Poe could do no wrong, but if it came to him? Everything that he did was wrong. He was always in trouble.  
  
A hand at his forearm stopped those thoughts before they escalated into something more dangerous. He glanced down to find Rey looking up at him questioningly. 

"You're angry." Rey stated. It wasn't a question. She could sense it from him.

"You're right. I'm sorry." He knew that he had to get himself under control, because if she could feel his emotions like that he couldn't burden her with them. "Did you finish already? You can have some of mine."

He noticed that she had already finished her food and he was well aware that she needed to eat to nourish her body much more than he did so he started to pile some spoonfuls of his own food onto her trey.

"But... you'll starve if you give me all your rations."

"No... it's not like that here, Rey. We can have as much as we want." Ben wasn't entirely sure how to explain to her that there wasn't a shortage of food here and the academy was well funded by rich senators. He smiled and offered a spoonful.

"He's right, Rey. You don't need to worry about food here." Poe reached his hand out towards Rey for a similar shoulder pat, but that was far too close to Rey for Ben's liking. Something just... just snapped inside of him. He grabbed a fork, slammed it down into the table just centimeters from Poe's hand and caused the entire room to go silent and stare.

"Don't touch her!" He bared his teeth in warning. He didn't want Poe touching Rey. He didn't want his hands on her. He didn't want anyone's hands on her. It just set off something inside of him that he couldn't quite get a handle on.

"Ben!" Paige gasped out in horror.

"Easy... why don't you just relax, buddy?" Poe tried to calm the situation before it got too out of hand. 

"I-..." Ben froze when he came to his senses. He hadn't actually meant to react that way. It was just that he felt such an urge to protect her all of a sudden. What was more... there seemed to almost be... well... something else there. Another feeling. He turned his attention towards Rey. "You were going to bite him... you don't like to be touched."

He realized that he reacted because of her. Because of her emotions. 

"How do you know everything?" Rey still didn't seem to understand how the force worked, because she curiously tilted her head and looked at him like he was an oddity.

"I'm just... gonna go..." Poe stated slowly, uncomfortably.

The atmosphere was bad. He didn't like it. Felt the crushing weight of all the students looking at him. There was a much fainter churn of emotions and he grimaced. He didn't really want to feel their emotions. Didn't want to know what they thought about him or Rey and he certainly didn't want Rey picking up on said emotions either.

"No... it's fine. We're done." Ben knew that he had to get them both out of this room full of prying eyes. 

Sliding off the bench he reached down to lift Rey up against him and carry her out, because he could get them out much faster than she could walk with her much shorter legs.

"Where are we going?" Rey asked, not really seeming to be too thrilled with being man handled and squirmed to escape until he finally set her down. Independent little thing that she was she wanted to walk by herself.

"We have to go see Master Luke. He's going to teach you about what you're going to be learning here and how you have to behave... probably tell you no more biting..." He informed her, but was so caught up in Rey that he didn't notice the other group making their way down the hall.

Not until his shoulder was bumped harshly and he lifted his head with a scowl.

"Watch it, Solo!" Brendol Sindian. The last person that he wanted to run into right now. There was already an edge of aggression between the two, but when Rey was nearby that only made it that much worse... he felt that protective instinct burning inside of him again. He didn't want this person anywhere near her.

"Comeon, Rey..." He gently tried to urge her to keep walking, but then a shove at his shoulder had him snapping his gaze back towards Brendol.

"Are you going to apologize?" 

The nerve. No. He didn't want to apologize... he hadn't done anything. He just wanted to get Rey to her introduction. But... if he wanted that he knew he had to swallow his pride and that meant apologizing.

"Sorry..." 

"What's with the girl?" Brendol asked, crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down at her.

"New student." With that he was about to move past Brendol and get Rey where she needed to go, but again Brendol shoved him and he snapped, drew back a fist to strike out at him and he did managed to get him, but he never went anywhere without his little friends...

...and despite getting a decent hit in that stunned his nemesis and put him on the ground he still managed to get hit on both sides by those two... and they were shoving him back, he wasn't sure really what to do, but instinct to protect Rey kicked in and he was really fighting... he'd never fought like this before and it seemed that they knew it too, because they were really struggling against him this time.

"Ben!" Rey was scared now and that was the worst part of this.

"Get off me!" He snapped, but then realized that they were shoving him backwards towards the closet... "Don't you put me in there!"

The odds were three to one. He didn't stand a chance with all of them working against him and before he knew it he was shoved back hard into the back wall of the supply closet and the door was closed on him. Even worse he heard the panel outside shatter and knew they had broken it to lock him in.

"Let Ben go!!" Rey valiantly beat her fists against the leg of the nearest student and kicked and did everything she could, but they just laughed at her. She was really too small to do anything.

"Would you look at this... Solo has a little cultist." Brendol snorted in amusement and easily held her back with one hand.

"Don't you hurt her!" Ben shouted, but it didn't matter. He was stuck... he couldn't get out and he couldn't do anything to help or protect her. That drove him nearly mad, but... it was then that he felt something behind him breathing down his neck and his hair stood on end. There was something in here with him... something in the shadows. He banged a fist on the door even harder. "Open the door! There's something in here!"

A searing pain down his back had him crying out in agony. Brendol and his companions only looked at one another and then burst into laughter. They weren't taking it seriously at all. Had no idea.

"Solo is still scared of the dark!" 

Except Rey had gone very still and felt something dark and scary lurking in there... something... inky. Cold. She concluded that there really was something and ran to the door, tried to figure out how to open it and much to the surprise of the older students began to work with the wires that hung out of the broken panel. If she had learned a thing or two on Jakku it was how to work a door open to get to the scrap that was hidden on the other side.  
  
Her brow set in determination. If they wouldn't save Ben then she would.

"What's going on here?" Lor San Tekka made his way down the hallway quickly towards them. His first action was to grab Rey away from the door for fear she would be electrocuted fiddling around with it with it like that. "The three of you go to Luke's office. Now!"

Lor San Tekka took charge of the situation and called a nearby droid over to get the door open safely. Rey was certain she could do it faster, but Tekka had no intention of letting her go. The very moment that the door was open Ben fell out and Tekka quickly caught him into his arms before he could hit the hard floor.

"There... there was something in there..." He breathed, clutching onto Tekka.

"It's just an empty supply closet. You're alright, Ben.." 

"There really was a monster..." Rey spoke up with a gasp, gesturing towards Ben's back and Tekka placed a hand on Ben's shoulder, turned him around to find his robes shredded all the way down his back from top to bottom. Long claw like marks. Deep and painful.

A moment of silence passed before Tekka made his way into the supply closet and began to look around, but after a moment came out with some old, sharp and broken pieces of a training droid.

"Look, Ben. No monster. You must have brushed up against this."

"No. You have to believe me... there was something in there..." No matter what anyone said, Ben knew for certain that something had been in there with him. It was that creature from his nightmares. The one that lurked in his bedroom at night.

"I'll explain what happened to Luke. I want you go to the infirmary and have those taken care of." Tekka's voice made it clear that he didn't believe Ben and then held out a hand to Rey. "Little miss come along."

Except Rey had already made up her mind. She quickly grabbed onto Ben's hand and refused to leave him. It was something that nearly brought tears to his eyes, because it was the first time that someone had ever chosen him. Had ever chosen to stay by his side... and the first time that someone had ever believed him without a doubt.

"I'm going with Ben." It was stubborn. Defiant. Rey tilted her little chin up towards Lor San Tekka to stare him down and dared him to make her leave Ben's side.

"Very well." Tekka sighed. "But you will have to bring her to her introductory classes later."

He was surprise that Tekka allowed it, because Tekka was a hard teacher. He didn't really go easy on anyone and he almost felt sorry for Brendol and his followers... _almost_. Right now however he needed to get these taken care of... and hoped that perhaps the droid could confirm what had really happened to him in there.

The walk was long and in silence and when he arrived the droid demanded he sit and let him take care of it. So while the droid prepared he slowly removed the torn up, bloodied robes and set them aside.

Rey took interest and looked them over carefully. 

"Do they hurt...?" She reached a hand out, but didn't dare touch them.

"Yeah..." He was honest with her, because she was the last one that he ever wanted to lie to. His mind was still reeling over the fact that someone believed in him.

The droid approached him with a painful injection near each one and then began to work on stitching them up because they were too deep for a simple bandage. This was the part that Rey paled at and looked away from.

"Ben... can I sleep with you again tonight?" She was afraid of that monster hurting him again... and after last night didn't really want to go back to sleeping alone again. "If we're together the monster can't hurt us, right?"

"Ah... I don't think it wants you..." And he hesitated, because he shouldn't tell her yes, but he didn't like the idea of being without her either. "Just for tonight... we can't make a habit of it, alright?"

"Fine." Rey huffed out, crossing her arms over her chest with her cheeks puffed out indignantly. The sight prompted him to smile and he reached a hand out again which she took without hesitation. 

"Thank you, Rey..." He wanted to express more than anything how grateful he was for her kindness towards him and he hoped that she truly understood the depths of it.

"You're welcome." Leaning forward she hugged him tightly around his arm, carefully avoiding his back while the droid worked.

The gentle, kind hug was enough to let him know that everything was alright now, but still Ben was filled with fear and uncertainty about the future because he knew that the monster was real and that it was very angry with him. Even if nobody except Rey believed him it was most definitely there... and it wanted to hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hate everything I write. It's never good enough. I'm sorry for these abominations I put forth into the world. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	5. Chapter 5

Introductory classes made everything seem like they were going to be fun and exciting, but Rey found that when it really came down to learning how to be a Jedi... it was actually really boring.

Meditating and moving rocks were not the amazing Jedi skills that she had been promised in the introductory classes. It left her feeling extremely frustrated and impatient. On Jakku there wasn't time to just sit around and meditate. She needed to be working on something worthwhile not this.

Rey felt Ben's amusement before she peeked an eye open and glanced over to see it on his face. It was always strange, because she knew his emotions perhaps as well as she knew her own if not better. Though it still made her mad that he thought this situation was funny and so she hauled off and punched him in the thigh as hard as she could.

Ben doubled over in response and for just a moment she was afraid that she might not know her own strength and had actually hurt him... until she noticed his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. The jerk... how dare he not take her seriously? Didn't he know she had fought a sand panther off before? She punched him again with a little more strength and that only caused him to laugh harder.

"I haven't seen you laugh in ages." Luke Skywalker's voice cut through their failed attempt at meditation and Ben quickly straightened up, trying to get a handle on his laughter. 

"Master Skywalker." 

"How are things going?" Luke slowly moved to sit down in front of them in his own meditative position.

"Fine." Ben answered. "It's boring." Rey huffed out at the same time.

"Oh?" Luke raised a grey brow at her and offered her a kind smile instead of what she feared might happen. He didn't scold her. It was clear Luke was different from Plutt. "You will move on to higher learning eventually, but to get there you have to find your center first."

"He's right, Rey. I had to start exactly where you did." Ben did his best to make her understand and she supposed that in a way she did, but...

"On Jakku we can't just sit around..."

"Well it's a good thing you're not on Jakku anymore isn't it?" Luke kept that same smile on his face for a moment longer until he turned his attention to his nephew. "Ben... we should talk."

"Is... something wrong?" Ben straightened up some more and began to look nervous. He wasn't sure what to think of that expression. Any time someone said 'we should talk' it generally tended to be something serious. Worrisome.

"No. No not at all, but I do want to discuss this... thing... between the two of you." Luke gestured between Ben and Rey and she tilted her head to the side slightly as she tried to understand. "You're aware of a bond between a teacher and a student? This isn't. It's a very unique force bond. Neither Lor San nor I have ever seen anything quite like it. Physically you're two separate individuals, but when one looks through the Force... you're one."

Ben was silent for a moment or two. Looked down and took in all the information that he had been given, then nodded slowly, because in a way he understood. Even if it was still a bit confusing of a thing to put into words. 

"Uncle Luke... I wanted to ask about doing something special for Rey. A special meal maybe or... a birthday celebration." 

"Do we even know when her birthday is?" 

"Yes. The twenty first day of the second month."

"That's your birthday, Ben."

"You said it yourself. We're one in the force. I know what I felt. Something... changed on that day. Whatever was missing suddenly wasn't missing anymore." Ben breathed in deeply and looked up at Luke very seriously. "I want to give her everything."

"I see." Luke stroked his grey beard slowly, nodding in understanding. "We'll try to give her all the things she's missed out on, but you have to remember that the life of a Jedi isn't exactly one of luxury." 

"I know." There was a short moment of silence before he continued. "Besides... I always wanted a sibling."

Luke chuckled under his breath upon hearing his nephews words and then glancing over at Rey he gave her that smile of his.

"Well I always wanted a niece." 

The comments made Rey look down and smile to herself, because for the first time in her life she really felt like she was welcomed and wanted. Although the moment didn't last long. They were still in the middle of a meditation class after all and the academy never rested so when the knock came at the door both Ben and Luke straightened up and both seemed to be pretending that they were busy meditating as they were supposed to be.

"Luke?" Lor San Tekka entered the room. "You have two new arrivals."

"Of course." Luke started to stand. "Ben... this responsibility will be yours one day. Why don't you come along and see how it's done?"

Ben sighed and didn't exactly seem like he wanted to. He got up regardless and then gestured for Rey to come along. He never left her out of anything. Wherever he went she went. The more time they spent together it seemed the stronger their bond became. 

But keeping up with the grown ups wasn't very easy... and Ben didn't even need to look back to know that he had to stop and offer his arm out to help her climb up onto his back. Which she eagerly accept.

A ride on Ben's back happened to be one of her favorite things. He was so tall that she could see everything from up here.

"Who are the new students?" She questioned quietly, trying not to attract too much attention from Luke or Tekka. On Jakku it was never wise to attract too much attention.

"I dunno, kid. I guess we'll find out." 

Rey sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck as she peeked up over the top of his head to watch the shuttle that was landing. It was always a curious thing when new students arrived at the academy. Normally the other students would be eager to see who was coming into the academy, but lately Luke had been putting a stop to it so that new students didn't feel overwhelmed when entering a completely new environment. 

The ramp lowered and Poe slowly descended from it with two young students on either side of him.

"Master Skywalker." Poe greeted with his trademark grin. "This is Finn and Jannah. Your newest students."

As the two went on about the introductions Rey felt Ben tense up a little bit like he always did around Poe. She knew that Ben really didn't like Poe, but for more reasons than he said... she could always sense the jealousy and the hurt, because Poe was allowed to work at Ben's mother's side.

"Rey." Luke's voice caught her attention. "Why don't you show our new students around."

"Uncl-Master Luke..." Ben didn't sound very happy all of a sudden and she felt something like a dark cloud start to build around him. He really wasn't happy with the prospect of letting her out of his sight.

"Ben." Luke's tone mirrored his. "Let her have some room to grow and make new friends."

Huffing, Ben helped her to the ground as gently as he could, but took a knee in front of her to make certain she understood just how serious he was. "Just... stay within the academy grounds... don't wander outside of the perimeter. It's there for a reason." 

Behind them both Luke and Tekka were hiding their laughter in various ways. Luke was trying to pretend that he was rubbing his beard and Tekka was hiding his laughter behind a false cough.

"I'll be okay, Ben. I took care of myself all the time on Jakku." Rey wanted to assure him. She had never had anyone to watch over her on Jakku. Not the way that Ben did. Though as he started to stand she quickly stopped him by hugging him tightly around the middle.

She wanted Ben to know that even though she could take care of herself she loved and appreciated him. Although she missed her parents and was still waiting for them to return for her... Ben was everything she could have ever asked for.

It was nice to be taken care of for once. Especially being so used to taking care of herself for so long.

"Okay. You know how to find me." With that Ben did stand and returned to Luke and Tekka's side. After all Ben did have his own classes that he had to attend. She also sensed that Luke and Tekka were curious about the bond between them and wanted to ask him more questions.

"Play nice you three." Poe requested as he stepped back into the ship to start to unload some supplies. Mostly food. Food which Rey was really looking forward to getting her hands on later.

"I'm Jannah." The girl greeted first and seemed to be a genuinely kind person, but the boy seemed a bit more nervous to be here. "This is Finn."

"Rey." She tried to straighten up and take her responsibility of showing them around the academy. "I'll show you around like Master Luke said."

"Where are you from, Rey?"

"Jakku." She answered, starting to lead them off the landing pad and through the gardens first. She always loved all the colorful flowers here and she thought that perhaps these new students might find them just as beautiful as she did.

This was her first taste of responsibility here and Rey felt some pride that Master Luke was actually trusting her with this. She did her very best to do her job and show the new students everything that they were going to need to see and learn to live here.

What was more she found that she really enjoyed the company of children that were closer to her age. She did love spending time with Ben, but... he was older and grown ups were really boring sometimes. He didn't exactly play... he spent all his time studying.

Finn and Jannah however were interested in actually exploring and playing. They were actually taking her along in their exploration of this new planet that was going to be there home. She hadn't been left out like she usually was because all the kids her age were terrified of Ben and tended not to go near her.

They spent all day exploring, but finally they reached the perimeter... and Finn stepped over it because he wanted to explore the forest.

"Ben said not to leave the academy grounds." Rey felt a little bit nervous about disobeying the rules.

"It will be fine, Rey. Nobody will even notice we're gone." Jannah promised her. 

"We'll be back before they notice." Finn gave some more reassurance.

It was young curiosity that pushed her to join them on their forbidden journey. She had never been off academy grounds and Rey did want to see what it was like outside of the academy. After all she had only ever known sand before she came here. Never had any idea that there was so much green in the galaxy.

The jungle of Yavin was beautiful. Green. Full of life. Tall trees covered in vines and sometimes even flowers that seemed to be winding their way all the way up to the top and within those tree tops birds.

On Jakku the only birds were dark and mangy, but here there were the most beautifully colored birds. Hues of color like the rainbows that she had sometimes seen over the academy after it rained.

Even more amazing was all the water. There were endless streams and rivers. If the people on Jakku had just one stream or river then a lot less people would have died. It made her sad that everyone had to live there without water when it seemed so abundant here and on other planets. 

It wasn't fair.

"Wow... look at this..." Finn stopped in front of the big water fall that they had come across and then gave the biggest grin as he started to tug off his boots.

Jannah started to do the same, but of course Finn was away ahead of her and by the time he jumped in he slashed her with a bunch of water. Standing there socking wet she crossed her arms and Finn gave a sheepish smile in return.

Though this silent stand off didn't last long as Jannah was soon climbing into the water as well.

Rey didn't however. Instead she decided to continue to look around the forest and enjoy all the little details about it. The birds and flowing water seemed to create their own beautiful song together.

"Are you going to join us, Rey?" Jannah's voice caught her attention and it seemed they were both surprised that she hadn't joined in.

"I don't know how to swim." Rey admitted, curling in the fabric of her robes and fiddling with the edges.

"We can teach you." Finn offered, deliberately splashing Jannah in the back while her attention was on Rey which resulted in a battle of water. 

Although Rey did note that they were using the force to amplify their aim and power with the splashes. She knew that Luke would probably tell them not to use the force for such 'trivial things' as he put it.

A howl in the distance caught her attention. Birds fled the area in massive flocks and Rey started to get a bad feeling through the force. Whatever had made that sound was angry.

"We should go." Jannah was the first to speak and Finn's voice followed closely after.

"Good idea."

The howl grew closer and the sound of splintering wood echoed in the distance. Whatever happened to be out there was big and it was heading right towards them. The closer it got the bigger it sounded... branches breaking and bushes snapping until finally it broke through the clearing.

A boar-wolf. 

The second it's eyes landed on her Rey froze. This beast easily dwarfed her. Long gnarled tusks twisted up over it's snout. One lower tusk broken. A testament to the beast's aggression. 

"Rey!" Someone yelled her name. Finn or Jannah she didn't know.

The only thing that she was aware of was the beast kicking up dirt and charging straight for her. Making to take a step back a vine snagged her foot and she fell. There was no escape. Closing her eyes she prepared for the inevitable.

and... waited... 

but it didn't come. Instead Rey opened her eyes to see the boar-wolf frozen mid-charge. Looking to Finn and Jannah she expected one of them must have used the force, but they were just as stunned as she was.

It was only then did she realize through her terror that there was a familiar presence and she turned her head to find Ben there. His hand was out, but he was clearly struggling to hold the massive beast still... and she sensed... even startled himself. He'd never used this power before... never even known he had the ability until he saw the her life was in danger and reacted.

"I can't hold it forever! Get her out of here!" Ben demanded.

The next thing she knew her hand was being grabbed and she was being pulled away from the area, but just as she was she watched Ben lose his hold on the boar-wolf. The second it realized it was free the massive beast turned it's rage on Ben. The last thing she saw as she was being dragged away was the boar-wolf slamming into Ben and flinging him up into the air as if he were nothing.

"Let go!" Rey shouted, seeing that it was Finn that had jumped into action to get her and Jannah out. "I can run without you holding my hand!"

Except Rey really didn't want to run. She didn't want to leave Ben. She felt tinges of his pain through the force and she knew that she had to go back for him. The problem was that Finn had a strong grip and he was refusing to let go. So she did the thing that came most natural to her. She sank her teeth into Finn's hand. Prompting him to cry out and release her. The moment that she was free she turned back, but didn't make it that far.

Arms were going around her. She kicked and screamed, but soon realized that it was Tekka holding her and Luke was rushing past him in the direction of Ben and the boar-wolf. 

The fight went on in the distance. Screeches of rage and breaking of foliage... then finally... silence.

"Tekka!" Luke's voice called from the distance. "Poe! We need Poe!"

For a moment Rey thought that she was free and she was about to go to them, but her hand was taken again. It made her shoot a glare back at Finn.

"Stop taking my hand!" This time she stomped on his foot, because she was well aware that he was expecting another bite. Again she was free. Jannah did her best to try to catch her before she got to far, but if there was one thing Rey had learned to be good at on Jakku it was being able to get away.

Once she was running she couldn't stop. She knew that Finn and Jannah would catch her if she stopped so she ran as fast she could manage until he broke through into the clearing near the water fall.

The boar-wolf laid there un-moving. Luke must have dispatched the creature, because there were patches of singed fur. 

"Let me see it. Let me see." Luke's voice drew her attention from the creature and she realized that Luke was kneeling next to Ben, trying to pry his hands away from his face. "Ben, let me see it... "

Rey caught a glimpse of the injury when Ben dropped his hand away for Luke to see. His face was split in half right down to the bone. It made her shudder to see just how terrible it was, but what was worse than that was the fact that it was all her fault. She was the one that had allowed Finn and Jannah to leave. She was the one that went with them.

"Okay. You're going to need to put pressure on it." Luke quickly shrugged off his cloak and rolled it up to press against Ben's face.

There was fear in Luke's voice. If Luke was afraid... 

"Master Luke... I'm really sorry." Rey was afraid that Ben was going to die. Even worse was that if he did... it was all her fault. She had caused this.

"It's alright, Rey. Just stay there." Luke dropped his hands down to Ben's side and pulled the front of his robes open to try to figure out where most of the blood was coming from. The second the fabric fell aside the blood gushed forward from the gore wound and Luke quickly pressed his hands against it.

Time felt like it kept inching forward so very slowly. As if they were waiting for an eternity or if help was never going to come. Finally Poe and Tekka broke into the clearing with a hover-stretcher.

Poe let out a whistle. "Buddy, you really stepped in it this time. Comeon, let's get you up."

Rey watched the three of them helping Ben up onto the hover-stretcher and then carefully starting the journey back to the academy. Luke however placed blooded hands on his hips and sighed, giving her a look he then gesturing for her to come along with him. As she turned to go with Luke she spotted Finn and Jannah. They must have come after her and been there the entire time. She was just too distracted with worrying about Ben to have noticed.

She desperately wanted to ask about him. Had thought about asking several times, but she was too afraid of what the answer might be. What if Luke told her what she was most afraid he was going to say? That Ben wasn't going to be alright... that he was going to die and it was all her fault.

The walk back to the Academy was made even more shameful when she saw there was a crowd of students gathered.

As they passed through the groups they were whispering quietly among themselves, but then she passed one in particular... that other student that seemed to have a grudge against Ben.

"It's a shame that Boar-wolf didn't do us all a favor and finish him off. He has school slasher written all over him." Those words set her off and Rey couldn't help losing her temper... it was a clumsy attempt and use of the force, but it worked. She managed to trip Brendol. His friends that had been laughing at Ben a moment ago laughed at him instead and Rey felt pleased, but Brendol was on his feet in an instant, snarling and looking around. "Who did that?! Show yourself coward!"

Luke's hand came down on Rey's shoulder and urged her forward. "Rey... you need to control your temper."

"But he said-"

"I know what he said." Luke cut her off. "But when you react to these things you're giving power to them. I will handle it later."

Moving past the rest of the students and one very angry fool that had yet to realize that it was a mere child that had bested him. Luke continued to lead them to his office and that was the moment that all three of them dreaded... but there was no escape. The moment that they were inside and the door closed behind them it felt a bit like the sealing of a grave.   
  
Sighing Luke moved around to sit at his desk and gestured for them to do the same. Once they were seated the tension in the air only seemed to grow thicker.

"Are you going to kick us out?" Jannah found the bravery to speak up first, expressing her worst fear.

"No." Luke folded his hands and placed them on his desk. "But you made a decision to disobey the rules here. Do you have any idea how fortunate you are that Ben is bonded to Rey? If he hadn't caught on to what the three of you were up to he wouldn't have made it in time. You could have been killed."

"We never meant for anyone to get hurt." Finn spoke up.

"No. Of course not, but someone did get hurt and it could have been much worse." Luke continued on. "When an adult gives you a rule... it's given to you for a reason. We know what is not and what is dangerous. We give you rules because we don't want you getting hurt. So the next time you're given a rule I expect you to learn from this experience and obey."

"You're not going to punish us?" Jannah asked cautiously.

"Oh, no. You are going to be punished. You're going to have cleaning duty until I decide otherwise." 

"I want to see Ben." Rey finally found her voice once she realized that Luke wasn't going to hit them like Plutt or kick them out.

At first the way Luke looked at her she wondered if she wasn't going to be allowed to see him, but finally Luke nodded and gestured with his hand for her to go ahead. "I'll allow it, but I expect you back to join Finn and Jannah for cleaning duty."

To Rey it felt like she was getting off easy with something so simple as cleaning duty. She hadn't been hit. She hadn't lost her eating privilege... and she was allowed to see Ben and make sure that he was going to be alright.

The medbay was quiet. Empty for the most part. When she peeked through the Transparisteel she noticed Ben lightly scratching at the dark black stitching bandage down Ben's face and the med-droid promptly zapping his hand and scolding him not to scratch at it.  
  
There was a moment. A beat in the force and Ben paused in snapping at the droid to glance over at her in surprise. His attitude changed completely. Where she expected to find anger she only found that usual soft feeling that he had for her. So she took a deep breath and then stepped into the room and approached him slowly. She was waiting for him to scream at her for ruining his face. Instead she was met with silence. It was worse than him yelling at her.

"I'm sorry Ben... I'm really sorry..." Rey's voice finally broke and finally Ben glanced at her with something akin to shock. "Your face is ruined forever because of me."

"What? Rey... no." Ben straightened up and held his hand out to help her up onto the bed beside him and the moment she was up she quickly wrapped her arms around him. "My face wasn't much to look at in the first place. Nothing is ruined."

"I like your face." She informed meekly, burying her face in his chest and holding onto him tighter.

"You know... I'm going to be a Jedi some day. Eventually we're going to get hurt. This was bound to happen. Losing a limb or two is also a very real possibility that we're going to have to face." He rationalized for her and she pulled back to look into his eyes to see the sincerity there. "And besides... now we match."

As he said that last part he gently reached out to brush a thumb over that tiny scar on her cheek, causing her to squint one eye and tilt her head a bit because as soon as he did he caught a flash of how it happened. A tiny girl... too terrified to crawl into the dark, scary vent and retrieve the part that Unkar Plutt was too big to fit in and get. For punishment Plutt threw a wrench at the child's face.

"We do..." Rey thought it was a bit funny in a way. Hers was a lot smaller, but... it was on the same side that his was on.

"I'm sorry he hurt you like that. I wish I had found you sooner." He pulled her in for another hug as if he could make up for it.

"Me too." Life would have been so much easier if he had brought her here much sooner. Now at least she could wait for her parents in a safe place where there was plenty of food.

"Before we even met... I missed you more than anyone I've known." He confessed this quietly. "So no matter what happens to me... nothing could ever be more painful than missing you."

Sighing softly he hugged her even tighter to his chest. These moments were theirs. Even after what had happened nothing had changed. He didn't hate her. 

"Ben Solo!" A voice called out and he jumped slightly, not expecting the others that had come through the door.

"Tai..." Ben greeted, gently curling an arm around Rey instinctively to protect her. It wasn't like he thought they were going to do any harm, but it wasn't something that he could help. Not... that the entire academy wasn't used to it anyways.

"I heard you're a hero." Tai stated proudly as he approached with his companions Hennix and Voe. " _Again_. You seem to have a real knack for it."

"I'm not a hero." Ben brushed off the hero comment once again. "It wasn't very hero like when I wanted to punch that Finn kid in the face for dragging Rey out there."

Tai snorted when Ben said it and crossed his arms. "No I guess not."

"Finn and Jannah didn't make me go. I wanted to see the pretty forest." Rey admitted, knowing that it wasn't fair that Ben blamed them.

"Did you have lunch?" Tai asked and Ben shook his head. "Well let's get lunch together."

"That sounds great." Rey spoke up, speaking before Ben even had a chance to open his mouth and say no. 

"Great!" Tai clapped his hands together.

"I can't even walk... you can go without me." 

"No problem, Solo." Hennix grabbed one of the hoverchairs and Ben shook his head vehemently the moment that he saw it. 

"No... no way." If there was one thing he didn't want it was to rely on something like that. It would make him feel weak.

"You don't want Rey to go hungry do you, Ben?" Tai prodded and used Rey as a weakness of his, leaving Ben sputtering and then finally gritting his teeth and crossing his arms over his chest.

The topper was when Rey gave him those pleading puppy eyes and his resolve melted. It was a checkmate.

"Okay... alright. Fine." Ben huffed.

Hennix pushed the chair towards him then he and Tai helped to lift Ben into it to get him mobile again. Though he let out a string of curses under his breath when one of them bumped into that wound on his thigh by mistake in the process of moving him.

But once he was properly seated Ben held out a hand for Rey and let her hop up into his lap for a ride along with him. A little more cautious about seating her more towards the uninjured leg.

"You've been pulling a lot of these 'hero' stunts. Maybe you should be more careful." Voe commented, but the jealousy in her voice was clear when she spoke for the first time. 

He breathed in deeply and glanced in another direction. He wished that Voe wasn't so jealous of his skills in the force. The irony was that he didn't even want them.

"Hey, Rey..." Tai quickly butted in, trying to cut the tension. "Has Ben ever told you his full name?"

"Don't you dare!" Ben's voice rose in pitch in a funny way and it made Rey giggle slightly, trying to hide it behind her hand. 

"The Prince of Alderaan's full title is Ben Amidala Naberrie Skywalker Organa Solo." Tai said it in the most dramatic tone that he could manage, waving a hand through the air as he said it and making Rey laugh again.

"I'm not a prince, Tai." Ben ran a hand through his hair with yet another sigh. "Alderaan is a dead planet."

"You kind of are. Your mother is still a Princess." 

"How come you never told me you were a Prince, Ben?" Rey was asking him now and Ben gave Tai another glare for giving him a difficult subject to explain to her, but Tai was merciful and elbowed Hennix.

Ben smiled slightly when he realized that he was going to help him out.

"How about we see how fast this thing goes?" Tai asked.

Ben's smiled faded as quickly as it had appeared and his eyes widened comically. "What?!" "Yes!" Rey cheered at the same time.

"Alright, Hennix hit it!"

Hennix took a deep breath then bolted with the chair, prompting Tai and Voe to rush after him and try to keep up with Ben cursing and Rey laughing the entire way down the hall.

As they zoomed by one corridor in particular Luke Skywalker and Lor San Tekka both raised brows as they saw them going by. Tekka pressed a hand over his eyes and sighed in frustration, but Luke clapped a hand over his shoulder.

"Let's let them have their fun. We can't be serious all the time." Luke supplied, happy to see that for once despite him feigning that he was upset his nephew was having fun with his friends. He needed this. Rey needed it. 

So just this once... he would overlook the no running in the halls rule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to find an excuse to give Ben his scar and have Rey be inadvertently responsible to sort of stick to canon. I was upset that they removed it in TROS because it was a nice little link to Anakin. I am sticking to canon as much as an AU can, but at the same time I will be using the EU as well. (after all Disney doesn't care about canon) I will also have various nods to the Ewok movies.
> 
> Here the ages (yes,canon) for anyone interested.
> 
> Born 2 ABY: Poe age 19  
> Born 5 ABY: Ben age 16  
> Born 6 ABY: Paige age 15  
> Born 11 ABY: Finn/Rose age 10  
> Born 13 ABY: Kaydel Ko Connix/Jannah age 8  
> Born 15 ABY: Rey age 6


	6. Chapter 6

The flowers were so colorful in the gardens this year. Lately Luke had been adding more and if she thought the gardens had been beautiful before then it was nothing compared to what they looked like now. It was like something from a fairy tale and it absolutely bursting with life. Her connection to The Force connected her to the life all around her. Every tree, every plant and flower.  
  
The cool breeze rolling in off the lake stirred up the small golden specks of pollen and leaves alike really brought to mind just how filled with life this whole world was. After spending so much of her life on Jakku sometimes it still surprised her.

Today Rey was exploring the other young padawans. Master Luke and Lor San Tekka made her start taking classes with students her age insisted that she needed to learn how to have her own life outside of Ben. So they were on their own little adventure while Master Luke was in a meeting with the older students.  
  
But then a familiar presence near by caught her attention. She glanced up to see Ben pass by the gardens towards the meeting room. She wanted to see him today, but he was in such a rush she knew better then to approach him. The other children all froze when Ben passed by, because they all feared him like the rest of the students. His temper was very well known to everyone here.  
  
"Rey, how can you stand to room with Ben? He's so scary..." Jannah mentioned quietly, rubbing her arms while she spoke as if she suddenly had the chills.  
  
"Ben isn't scary, Jannah. Even though he looks grumpy all the time... he's actually really nice." Rey responded with a faint smile, because just the thought of Ben was enough to make her smile. Her rock. Her protector.

They didn't know Ben. Not like she did. They didn't see his little acts of kindness nor had they seen him the other day in the gardens when he freed a blue butterfly from a spider's web when he had thought that nobody was watching him.   
  
"He's only nice to you. If it's anyone else he's mean." Finn butted in.  
  
"But he's nice to Rey. Isn't that what matters?" Jannah questioned, crossing her arms over her chest at his outburst.

"She's only saying that because she's in love with him!" Finn shouted back.  
  
"I am not!" Rey frowned at their words. What did they know?  
  
"Finn you're just saying that because you love, Rey!" Jannah shot back and the boy's face turned beat red.  
  
"That's a lie! Ben Solo is a creep and everyone knows it. Rey shouldn't be spending so much time with someone like him." He defended.

"You sound jealous." Jannah's tone sounded smug all of a sudden. Finn's outburst had simply proved her point.  
  
A throat cleared and the students glanced up to find Master Skywalker and Ben standing there before them. They exchanged glances and then Ben glanced off to the side, with a very distinct feeling of guilt tugging at their bond.  
  
"M-Master Skywalker... I... thought there was a meeting." Finn wheezed out.  
  
"Oh, but there was." Luke began, barely maintaining his stoic expression. "It's over now. I just hope my young students haven't been fighting?"  
  
"No! Never!" The young padawan tried to worm his way out of the hole he had dug... and Luke was unable to keep his straight face anymore and a smile broke out as he chuckled lightly and patted the boy's head.  
  
"You have much to learn." Then he turned his attention to Rey. "Rey, come along. We have something to discuss."  
  
Luke and Ben started to head off in the direction of the lake leaving Rey in a hurry to catch up with their longer strides. It was easier to catch up with Ben because he always stayed a respectful pace behind his Master. 

When she finally manage to catch up Ben glanced at her with a faint smile and held a hand out for her. She started to reach out for it, instinctively, but then she remembered what the other students said and she quickly retracted to keep to herself while they were still within the other students line of sight.  
  
She didn't want the other students to see and end up giving them more ammunition against Ben, but the moment she saw the hurt expression cross his features she immediately regretted it. She felt his pain as clearly as she might feel her own at the rejection.

When his hand dropped back at his side limply and he looked away again she realized fairly quickly that she had made a mistake. 

"Rey, as you know we just returned from a meeting." Luke stated very matter-of-factly. "Did you know what the meeting was about?"  
  
"No, Master Luke." Rey tore her gaze from Ben and over towards Luke.  
  
"As you know Ben and his classmates are finally eighteen. Soon they're going to become Jedi... and although you can't participate Ben and I wanted to know if you would like to come along?"  
  
"Can I really come with?"  
  
"You can."  
  
"I would love to." Rey answered except once she said it she suddenly wondered if that was even a good idea anymore.

Luke had said that Ben also wanted her to come along, but she was certain that she had just hurt his feelings. Maybe he wouldn't want her to come along anymore? Reaching out with the force wouldn't work. He had cut her off so instead she glanced at his face and tried to figure out if he was upset with her or not, but he had the same deadpan expression he always wore when he was hiding his thoughts. He was too hard to read when he did that.  
  
"It will be a long, cold journey. You're going to need to prepare yourself." Luke informed. "Go pack some warm clothing. Ben and I still have things to discuss in the meantime."  
  


* * *

  
Her things were packed and by the time that she reached the ship she noticed that the older students that would become Jedi were all already gathered in front of the ship where Luke stood.  
  
"You are all here today, because I have decided that it is time for you to take the first step in becoming Jedi. This trial is called The Gathering. It is a very important Jedi rite of passage. We will be traveling to the planet Ilum." Luke informed them. "The Jedi of old would endure this struggle at younger age, but I made the decision to wait a little longer for this particular class."  
  
"Because of Ben." One student scoffed quietly and Luke did not look at nor acknowledge the one who made the comment. He merely acted as if it had never been said at all.  
  
"Have you all made sure to pack everything you will require for a long trip?" Luke asked and everyone muttered their affirmation. "Very well. Let us be on our way then shall we?"  
  
Again Ben distanced himself from everyone and boarded the ship to find a seat that was far away from everyone else as he could possibly manage. Not that it mattered. Nobody would dare sit next to him, but that suited him just fine.

Rey noticed that everyone had paired up together and there he was left sitting alone again just as he always was. One might think that being the nephew of Luke Skywalker would be a positive thing that would earn you respect, but it turned out it was the exact opposite. The others were jealous of him and so they treated him like an outcast and as he grew older and more skilled it only became worse for him.

She had never really understood it before, but a she grew older she saw it more and more for what it really was. Jealousy was a powerful thing it seemed. Jealous and fear.  
  
Luke's hands were tied, because if he were to say something then it would be considered favoritism among the other students and make things even worse for Ben. They already thought that Luke loved Ben the most.  
  
The door slowly closed and sealed with a hiss and the ship jolted as it began it's liftoff. It had been a long time since she had traveled or been on a ship like this. She felt herself growing nervous. The last time she had been on a ship like this... her parents had left her. 

A lot of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings started to hit her all at once so she quickly took a seat next to Ben, but when she glanced up at his face she was met with an unfamiliar expression.  
  
"Why are you here? Go sit somewhere else." He insisted suddenly, folding his hands into his sleeves as he glanced out the window. Ben's words stunned her. He'd never asked her to sit somewhere else before. They were always together.  
  
"Why...?" She asked quietly, but she knew that it must be because of what happened earlier in front of the others. "Because I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."  
  
"What? No... you didn't hurt my feelings."  
  
"You're a liar." She frowned and watched his lips curl up into a scowl before he let out a low sigh then and shook his head, hair falling into his eyes to obscure his expression even further.  
  
"They were making fun of you, because you spent time with me. That is the truth is it not?"  
  
"But... I don't care."  
  
"Don't you?" He raised a brow at her, clearly doubting her words.

"I didn't hold your hand because they were being mean to you. I don't want them to be mean to you, Ben. It's not fair." Rey tried to explain it to him.

"I care." His voice lowered even further. "Your reputation isn't... it isn't worth it. I don't want you to have live like I have. It's time that you start to separate yourself from me. You have to grow up some day... and I might not always be around."  
  
He might not always be around? What did that mean? The tone in his voice and the way that he said it sent an uncomfortable chill down her spine.  
  
"Are you going away, Ben?" She reached out and grabbed onto his robes as if she could hold him here and stop him from leaving just like her parents. "Are you going to leave me too?"

As her voice broke so did his heart. It was nearly unbearable to feel the fear and the pain when he himself understood it so well. It passed between the bond before either of them could do anything about it.  
  
"No, Rey. I'm not... I'm not leaving you, but when I become a Jedi... they're going to send me on my own missions. I'll have to be away from the academy sometimes. It doesn't mean I won't come back to you every time." Despite it going against his better judgment he reached out and pulled her closer in attempts to comfort her. Only a few students actually paid enough attention to sneer at him. "You should rest. We have a long flight ahead of us."  
  
"I can't..." Rey felt that there was no way she could sleep when she had so many feelings and emotions being on a ship again. "Could you... read to me?"

"Yeah, kid... I can do that." Ben reached around for his pack and dug through it until he found a suitable Mandalorian poem.

Study of Mandalorian poetry was required for Padawans at the Jedi academy and so Ben was fluent in it and often read poetry to her. She however was still learning. It didn't matter of course. It wasn't particularly the words, but merely the sound of his voice. He could be reading anything and it would still have the same effect.

Rey made herself more comfortable, rested her head against his chest where she could hear the steady beat of his heart and the feel deep, soothing rumble of his voice in his chest. From there it didn't take long for her to fall asleep against him as he read. Even as she faded she knew through the bond his thoughts... that he would always keep her safe like this and he would never let go, never let anything harm her.  
  


* * *

  
Rey woke with a jolt as the ship jerked hard while it began it's shuddering descent onto the planet below. She sat up, frantically looking around in fear until she turned and finally met with an inquisitively raised brow. For just a moment she had been afraid that he wouldn't be there.  
  
"What's the matter, kid?"  
  
"I was afraid... that maybe you would be gone... when I woke up..." She answered, lightly twisting her fingers in the cloth of his robes until he leaned his face in closer to hers and stared at her for the longest time. As if he was looking for the answer in her face.  
  
"Where did you think I would go?" His tone was quiet, soft. Something that he reserved especially for her. "Rey... I'll always be with you. Even when I'm not here."

A shout caught their attention and both took notice of all the students gathering over at the window on the other side of the ship. Everyone seemed shocked by whatever it was that they were seeing.

"Master Luke... what happened to this planet?" Tai questioned.

"The Empire exploited this planet to create their weapons. Though they're gone now what they did has left it's mark." Luke slowly placed a hand on Tai's shoulder and urged the rest of the students away from the window. "Don't worry... it won't affect our mission here."

As the others moved from the window Rey made her way towards it to peek out as they were slowly lowering closer and closer to the ground. It shocked her to see the massive scar running along the surface of the planet as far as the eye could see.

"It looks like they mined around the entire planet." Ben mused as he approached from behind her to get a look at whatever it was that had stunned everyone. "Monsters..."

Sighing he nodded towards where Luke was making his way out of the front and regrouping with the rest of the students. They couldn't stay here staring or they were going to get left behind.

As soon as the door lowered and they were met with a freezing blast of wind and ice, but Luke showed no hesitation and started forward out into the freeze which urged his students to follow along with him.   
  
This planet was a vast difference from the jungle planet with vast waters that Rey had come to know as her home. It was absolutely freezing, but at the same time the soft, white flakes were the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She took one step off the landing ramp and disappeared down into the white. 

Ben halted and glanced back, lips twitching just faintly as a faint sound escaped him. He held his breath and barely halted the laughter that wanted to escape him as he started towards the place he last saw Rey and reached his hand down to help her out of the deep snow that went over the short girl's head.  
  
She glanced up at him and grabbed onto his hand and allowed him to pull her out and lift her up onto his shoulders. The snow was much too deep for her to get through. Even the older students struggles to get through, but Ben was taller and he had an easier time for once. 

She found her knew vantage point to be interesting and tried to take in all the sites she could from up here. Still there was not much to see but white until they arrived at what seemed to be a barrier. A wall.

She giggled quietly and wrapped her arms around his neck to hold on as he made his way down the ramp onto the snowy ground.  
  
"You're like a tuantaun, Ben. I can see everything from up here."  
  
"Tsk." He scoffed, but even despite feigning annoyance he still smiled slightly. "I'm a smelly lizard am I?"  
  
"Yup." She rested her chin upon the top of his head as she spoke and wrapped her arms more tightly around him.

"You had better hold on." Once they were past the huge snow drift Ben picked up his pace to a sprint to catch up with the others, leaving Rey to burst out into laughter.

The other students gave them both looks. Didn't really say too much about it, but it was clear that they thought the display was childish. Luke however smiled and shook his head, allowing them go on as they were.

Up ahead of them Tai seemed to slow down a little bit so that he could wait for them to catch up. Tai tended to be nicer than the other students... as with Hennix and Voe, but Rey knew that Ben didn't really consider them to be close friends.

"Ben, why don't you spend time with them? Master Luke always says that we need friends our own age." She asked quietly and heard his heavy sigh in response to the question.

"They keep telling me they know me. No one does." 

"But I do." Rey insisted and she felt him falter in his step until he caught himself without falling and dropping them both down into the snow.

"Yeah... yeah, you do." 

They continued on through the cold for a while longer until they reached what seemed to be a dead end. A massive wall of ice. Something that looked to be an impenetrable fortress that they would never be able to get past.

Nobody seemed to know what to do, but the smile on Luke's face gave away the fact that he knew very well how to solve this problem.  
  
"It seems impossible doesn't it?" Luke looked between his students, waited to see if anyone had an answer. "We must use The Force. All of us. Together."

As Luke spoke Ben slowly lowered Rey down, removed his cloak and wrapped it around her to insure that she was warm enough. Once he felt she was warm and secure he held out a gloved hand towards the wall to link his focus with the others. 

The students made an attempt to work together. A rumble or a hum of the force echoed through the air around them. A low sound under the howling wind.

But nothing happened and Ben's frustration was palpable.

The problem was that none of the students were in sync with one another. Some of the ice cracked and some snow fell, but whatever Luke had been expecting them to achieve they were unable to which left the greying master sighing in disappointment.

"Alright... everyone step back." Luke took a deep breath, held out his hand and then the icy wall started to crack until it shattered and revealed an entrance into a deep, vast cave system that ran beneath the surface of the planet. "We'll work on the team part later."  
  
He gestured for his students to come along as they entered into the hidden Jedi Temple that laid buried under the ice. 

The inside of the temple was more beautifully crafted than any of them had expected. Intricate carvings in the stone walls that went up and up. On either side of the room stood the remnants of statues of Jedi that once stood proudly at the entrance, but now were broken into pieces and on the ground.

"Animals." Ben breathed as he looked at what the Empire had done to this holy place. It was devastating to see such a beautiful place sacked.

Luke came to a halt in the middle of the room. From there he held a hand out to manipulate a small stone hatch to let in the light, which reflected off a massive crystal above them and met with a smaller one to hit another wall of ice that it began to melt almost instantly.

"This will be no easy task." Luke informed them all, turning to his students once more. "You must descend into the catacombs of the crystal caves to find your kyber crystal which will become the heart of your lightsaber."  
  
"But, Master Luke how will we know which is ours?" Hennix asked.  
  
"You'll know." Luke responded.  
  
"Well let's go then!" Tai jumped the gun and Luke held a hand up to halt him from running straight in.  
  
"Ahh. Not so fast. I know you're eager to complete this rite of passage, but you must know something else. You only have one planetary rotation to find your crystal before the entrance to the cave freezes shut. If not... you'll be trapped until the next sunrise."  
  
Several students gave unsure glances and made a few whispered comments among one another. As if everyone was suddenly too fearful to go in despite how excited they had been to go before. That was until Ben stepped forward, prepared to face whatever was there in order to take the next step in becoming a Jedi. 

"We had better hurry then."

Rey however gave him a concerned look when he spoke. She didn't like the thought of him being trapped in there if he didn't make it out in time. Just the thought of Ben being trapped inside a cave without food or water was a terrifying thing.  
  
"May the Force be with you." Luke told them with a half smile as he stepped aside. 

Watching his students head into the caves on their own almost brought him to tears. Their first steps towards become Jedi. Finally the Jedi would return. A new age.  
  
"Master Luke what if they take too long?" Rey questioned as she glanced up at her master, but he merely smiled and took her small hand in his.  
  
"It's alright, Rey. I believe in them."  
  
"What is it like inside?"  
  
"The caves are sacred place where we must face what we fear the most. Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi."  
  
"But... what if Ben is too scared and he can't get out?"  
  
"Rey..." Luke took a knee and met her eyes. He was aware that perhaps he shouldn't tell her as she would one day have to take this test, but her bond with Ben made this test a little more complicated. He would instead consider it a lesson "It was a deception meant to further challenge them. That wall is only frozen water. You simply must have the willpower to push on even if it seems impossible. There is always a way out."  
  


* * *

  
  
Inside the students had come to a series of tunnels and not a single one of them knew which way they should go. It was dark and cold with that persistent, spooky sound of air winding through the tunnels like a whisper. The pressure was on with each student knowing that they didn't have the time to stand there and argue about which way they needed to go.  
  
"These caves could be tens of thousands of kilometers-deep. We'll never find our crystal in time. We need to go in groups of two for safety." Voe stated, taking charge of the group right away. "Hennix you're with me."  
  
"But... the numbers..." Tai said softly as he glanced at Ben, knowing that he wasn't going to have a partner if they did it like that, because the class had an uneven number.  
  
"It's fine." Ben responded absently as focused on one tunnel in particular that he felt called to him. It was a peculiar hum that seemed to echo and pull at him. "Just go."  
  
"Ben does it Solo." Hennix quipped, but in response Ben shot a sharp glare at Hennix that made him shut his mouth immediately and frown. "That usually makes you laugh."

Ben made a face, but didn't answer as he started down the tunnel to get as far away from the rest of the students as quickly as he could manage. They were simply irritants to him and he didn't need or want their help.

The walls were interesting. He noticed that they appeared to be a black volcanic rock-like rock. Stories had been recorded on these walls. Carved into it and he took the time to slowly peel his glove off and place it against the stone.

He would have to return and look more into the history recorded here. He already felt like he had been walking forever, navigating the winding tunnels, bottomless shafts and narrow corridors and he knew that he didn't have a lot of time.

He eventually came to a stop when the tunnel finally ended. It led into a larger chamber with high walls and ceilings... and to his luck a narrow icy bridge. There was something there on the other side. A distant glow that seemed to reach out towards him with invisible hands and pulled him forward. It had to be the crystal he was looking for, but crossing a bridge of ice was dangerous. One wrong move and he would be sent to the bottom. A fall that far wasn't one where survival was a likelihood.  
  
But what could he do though? Give up and return to Luke and all the other students so they could laugh at him and say 'I told you so'? Or was he going to attempt to make his way across and fall only to prove their point that way instead? It seemed either way he was risking failure and humiliation.  
  
He took a moment to deliberate and then after weighing his options he took a deep breath and started forward. There was no way he was going to give up to return empty handed. He would become a Jedi. He would prove to everyone that they were wrong about him.

Steeling himself he put one foot in front of the other, carefully, bringing his arms out on either side of him to try and balance himself as best he could. It was slippery, dangerous and he could fall at any moment. Or worst case scenario the ice could give away and all the balance in the world wouldn't help him then.

Making sure that he didn't look down he inched forward. One more step and he was half way there. 

So far so good.

However it seemed his thoughts jinxed him, because on the next step a chunk of ice broke beneath his foot, throwing him off. Inhaling sharply he flailed his arms frantically trying to regain his balance before he went over and ended up getting a good look at how far he was going to fall if he went down as he did.

Below there were sharp, jagged stalagmites that would insure that he wasn't going to survive if he fell.

His heart started to pound so hard that it hurt and a wave of nausea hit his stomach along with the worst case of vertigo he'd ever experienced when it occurred to him just how dangerous this was.

Somehow or another he managed to regain his balance and quickly brought his foot down past the broken piece and onto another to try and spread himself out more. He was lucky this piece didn't break too because he doubted he'd have been able to regain his balance twice.

Was Luke trying to kill his students?

Taking a breath he quickly started forward again and focused on the task ahead of him. The crack under his next step had him freezing up, but realizing that he wasn't going to make it moving so slowly along this icy ledge... he took a chance and jumped.

For a moment he wasn't sure if he was going to make it... and then he hit the ledge hard enough to knock whatever air remained in his lungs out of him. He quickly reached his hands up to scramble for something to grasp onto, but found the smooth stone lacking. Instead he managed to find a foothold to push himself up and over to safety.

The moment that he was on solid ground again he raised a hand to place over his heart in hopes that maybe he could calm the terrified pace that it had struck up at the prospect of falling to his death.

Exhaling slowly he turned onto his back and tilted his head back to take note of that faint glow in what appeared to be a stone alter surrounded in a low, rolling mist that stood intimidatingly tall before him. It was odd... he hadn't noticed from afar that it appeared to be an alter. It made him wonder what this room had been before.

He pushed himself up on shaky arms, managed to get himself back to his feet. Letting out a shaky breath he gave a brief glance behind him and confirmed he would not be going back. 

The entire bridge had collapsed. The only way was forward.

As he tried to figure out how he was going to get back there was a low rasp, a hiss that drew his attention. Rhythmic. Slow. It was all too familiar to him. He narrowed his eyes to try and search for the source, but it proved fruitless. 

He tried his best to ignore that creeping sensation that crawled up his spin and inched towards the stone alter where the glow emitted from. Mist swirled around his feet with each step he took and the rasping only seemed to grow louder the closer he got.  
  
"What are you?" He beseeched the darkness, but there was no answer there for him. Instead he scowled and reached his hand towards the alter to grab the crystal. Before he managed to take it there was a flash of red startled him, caused him to stumbled back and crash into the ground, narrowly avoiding the screeching red saber that nearly took his hand off.  
  
A man stood there before him. Tall. All in black. A face obscured by a mask. That same man from those nightmares that he awoke from screaming. The rasping hiss drew closer and he quickly scrambled backwards until he reached the edge of the drop off and found that he was left with nowhere else to go.  
  
"Stay away from me!" He brought up his hand up and used a force push to shove him back. It stunned the creature long enough that he was able to quickly rolled to the other side and behind the monster. However it recovered, turned towards him and slowly began to stalk towards him once more. "What are you!? What do you want from me!?"  
  
"Blood of my blood..." A raps and a hiss emitted from the shadow. "You only need to embrace me, Ben. I will make it all go away. All your fears and anxieties."  
  
"No... you're not real. You're just a nightmare." He shook his head inched backwards until finally his back hit the stone alter behind him and he was left with nowhere to go as the black mass closed in on him. Closing his eyes Ben forced himself to control his breathing and focus. "There is no emotion, there is peace."  
  
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion." The creature contradicted.  
  
"There is no ignorance, there is knowledge."  
  
"Through passion, I gain strength."  
  
"There is no passion, there is serenity." He continued, closing his eyes more tightly to block out the monster before him.  
  
"Through strength, I gain power." The creature insisted.  
  
"There is no chaos, there is harmony."  
  
"Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me." The creature because more insistent, seemingly frustrated that Ben still struggled to hold onto the Jedi code.  
  
"There is no death, there is The Force." Ben took a deep breath, held a hand out for another force push with all the power he could muster and then leapt over the top of the alter, snatching the crystal as he went.

When he came down on the other side, he pressed his back up against the cold stone and squeezed it in the palm of his hand, waited and listened.

There was silence on the other side. The rasping hiss was gone, but still he found himself waiting a little longer to be certain. Once he'd gathered his courage he carefully glanced over the top of the stone and found there was nothing there.  
  
What had that been? A trick of the cave perhaps? Something more sinister? But a thought far more terrifying struck him when he realized that if he didn't hurry then he would be stuck in here with that monster. He couldn't be trapped in here with that thing.  
  
He broke off into a sprint down the path behind the alter to try and re-link back to the main pathway so that he could escape before it was too late. 

The tunnels kept winding on and on. It seemed like it went on forever. As if he was never going to be able to find his way out. His heart began to pound again with the fear that he might be trapped in here with that creature, but finally, finally he recognized the main path and hurried towards it.

It seemed like he was home free. He breathed a sigh of relief, feeling that he was going to make out of here and away from that creature... until slammed so hard into his face from around the corner that it sent his world spinning, flipping upside down and then he was falling.

Falling until he finally felt the impact of the hard, cold of the ground under his back. For the second time the wind was knocked completely out of him and he found himself coughing in some desperate attempt to get some air into his lungs.  
  
Ben found himself completely reeling from the shock of it, wondering if maybe that creature had caught up to him. Until he looked up to find Brendol standing there looking down at him with his minions at his side.  
  
"You... you SON OF A BANTHA!" Ben shouted.  
  
"We heard you, Solo. Talking to yourself back there like you were insane. Do yourself a favor. Do all of us a favor. Make it easier on that girl too." Brendol stated.  
  
"You can't leave me down here!" He quickly glanced around and found no way out... and that thing. That thing was in here with him. He just knew it. He felt it. It was creeping down his spine. "Get me out! Don't leave me in here with it!"  
  
"Sorry, Solo, but you're too dangerous to let live. Everyone knows it. Even Master Luke knows it. The class will do better without you. We won't be held back anymore, because Luke has to fear what you'll do." Brendol backed up slowly and disappeared, leaving him completely alone.  
  
"Brendol! Brendol!" He choked as he felt the dark tendrils wrap around him, cling onto him and crawl over his skin.

As he inched backwards, his hand came into contact with something and to his utter horror he realized it was a human skull. A Jedi had died here. His fear began to intensify. His breathing and pulse rate picked up until he felt like he couldn't breathe at all.  
  
"Do you see, Ben? Do you see why you must embrace me? I am the only one who truly wants you. They have abandoned you. Betrayed you. Just as I was abandoned and betrayed by those I loved most." The hissing, rasping voice insisted. "Join me, Ben. Embrace the darkness. It will save you from this pit."  
  
It wasn't long before absolute fear took over and a pressure started to build up in the back of his skull... it started around the edges of his vision until everything faded into a dark and suffocating, inky black.  
  


* * *

  
  
Outside Luke awaited his students with a frown upon his face. He had sensed a great disturbance in The Force moments ago and now again. The students had mostly returned and when the final two arrived without Ben he narrowed his eyes at them. Those expressions on their faces... they were looks of deceit.  
  
"Where is Ben?" He asked sternly. Brendol met Luke's eyes with a lie already prepared, but his partner gave him away by casting his eyes down in shame. "What have you done...? What have you done?!"  
  
Every student was shocked by the tone that Luke took as they had never heard their Master raise his voice before. He had always been well mannered and calm, but now he was outraged.  
  
"Master Luke..." Rey grabbed him by the sleeve and pointed towards the door as it froze over solid. 

Brendol didn't look even slightly guilty. Instead a smile crossed his face as he watched the door freeze over to seal Ben's fate.

"What did you do to him?" Tai was the first one to step forward. "Master Luke we have to do something!"  
  
Luke however neither said nor did anything. Instead kept he kept his icy blue gaze locked upon the door that his nephew was sealed behind. The seconds ticked by as all the students watched with nervous eyes. All seemed lost and hopeless. The seconds turned into minutes and Luke prepared himself to go in if he must, but then there was a loud snap. A crack. 

The ice shattered and a shadow stepped through the foggy, broken ice. Luke let out a sigh of relief as he began to approach his nephew. At his side Rey made to brush past him to run straight to Ben, but Luke sensed something... something was wrong and his hands shot out to quickly grab Rey and hold her at his side.

"Master Luke...?" Rey looked utterly confused, but then... she sensed it too.  
  
The air was thick with the crackling energy of a Sith. Luke had only ever experienced this once and that was when he faced down the Emperor. He was close enough now to see Ben for what he was in this moment. The darkness inside of him, the darkness that had always been there... the darkness that they had all feared for so long had finally come out.  
  
It was Ben's eyes that gave him away. That sickly yellow, bordered by red. Those eyes flicked towards him and sent an uneasy chill down Luke's spine. Those were the eyes of a man consumed with hatred and rage. Those were the eyes of a Sith. Ben slowly took one step down the stairs, then another, but uneven as if he were groggy from sleep in the early hours of the morning.  
  
"Ben..." Luke began as calmly as he could, but Ben raised a hand and force pushed Luke back into one of the Jedi statues while he reached out with the other hand and Brendol was grasping at his at his throat, choking and gasping for air.  
  
There was no remorse. No mercy. Instead Ben tightened his hold on his enemy.  
  
"Ben!" Luke ignited his saber, realizing that he didn't have any other way to stop this. Ben wouldn't-or couldn't see reason. He was going to kill his classmate. His throat couldn't withstand that much pressure it would crush his trachea.  
  
At first she hadn't been sure how to react, but the whoosh of Luke's saber drew Rey's attention. What was Master Luke going to do? He wouldn't... kill Ben would he? But she saw that scary expression in his eyes too. He wasn't acting like Ben. Summoning up her bravery she did the only thing that she could.  
  
"Ben!" She crashed into his side and clutched desperately onto his robes. The spell was broken. It was like a cord snapped. The force hold on Brendol released and the coloring in Ben's eyes faded away.  
  
"Rey?" He didn't recall where he was or how he had even gotten back here, but why was everyone staring at him this way? Rey was still clinging tightly to his side. Her fear made him a little nervous himself. And then his uncle... what was he doing? His saber was out so there must be danger. "What happened?"  
  
"You don't remember?" Luke asked carefully, deactivating his saber and putting it away as he took a step closer to inspect his nephew closer, though still cautiously.  
  
"Remember what?" Ben asked confused at first, but then he suddenly came to his own conclusion. Rey's fear. His uncle's saber. "You... saw it too? Was it here? That thing in the caves?"  
  
"Thing?"  
  
"Yes... the... shadow... it..." He wasn't sure how to explain and Luke held a hand up to silence him.  
  
"We need to leave here now. There has been a great disturbance in The Force." Luke stated, ushering his students out of the caves.

As Luke saw to it that every last student made their way out and back on their way towards the ship he stopped and glanced back towards the cave entrance and narrowed his eyes. Was it a trick of the cave? A vergence in the Force?

Whatever it was... he needed to keep a close eye on Ben and Rey... and the darkness that they had both inherited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I told myself... at least Disney can't ruin Star Wars anymore... and then they decided to destroy Ilum. I stand corrected. Aside from killing Ben this is the second worst thing they could do. No more Jedi rites of passage. This is a cosmic crime. *sighs*
> 
> Ages  
> Born 2 ABY: Poe age 21  
> Born 5 ABY: Ben age 18  
> Born 6 ABY: Paige age 17  
> Born 11 ABY: Finn/Rose age 12  
> Born 13 ABY: Kaydel Ko Connix/Jannah age 10  
> Born 15 ABY: Rey age 8


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next few days Rey kept her eye on Ben, watched his face and his eyes. She was afraid that the warm umber may take on that terrible tainted glow again. Luke seemed to share her fears, because he had also taken to watching Ben much more closely. 

It didn't go unnoticed by Ben either. In fact he seemed to become increasingly frustrated by the fact that everyone seemed to trust him less since the incident on Ilum. He still didn't know what had happened exactly and Luke informed the other students that it was lingering spirits within the caverns that had caused the incident. That Jedi and Padawans had become forever lost within the caverns never to see the light of day again and sometimes their spirits lingered there.

While that may be true... somehow Rey had the feeling that Luke himself didn't believe it. Whatever it was that had crawled inside of his mind seemed to be that same inky black talon that she sensed haunting Ben's sleep sometimes. 

Sighing softly Rey cautiously reached a hand out to carefully pry his eye open and check the color once more. Still a warm, soothing color, but this seemed to stir him from his sleep... and Rey could sense the irritation radiating off of him.

"Rey... what... are you doing?" Ben clearly didn't appreciate his sleep being disturbed if the expression on his face was anything to go on.

"Nothing..." She knew she wasn't allowed to tell Ben why she was worried or what had happened. It didn't feel right. She wanted to tell him what happened, but if she did she was worried that he might turn into that again.

For now she settled on looking into his eyes and searching them for any traces of darkness, but they were the same as they always were. 

Ben sighed deeply as he crawled over her so that he could get out of bed and begin his day. It was days like this she wished he would just sleep on the other side, but Ben was afraid of the dark and he always had to sleep with his back to the wall. Which in turn meant that he always had to go around her to get out of bed.

Sitting up herself she yawned and watched as he lowered himself to the floor to begin his daily workout before he had to get to class. Every since what had happened Ben had decided that he was tired of people pushing him around... he'd been working very hard to build up his body so that he could protect himself and her.

She'd tried to workout with him, but he could always do way more than she could before she was exhausted.

After a moment or two of watching him do push-ups she smiled and took her time lining up the distance before she jumped onto his back. He grunted under the extra weight she put on him, just barely caught himself before he smashed his face into the floor...

"You're such a brat..." He muttered, although not without a hint of affection. It didn't stop him though. He simply just readjusted to continue his push-ups even with her added weight on his back as he always did.

"You said the extra weight helps." Rey countered and he was muttering again, but she didn't catch whatever it was this time.

Spreading herself out along his back she rested her head between his shoulders and wrapped her arms as far as she could reach around his chest... which admittedly wasn't far. Ben was massive and it seemed like he just got bigger all the time.

That was what he wanted of course. He wanted to be stronger. He wanted to be big enough that nobody could pick on him anymore and he wanted to be able to protect her. He worked out forever sometimes. If she was honest she was getting really bored. She wanted him to hurry and finish so that they could finally get something to eat. It didn't seem that would be happening any time soon so she looked to something else to occupy her mind.

"Ben?" 

"Hmm?"

"Can I see your kyber crystal?" She had wanted to see it before, but with everything that had happened she hadn't gotten the chance. He stashed it away and it hadn't been seen since then.

His push-ups halted and he carefully placed a hand on her arm to hold her in place so she wouldn't fall when he slowly sat up, lowered her to the ground and then reached for the small box up on his desk.

"Be careful with it..." He requested while he very slowly opened the box up and revealed the crystal.

It seemed so small for something so powerful, but Rey knew that his crystal had adhered to his soul and so to touch this would be like reaching out and touching his soul. It was why she was very gentle when she reached forward.

The oddest thing was that the crystal reacted to her the moment that she took it into her hand and even Ben seemed shocked by the sudden change when the scarlet red hue of the crystal started to bleed into a vivid violet.

"How did you..." Ben trailed as he reached to take it back and very gently turned it over in his hand to inspect the change that had occurred in it after Rey had touched it. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it." Rey panicked, because she feared that perhaps she had done something wrong or broken it in some way.

"No, no... it's alright. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just... unusual." He was quick to calm her down, reaching out to gently pat the top of her head and mussing up her hair. "Why don't we have breakfast and we'll speak with Luke after?"

She watched Ben stretch before he stood up and then headed into the 'fresher to shower away any sweat that he had worked up. It seemed that he really wasn't mad about what had happened with his crystal. He was acting completely normal... maybe happier even.

As Rey waited for her turn she decided that Ben was very odd. If someone had messed up the color on her lightsaber crystal she would have been upset about it.

Fortunately Ben wasn't in too long and once he was out she was able to take her turn getting ready for the day. 

Once they were both ready they headed out towards the mess hall. 

Every morning Ben always made a point to work around avoiding the other students so it was almost funny to watch the expression of irritation on Ben's face when Tai spotted them, waved and then made his way towards them.

"Ben, guess who's here." Tai slung his arm over Ben's shoulders and Rey had to try not to laugh at his scowl. "A particular supply delivery girl..."

"Paige is here?" Ben shrugged off Tai's arm and put some distance between them, but his expression immediately lightened up in that particular way that it always did when there was any mention of Paige Tico.

Rey watched the interactions between the two and wondered why Ben wasn't more open to Tai as a friend, becuase Tai was perhaps the kindest student in the academy. He never spoke badly of anyone and went out of his way to include Ben, but... Ben still kept his distance.   
  
She didn't have too much time to question it as they arrived in the messhall and she grabbed a trey with Ben while Tai rambled on about some new power that he was testing out and somehow or another they were roped into sitting with Tai and his friends. Hennix and Voe.

As they ate Ben did what he always did, scooped a little off his trey and placed it onto hers so that she would have plenty to eat. She thought that Ben did it out of habit now more than anything else... but this time... this time he was doing so absent mindedly.

One hand resting under his chin and the other continuing to pile his own food on Rey's side while he stared at Paige across the room. 

Tai and his friends all took notice of this, trying to keep their sniggering under control so as not to alert Ben and see how big the pile was going to grow before he realized what he was doing.

"Careful, Solo. Your crush is showing." Hennix teased and that was when Ben straightened up a little.

"You're one to talk, Hennix. At least I don't spend all day ogling a holocron of Jedi Avar Kriss." Ben was quick to try and take some of the pressure off himself, wiping a hand across his cheek in some feeble attempt to hide the tinge of red that had come over his face.

Hennix choked on a spoonful of food and then gasped, pointed said spoon at Ben and spoke up. "I do not ogle her!" 

At this however both Tai and Voe raised their brows and shared the same thought. "You ogle her."

A horrified gasp left the Quarren's mouth while Ben crossed his arms over his chest and smirked triumphantly when his point was proven by Hennix's own friends.

"Ben..." Rey nudged his elbow and then gestured towards her trey. The look on Ben's face almost made her laugh, because he clearly had no idea he'd been so distracted that he piled that much up.

"Sorry, Rey." He worked on trying to even it out a little bit, fix the mess that he'd made.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Tai asked.

"What do you mean?" Ben was more focused on taking care of Rey now than whatever feelings he might have for Paige. No matter what the other half of his heart would always take precedence over everything else in his life.

"I mean why don't you tell Paige that you have a crush on her?" Tai continued and that was when Ben sighed and glanced up at him. "Look how good you are with kids. Girls are crazy about that. Plus... you're Ben Amidala Naberrie Skywalker Organa Solo. Prince of Alderaan. No girl in their right mind would turn you down." 

"Stop..." Ben really hated hearing his full name.

"Please." Voe cut in. "No girl in her right mind would agree to going out with Solo. Not when he's going to be bringing his kid into the relationship."

"Paige isn't like that. She's the kindest, sweetest girl I've ever known... I think she would be alright with it... and Rey isn't my kid. It's a force bond. It's completely different." Ben quickly defended. He was sure Paige wouldn't mind Rey living with them if they ever had a future together... that was... if he could ever manage to work up the courage to say anything to her... and... if it wasn't against the rules. "It doesn't even matter... it's against the Jedi code."

"You wouldn't be the first to ignore the Jedi code." Tai mentioned, but then turned to Rey, because she had been oddly silent about the whole thing. "What about you, Rey? How would you feel about Paige becoming Ben's girlfriend?"

Rey however didn't answer, simply grabbed Ben's arm and held onto him, because the conversation bother her. Ben didn't belong to Paige because he was bonded to her. The force had tied them together so tightly that she couldn't imagine the idea of him ever being taken away from her... or worse... abandoning her for someone else. 

"But, Ben is mine... the Force decided that." 

There was an awkward silence among the group until Tai finally cleared his throat and tried to force a smile. 

"I guess Ben isn't the only one with a crush." Hennix laughed and it lightened the others up to laugh as well, but this comment really threw Ben off. His expression one of complete shock and disbelief.

"What are you talking about?" 

"Oh, come on, Ben." Now it was Tai's turn to give him a look of disbelief. "It's... pretty obvious."

"No." Ben shook his head. "We have a force bond. None of you have one so I know that you could never understand, but it's completely different. It's not a crush."

There was another silence and the three across the table all gave Ben that same exact look, but the standoff didn't last too long, because Luke and Tekka had come into the mess hall, prompting the room to go silent.

"Would those that attended The Gathering please come with me?" Luke requested, hands behind his back and a smile on his face.

The students gathered fairly quickly, because they were excited for whatever it was that their Master had planned for them so unexpectedly. It was almost a race between those graduating students that had them pushing to get past one another and find out what was so important that Luke Skywalker had come all the way here to get them instead of calling them to the meeting room.

As they followed Master Skywaker outside they noticed several massive shapes covered in tarps. 

Everyone waited on baited breath as Luke looked between his students, reached up to pull one tarp down to reveal a ship.

"Those that have attended The Gathering will be awarded their own ship. After all... my soon to be Jedi Knights will need some way to travel the galaxy." Luke spoke up loud enough for everyone to hear, was thrilled to see how his students had grown. He had been waiting a long time for this moment. "I'm proud of you all. You've come so far and achieved so much."

Tai and his friends looked extremely excited as they picked out the ship that they wanted for themselves... and then began to argue over the name of it.

Ben however stood off to the side and studied the ships, before he decided on one in particular that he felt he could work with.

"What do you think about this one, Rey?" He asked Rey first, because he intended for her to become his padawan. The ship would belong to her too. Although when no answer came her turned from the ship to her. "Rey?"

"Sorry. I was just thinking." She finally answered, but did end up looking over the ship and nodding, because if she was honest it was the one she would have picked too.

"Would you like to help me?" Ben picked up the paint bucket and then held out a brush to her. 

Rey reached out for the brush, glancing over at Tai and his friends to see what they were naming theirs. They were all laughing, having fun and splattering paint on one another as they worked on the lettering that spelled out 'The Verity'.

"What are you going to name it?" 

"Mmm..." Ben slowly paced along the side of the ship and considered what he felt fit not only the ship, but him on a personal level. "The Grimtaash."

"Grimtaash." Rey nodded as Ben opened up the paint and she dipped her brush into the can while Ben grabbed another one. 

She knew that Alderaanian legend. Ben had told her that story plenty of times before bed and explained how the spirit of the Molator Grimtaash protected the royal house of Alderaan with magic.

He also had a few sketches of Grimtaash in their room. Art and painting together was actually something that they did together often. Ben had noticed she was good at sketching whereas he practiced calligraphy and they built on their skills from there.

"You're quiet..." He noted quietly, but Rey decided that she didn't want to answer him and although he was worried Ben didn't push her when he knew that she didn't want to talk about it.

"Alright everyone... have you finished claiming your ship?" Lor San Tekka broke the concentrated silence. "It's time for you to construct your sabers."

That finally urged Rey to give Ben a concerned look. He didn't reveal anything as he made his way over to Tekka and both engaged in a quiet, discreet conversation before Ben returned to her side and gestured to the ship.

As the two of them stepped inside a silver droid came to life.

"Greetings! I am Geegee, human-cyborg relations." 

"Oh," Ben groaned at the sight of the droid. "Not another one of you."

"It was your mother's idea." Luke's voice cut in as he came up the ramp to join them inside the ship. "The Grimtaash, hm? Creative. What was it you wanted to speak with me about?"

"My lightsaber... or... more the crystal..." Ben reached into his robes and then pulled it out to show it to Luke. "When I gave it to Rey the color changed. Your lightsaber color didn't change when I... borrowed it."

"You mean when you stole it for your trip to Jakku?" Luke chuckled quietly as he reached out to take it in his hand, but the color didn't change. It remained the same. That meant that it wasn't the crystal itself. "I see. Ben... you don't just have a force bond with Rey."

"What do you mean?"

"Tekka and I suspected there was something much more to it, but I didn't have proof until now." Luke continued to explain. "You see... your crystal is an echo of your soul... so if Rey could change the crystal that belongs to yours... then her soul must be connected to yours."

"So then that feeling ten years ago..." 

"Was the other half of your soul coming into existence." Luke held out the crystal to Rey and it very clearly responded to her. "Two that are one."

The two shared a look, but still remained silent upon hearing this, because it was perhaps the strangest thing to hear.

"What does that mean for us?" Ben asked.

"I wish I could tell you, but I've never come across... anything like this." Luke answered him and then crossed his arms. "Get to work on that saber so that you don't need to 'borrow' mine again."

There were a lot of questions, but it was clear that neither of them were going to get the answers that they wanted. Nobody had the answers to give.

All that Ben could do now was focus on constructing his saber and he did got to work on it with the utmost care. It was crafted from the bottom of his heart. An extension of his soul... there were a few moments he was overly frustrated and Rey half thought he was going to trash the new droid, but he didn't. 

While Ben worked on his saber Luke instructed Rey to focus on her meditation so that she wouldn't distract Ben. It was a disappointment, because she had been looking forward to seeing how Ben constructed his saber.

After what felt like hours he managed to perfectly construct the hilt of his saber to the exact specifications that he wanted and finally placed the crystal into the center, closed it up and looked it over for a moment or two.  
  
Now was the moment of truth. Ben carefully and slowly stood up then held the saber out and hit the activator switch. There was a delay, a click, a hum and then entire saber exploded in a reddish orange huge with a few purple sparks, but not the way it was meant to. The power was too much, too overwhelming and the entire thing blew up on him and Ben cried out in pain as he dropped the saber.  
  
"Ben!" Luke called out. "Are you alright?"  
  
From her position Rey couldn't see the damage done, but at the same time she was frozen in place, unable to move as she was too afraid of what she would see if she did get closer. Ben dropped his arm to his side and she watched as Luke reached for it and held it up to inspect it. It could be worse. A piece of shrapnel from the saber embedded in the skin and a bit of a burn burn. Luke gripped a shard and ripped it free with a swift quick jerk.  
  
"I... did it wrong...?" Ben asked softly, the disappointment and defeat was clear in his voice.  
  
"You're unstable. I should have known better than to let you try to construct a saber before you learned balance. This is my fault not yours." Luke assured him as he grabbed his face and tilted it up to search for further damage. There was none. Ben had gotten very lucky. "Let's get a bacta patch on that burn."  
  
"Can I come?" Rey questioned.  
  
"No, Rey. You must finish your meditation." Luke responded as he urged Ben to come along with him, grabbing the charred and broken saber along the way.  
  
Rey huffed. It was frustrating that Luke treated her like a child and that she was not allowed to be with him. She did her best to focus on her meditation as he'd asked, but her thoughts were being sidetracked and she found that she could not find her peaceful state of mind no matter how hard she might try. Not when Ben was hurt.  
She decided to break the rules. Exiting the ship Rey returned to the temple to search for Ben and see to it that he was alright. She expected that he might be in the medbay, was about to reach out with the force, but it didn't take long to find out where he was if the loud crashes from their room happened to be any hint. 

She approached the door and carefully opened it to find their room in disarray. There was not a single thing in the room left un-turned, except the bed, but only because it was bolted down and he couldn't get it up if he tried.  
  
"Ben?" She stayed out of his way as she drew his attention, not because she was afraid, but rather because she wanted to stay out of the way of he lost his temper again and threw something. "Are you okay?"  
  
"No. Everything I do blows up in my face!" He shouted as he kicked the fallen chair across the room into the wall, effectively destroying the object beyond repair once and for all. He buried his face in his hand and dropped down to sit on the bed with a groan of despair. "You heard Luke... he said I'm too unbalance to even make a lightsaber. Everyone expects me to fail."  
  
"Not everyone. I believe in you." Rey said quietly and watched as he slowly lowered his hands and glanced at her. No yellow hatred. Just warm umber. He was still Ben.  
  
"You always believe in me... don't you?" He sighed quietly and glanced towards the broken saber among the mess in the room. "You should be meditating. Master Luke insisted."  
  
"I was worried about you."  
  
"Don't be." He patted the spot beside him. "Continue where you left off. I have work to do."  
  
With those words he began to clean up the mess that he had made as she found a comfortable spot on the bed to resume her meditation. It wasn't exactly easy, because every now and then she'd hear a small crash and a muttered curse under his breath, but she was the one that had come here and she would have to focus through it. 

Still it was worth it to be near him. There was another faint crash and another mumbled curse and she could barely contain her giggles of amusement. Ben wasn't Ben without his hair-trigger temper. She did however notice that his temper seemed to be worse after he had gone into that cave. She was hesitant about what she wanted to say, but she needed to know what had happened that day. The truth of it from Ben. Luke might not know that monster, but she did.

It was the same one in Ben's nightmares. That creepy black tendril that crawled around inside his mind sometimes when he slept. The same monster that had ripped his back open in the closet.   
  
"Ben... were you scared...? When you were trapped?"  
  
"...no.." He answered slowly. "I'm not afraid of anything."  
  
 _Liar._ She thought as she peeked an eye open and found he'd made some space so he could attempt to put his saber together again. It was once a fine silver, but now it was a charred black and a few pieces were missing. It was really in bad shape, but she was glad that he had not given up and was trying again despite that.  
  
"How will you fix it?"  
  
"I don't know yet..." He pressed his lips together in a thin line and took a moment to consider it. "It's unstable... there's too much pressure building up in the main chamber..."

"Can't you find a way to vent it?"

"What did you say?" He glanced back at her, somewhat startled, but...

"If you vent the excess pressure it should work, right?"

"Rey... you're a genius." He grabbed his tools and then quickly gathered a few select things and worked quickly to see if this idea was going to work. Rey tilted her head to the side as she watched him break into the sides.  
  
He made a few more adjustments to it and then made his way over to the door and outside.  
  
Rey jumped up and followed him to see if his idea was going to work. She really hoped that this would work out for him. Ben had already had too many bad things happen to him lately. He needed something good.  
  
"Be careful..."  
  
"Here goes nothing. Stay back." He held the saber out a good distance away from himself and turned his face away as he flipped the activation switch and the deep purple blade screeched to life and moments later the vents hissed to life and the excess power successfully vented out he sides rather than blowing up in his face.   
  
He quickly glanced towards the blade and took in the sight. He had finally done it. He had made his own blade. It worked. Though it was not the most elegant blade, with it's unstable, serrated appearance and cross-guard design it was still his... and partially Rey's, but he liked that.  
  
"You did it, Ben! I knew you could." She smiled towards him and watched as a weight was lifted off his shoulders. Soon he would be able to join the others in the knighting ceremony and it would be official.  
  
"I did it."  
  
There in front of the temple he saw Luke speaking with Lor San Tekka and the both of them were eyeing him from their perch upon the top of the steps where they could oversee all of the padawans constructing their sabers. Ben expectantly glanced up to Luke with a half smile upon his face. He had finally accomplished his goal.   
  
His uncle would finally be proud of him then wouldn't he? But that smile soon faded as he realized the look on Luke's face was not one of pride. It was one of fear. He lowered the saber and switched it off, expression growing more and more dejected by the minute.  
  
Rey herself frowned when she managed to feel a wave of the hurt Ben had experienced through the force. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to be afraid of him for something he hadn't done. She knew what they were worried about. She had overheard Lor San Tekka and Luke talking after the incident about the fear of Ben becoming like the Sith Lord Darth Vader.  
  
"Don't get too full of yourself, Solo. You're not the only one that can construct a lightsaber." Brendol Sindian approached them.

Rey tried to stay in-between the two rivals in hopes that maybe this wouldn't lead to a fight, but Sindian showed his disdain for her with a sneer as he shoved her aside out of his way, but he shoved just a bit too hard and Rey lost her balance...  
  
...and she was falling.  
  
"Rey!" Ben's rage was palpable. Seeing her shoved to the ground ignited his temper as well as his saber. There was that hatred again. That yellow rage that colored his eyes. That little whisper in the back of his mind that told him to kill this defiant whelp.

"Ben NO!" Luke's voice called out.  
  
It didn't stop him and Brendol stumbled back and quickly reached for his own saber to ignite the green glow just before the crackling red stuck him. The blades crackled as they met and Ben hit hard, relentlessly. Brendol was put on the defense rather quickly. Every step Ben took was an attack. His only focus was beating Brendol into submission.  
  
Rey glanced up at Luke as he made to step in, but Lor San Tekka held a hand up to stop him. They had to let this play out. There was no stopping it. Not unless one's life hit the point of being in danger. She hoped these masters knew what they were doing.  
  
"Form five, Luke? He takes after you." San Tekka deducted.  
  
"Me? Or _him_?" Luke questioned with concern.  
  
Ben's next strike was strong, powerful enough that it knocked Brendol's lightsaber from his hands and across the ground, leaving dark burn marks in it's path as it went.  
  
"Enough, Ben!" Luke called out once more, reaching out with the force and halting Ben's saber when it came within inches of his student's face. Ben shot him a rage filled glance, that awful coat of yellow still tinting them.  
  
Through her years with him Rey had never been afraid of him, but in this moment Rey was terrified of what he was becoming. The light was inside of him. She had witnessed it so many times in the small kind acts that he committed when he thought nobody was looking. Right now however... she didn't see any of it.  
  
When his eyes met hers she found that she didn't recognize him, but when he saw her fear his expression changed and he glanced from her, to Luke and then to a cowering opponent before him. The color faded and this time he didn't ask what he had done. He already knew. He deactivated the saber and Luke released him from the hold.  
  
"We need to talk... alone." Luke added that final word when he noticed the students had gathered as an audience. It was not something he needed right this moment and so he waved a hand for Ben to follow him and Tekka went along as well leaving Rey by herself.  
  
"He's a mad man." Brendol stated with exasperation while his companions helped him up. "I hope that Master Luke exiles him from the academy."  
  
Rey pressed her lips together in a thin line and tripped Brendol using the force as she had once before and then quickly ran in the direction of the temple where they took Ben. She knew she would be in trouble if she was caught, but she needed to know if Ben was going to be forced to leave or not. It was a terrifying thought to think he might be exiled. If he was going then so was she.  
  
She hurried up the steps of the temple and past the entrance doors to where she saw the temple's council room door, half cracked open with a light shinning through it and the occasional pass of a shadow. She moved closer and glanced into the room as discreetly as she could.  
  
"You could have killed your fellow padawan." Luke scolded him.  
  
"And he would have deserved it." Ben snapped back, all that had been bottled up and pent inside of him was spilling out.  
  
"We do not kill our fellow force users, Ben! This has to stop. You two have always had problems. It's my fault. I realize it. Because you are my nephew, but the arguing and the fist fights and now this? You build your lightsaber and the first thing you do is try to kill someone with it?" Luke gestured to Ben's lightsaber. "You reek of Sith. Do you realize that? You leave me no choice. I must exclude you from becoming a Jedi until you have learned to control yourself."  
  
"Uncle!" The words stung -they hurt- but he defensively put forth anger. "I've done everything you've asked of me! I have been forced to work so much harder because I was your nephew... just so I could pass all of my tests without it seeming as though you've favored me for being family!"  
  
"I know. It isn't fair. But you are leaning towards a dark path. Your anger. You must let it go. I know you feel abandoned by your parents. I know you hurt-"  
  
"How would you know!? Your uncle and aunt were there for you until the end! Mother... she's always there... in the senate... and the pathetic excuse for a man you call my father... runs away whenever it gets hard...!" His teeth clicked together hard and his voice broke despite himself. "Uncle... please... this is all I have left... don't take it from me..."  
  
"I'm sorry, Ben." Luke stood up from his sitting position on the floor. "You will be excluded from the ceremony."  
  
A harsh rumble of thunder rolled across the sky and Rey inhaled sharply. The noise must have given her away, because Lor San Tekka raised a brow and glanced directly at her, but he did not say a word or let anyone know that she was there. A small kindness. Instead he looked back to Ben.  
  
"You may return with me to Jakku. I could help you to control your temp-" Tekka didn't get a chance to finish as Ben turned abruptly and slammed the doors open to storm out of the room without a moment's hesitation.  
  
Rey gasped, took a step back and tried to stay out of the way. The pain and anger rolled off of him in waves. You didn't have to be a force user to be able to sense it in the air.  
  
"Wait! Ben!" She called out to him and for a moment thought that he may not stop, but after a short hesitation he did stop. Though he didn't dare turn to face her. It made her wonder what she would see in his eyes if he did.  
  
"If they want to see a monster so badly... I'll show them one..." His tone mixed with the electric crackle of lightning beyond the temple. The air felt strange and Ben felt so far away from himself as he continued forward without looking back, right out into the storm. Outside the safety of the temple.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shocking revelation is made

_"If they want to see a monster so badly... I'll show them one..."_  
  
Those words terrified her. Nothing had ever scared her so badly in her life, because she knew exactly what it meant. It meant that she was going to lose him forever and not knowing what else to do she quickly ran back to the council room to find Luke.  
  
"Master Luke! Ben is leaving!" She hurriedly spat the words out and Luke blinked in surprise, but then he felt something. A strong disturbance in The Force. It was stronger then anything he had ever felt before.  
  
"We must find him." Lor San Tekka stated as he forced himself up from his sitting place and to his feet.  
  
"Rey, stay here." Luke told her and both the men rushed from the room to try and stop Ben before it was too late. "We'll find him. He couldn't have gone far."

Luke and San Tekka both boarded a ship for a better view of their surroundings and took off in a rush to search from the air.  
  
Once again Rey waited until they left her alone and she made the decision to disobey orders again as made off to search for him as well. She couldn't let him be alone. Not now. He needed her more then he had ever needed her. The storm outside was raging. It was angry. It was dangerous, but she dared to venture out into it despite that.  
  
But she had a few better ideas of where he might have gone. She knew the places that he would hide when he was hurting. It was hard to see through the rain but she made her way to the training yard. He was not here. She searched where their favorite reading spot was underneath the white flowering trees, but he was also not here. It was reduced to a sad sight. The blossoms had all been blown away in the wind until not a single one remained. They had all scattered.  
  
Perhaps he wanted to get away from the academy altogether. She could hardly blame him. If that were the case then the jungle was all that remained. So that was where she set out to search next and before she knew it she had been searching for hours until she was frozen cold down to the very bone from the freezing rain that poured down and blew in to soak her from head to toe.  
  
"Ben!" She called out over the wind and rain in hopes that maybe he would hear her and come back. Rey dropped down beneath a tree and although it was not much cover it would have to do while she gathered her thoughts. If Ben wasn't here where had he gone?  
  
  


* * *

  
  
He had made his way far from the academy. Deep into the darkness of the jungle. There was a voice that called to him... that spoke to him. It drew him in. He had been cast out of the light and so he made the choice to embrace the darkness. It was all that was left for him.  
  
That same shadow from before appeared before his eyes and he halted mid step. This time he wasn't afraid.  
  
"I told you in the caves that he would betray you, but you refused to believe me. You continued to put your faith in your uncle and look where it has gotten you. It is I and I alone that you can trust."  
  
"You were right." Ben admitted dejectedly.  
  
"Of course I was." The shadow slowly made it's way closer and held out his arms to either side of himself. Like a father. Welcoming.  
  
"What would you have me do?" Ben took a step forward and reached out, but his hand waved through the shadow as if it were a thick fog. This being was not corporeal.   
  
"Ben Solo is weak. Kill him." It commanded. "Kill him and those weak fools that tormented you. I prepared for this moment. For you. To make you a king among men."  
  
He breathed in deeply, glancing up in shock when this creature mentioned killing the other students. Killing those thugs wouldn't cause him any grief... but there were others that had done nothing wrong.

"I can't... not everyone... Tai and his friends... they've done nothing wrong." 

"That boy is weak. You know it to be true. You must cull the herd." The voice continued. "Don't you want to be feared and respected?"

"Everyone already fears me." He stated quietly, but he didn't think that he could do that. He couldn't kill Tai or any of the others. That wasn't what he wanted. The idea of being respected however was appealing... he was so tired of everyone walking all over him.

_"Ben!"_ Rey's voice called out over the storm and everything stopped for him, wiping rain water from his face he quickly turned and scanned in the direction of her voice. What was she doing out here? She could be hurt.

"Bring the girl to me." The voice commanded and that gave him pause.

"No." Ben finally responded defiantly, because if there was one thing he wouldn't do that was give Rey up to anyone or anything.

"Ungrateful cur!" It was the first loss of temper that he'd ever heard from the voice.

Igniting his saber he quickly slashed across the shadow, listened to a satisfying screech as it receded and then he turned in the direction that he'd heard Rey's voice coming from. The creature didn't matter... she was far more important than anything else.

Clipping his saber back into place at his side he rushed off in that direction, struggling against the storm to find her before it was too late.  
  


* * *

  
Rey had not moved from her spot. She stayed where she was, worrying, fearful that Ben was gone for good. She only glanced up with she heard the faint crack of a branch under foot and there she found a shadow before her.  
  
"Ben?" She stood up and made her way closer to the from, yet there was no response from it. It felt cold. "It's too dark. Where are you?"

"Rey." Ben's voice came from behind her, prompting her to turn around to find him standing there, soaked to the bone.

Without hesitation she launched herself into him, hitting him directly in the stomach as she latched onto him. She heard his brief exhale as she knocked the wind out of him, but he still wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"What are you doing out here? It's too dangerous. Haven't we discussed you wandering out into the jungle on your own? Did you forget what happened the last time?" His voice was an attempt at sounding harsh, but really he was worried more than anything else.  
  
"You're out here." She defended, because it was unfair of him to yell at her when he was out here just the same. "But..."

Rey did cast a glance behind her and noticed that shadow was gone. She didn't know what it was or what it had been.

The wind increased causing a massive tree to splinter and come dangerously close to crushing them. At that moment nothing else mattered. They needed to get out of this storm and they needed to do so now.

"We need to go back." He grabbed her by the elbow and quickly started back towards the temple. 

With every step the storm grew worse. Arriving at the stream they discovered that it had turned into a raging river. The pouring rain had caused it to swell well above the stone bridge.

He began to pace back and forth nervously. He needed to think. Had to figure out a way to get them across. There were various was that he tried to consider... at first he thought about maybe swimming across with her on his back, but that wasn't the smartest idea. The current was too strong. Bad idea.

The next idea was to bring down a tree and perhaps go across on one of those, but once he realized that it would be too easy to slip in this rain he knew that this idea was just as bad and it would end the same way as the first.

Another bolt of lightning struck too far for his liking and he cursed under his breath. This wasn't going to work. They couldn't get across. So he turned them around and went in the opposite direction of the academy.

"Ben... the academy is the other way." The confusion and fear came through her voice as much as it came through the bond.

"I know, but we can't make it there safely. We need to wait this out." He did his best to keep his voice even and calm as he spoke. The last thing he wanted was to cause her any more fear. "Come on, kid. Climb up."

He helped her climb up his back where he wouldn't lose her in the storm or the growing darkness. Rey was his priority above everything else. He was only focused on getting her safely out of this storm. 

Reaching for his saber at his side, he ignited it so that he could see where he was going. He needed to know where he was going. There was only one place that he could think of that they were going to be safe to wait out this storm that had seemed to come from nowhere.

"Where are we going?" Rey continued to prod. He felt her nerves. He wished he was better at calming them, but there wasn't much that he could do.

"Somewhere safe." It was the only answer that he could provide her with, muttering under his breath. "Hold on tight, sweetheart. I don't want to lose you."

There was more behind those words than she could ever imagine. He wasn't ever going to lose her... not to Luke. Not to those shadows. Nothing would take her from him. He didn't care what he had to give up personally. He wouldn't lose her.

Moving through the forest he had to be careful about each step. He couldn't fall. Not now. His lightsaber's light guided him in the right direction and before long a flash of lightning illuminated one of the temples in front of them.

It was situated in the center of the lake, but still he didn't hesitate. He kept moving forward, across the stepping stones until he reached the entrance. He had to cut through some of the vines to actually get them through, but once they were out of the way they were finally safe inside. Out of the rain. Safe from falling trees and lightning.

Sighing deeply he lowered Rey to the ground so that he could catch his breath. Making it here in the freezing cold rain had sapped his strength. He didn't think he could take another step... he needed to rest.

He set his lightsaber aside, but left it on for light. Although he still sensed her apprehension mixed with curiosity. 

"What is this place?" Rey asked quietly, stepping forward and exploring a little bit of this new, uncharted territory.

"The Temple of Exar Kun." He hadn't realized that he had come out this far, but now he wondered if that shadow didn't have something to do with the Sith Lord. Was he behind all of this? His nightmares? Vader?

"The Sith that enslaved the people?" 

"Yes." He very slowly dropped to sit down, sighed and lowered his head. "You've been studying your history."

"Nobody else in my class takes it seriously." Rey shivered slightly as she spoke. It was cold, especially with the cold rain soaking through her clothes, but there was nothing they could do about it.

He noticed. Of course he noticed.

"I'm sorry. I wish I had something warm to give you." It killed him that he couldn't provide for her and take care of her the way that he wanted right now.

"I recognize this..." Rey said suddenly and he lifted his head to watch he brush away at a spot on the wall. 

"What?" Ben straightened up, stepped up behind her and looked at what she indicated on the wall. "Isaiwinokka hoyakuts itharii... how do you recognize it?"

"My parents... what does it mean?" 

"I'm not sure... "Itharii" bears a similarity to Sith'ari. It's a Sith Prophecy." He was faintly aware of their book, but Luke didn't let them delve into it. "They have a chosen one. Similar to the Jedi, but... they're all so full of themselves they all think they're the chosen one."

"Do you think this temple is haunted?"

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean... if Exar Kun drained life forces of the Massassi population so that he could transfer his spirit into the temple... do you think that they're here too?" She questioned.

It was a loaded question that he wasn't entirely certain how to answer. It was very possible, but he didn't want t say that. Didn't want to tell her so that she would be afraid, but he still didn't understand how Rey could recognize those words.

Her parents knew those words or had something with it on them. What did that mean for her? Who were her parents? From his understanding they were filthy junk traders... they had sold her to Unkar Plutt for drinking money. Did they perhaps come across some Sith artifact they thought was worth some credits?

There were a lot of unanswered questions he had.

"I dunno, kid." He decided on honesty. He liked to always be as honest with her as possible, but it bothered him that she knew that writing so well. Why?

Sighing he glanced back at his lightsaber setting against the stone. For a time the only noise echoing throughout the temple was the unstable crackling hum of his saber. 

"I thought you were going to leave me." She admitted into the darkness softly, drawing his attention away from his insecurities over his failures.

"Rey, I was never going to leave you. I just needed time. I would have come back for you." He knew exactly how she felt. He knew what it felt like to have parents that handed you off to someone else and never came back. "I won't ever leave you."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise." If there was one thing in this world that he could promise and uphold it was without a doubt this. "How could I ever leave the other half of my soul?"

It alleviated her fears. He felt the sudden relief. The ease of tension. As if the weight had been taken off his own shoulders as well. She hugged him almost immediately and clung onto him tightly. He realized that he had acted rashly, but he had just been so upset... so angry with Luke. He had only been thinking of himself when he left... he should have told her that he wasn't going to leave her. 

A rumble caught his attention and he realized that it was the sound of a shuttle. Luke and Tekka's presence were nearby. They must have located them and come to bring them home... for once... he was glad. It was too dangerous out here for Rey.

Luke came storming into the temple with Tekka at his side. He looked furious. It wasn't really what he was hoping for, but he knew that his uncle would be angry with him for taking shelter here of all places.

"Why did you come here? You know this place is forbidden." Luke's words conveyed his anger clearly.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak Rey stepped in-between them and caused Luke to falter.

"It wasn't his fault. The storm swelled the river and we couldn't get back." 

"Well..." Tekka cleared his throat, attempting to break the tension. "I think we can both agree that we're glad they're safe. Regardless of the means."

"Yes. Of course." Luke sighed then and gestured for them to come along to the shuttle, but on the way to the exit Ben set a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Uncle Luke..." He began as he watched Tekka hurry Rey up the ramp and into the shuttle, noticed the way she stopped to look towards them in worry, but was urged onward by the older man. "What do you know about Rey?"

"What do you mean, Ben?" 

"She recognizes the writing here in this temple." He waited. He waited for Luke to say something, but there was nothing. "What do you know about her? I know you know something. Why does she recognize Sith?"

Luke inhaled deeply and turned towards him. There was something in his face that told him that whatever it was that he had hidden from him was nothing good.

"You want to know so badly?" Luke asked, a rumble of thunder following shortly after. "She's a Palpatine."

The words struck him like the bolt of lightning that hit the temple and he took a step back. It didn't make any sense. A Palpatine? How could Rey be a Palpatine? She had been alone there on Jakku... her parents were nobodies.

But... that look on his uncle's face. He was telling the truth. Rey was a Palpatine. If anyone would know then it would be his uncle. He was the one that had helped to defeat the former Emperor after all.

"Get your lightsaber, Ben. We need to go." Luke urged him to hurry.

Swallowing with difficulty he nodded and turned to snatch his lightsaber off the ground and deactivated it before clipping it to his belt. 

As he followed Luke outside of the temple and to the shuttle he decided on one thing... it changed nothing. It didn't change how he felt about Rey. He would never stop loving her. No matter who she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter before a time skip. The plot thickens.


	9. Chapter 9

Rey sighed as she loaded up her sparring gear into her locker. It had been a long day at the academy. They had another important test in preparing the padawans to become knights and she was dreading the grade that she might get back. She didn't know what she would do if she failed.

Her biggest fear was Ben being disappointed in her. He always told her to make sure she studied hard and didn't end up like him. Self-deprecating as always.  
  
She paused to wipe some sweat from her brow and glanced up at the holonet screen to see some sort of galaxy wide celebration that was taking place. A whole parade dedicated to it.  
  
A day to celebrate family.  
  
While it might be a happy occasion to most people... for her... it just reminded her of something that she didn't have. Of something she had lost and of something that she would never, ever get the chance to experience.  
  
Today always seemed to get her down. While it did get her down she did work hard to struggle and keep herself from sinking too far. She would just immerse herself in her studies and keep going. Day to day like she always did. Besides. She wasn't the only one here without parents. Finn didn't have parents either. A lot of other students had lost their families in the war.

She gave a glance over at Finn where he was putting his things away, only briefly giving the holonet a look. Otherwise he seemed disinterested. The only interest he took was when he noticed her and offered a smile.

"Are you finished with training? Do you want to get dinner with me?"

"Thanks, but I'm waiting for Ben." She wanted to be polite about it, because she never had lunch without Ben. It felt wrong to go on ahead without him.

Of course Finn rolled his eyes. He and Ben never really saw eye to eye. Of course the irritation passed when the door opened and two familiar faces entered the hall.

"Girls, want to catch dinner?" Finn saw his next opportunity in the Tico sisters.

"Sure." Rose spoke up, smiling, but then glancing over towards Rey. "Are you joining us?"

"Pfft. No... she's waiting for _'Ben'_." Finn made his best attempt at imitating her accent and made the most ridiculous puppy dog eyes she'd ever seen.

"That... reminds me. Rose and I had a bet going." Paige smiled and crossed her arms over her chest. "Rey, you still sleep with Ben right?"

Rey nearly choked at the way it was phrased, even if she knew she was overthinking the way that Paige said it. She had to hide her face and pretend that she was just adjusting some of her equipment in her locker.

"Yes..." 

"Does Ben snore?" Paige's question caught her a bit of guard. "Rose bet that he sleeps like an angel and I'm sure he snores like a bantha."

"Uhm..." Rey took a moment to think about it. It wasn't really something that she thought much about. She didn't think he snored. He just breathed deeply when he slept. "No. He doesn't snore."

"Yes! I told you." Rose looked smug and held her hand out, leaving Paige to sigh and dig in her jacket for some credits to give over to her.

"Why are all you girls so obsessed with Ben Solo? His face is crooked." Finn complained, grumbling before Rose reached up and took his face, pressing her mouth right against his.

"It's okay, Finn. I still love you, even if Ben Solo is cute." 

"I quite agree, Finn." Sindian snorted hearing their comments. They hadn't actually realized he was there until just now. Though he crossed his arms and glanced up at the news. "What a stupid holiday..."

Ah, that was right. Sindian also knew what it was like to not have a father. He must feel the burn. It almost made Rey feel sorry for him.

"Well. It isn't as if Solo has to worry about it. Everyone knows he's a failed abortion." Sindian continued on. "That's why his parents never show up."

 _Almost_.

"Uhh, well... we were going to get lunch, so..." Finn rubbed the back of his neck. He didn't personally have any problems with the other student. 

Rey on the other hand did the only thing that was possible in that moment. She retreated and left. As much as she wanted to shove him right on that smug face of his.  
  
Still she couldn't quite shake the disappointment that she felt. Wrapping her arms around herself against the chill of the evening she decided that she needed the cool air to clear her head and so she kept walking, but all she could think was if Sindian and his companions were to be future Jedi... beacons of righteousness and justice... then the future was looking a bit dim and maybe she didn't want to be a part of that.  
  
She hadn't been paying attention to where she was wandering however and realized that she had arrived at the hanger. Perhaps because the old ships were something that had always made her feel better. In here she could daydream about what it was like to fly one of them. One day she would. When she was a Jedi and she could fly them all across the galaxy.  
  
There she noted in the corner Luke's iconic fighter and she almost smiled, but she couldn't quite bring herself to. It wasn't in her. Not on a day like this.  
  
A deep, masculine sigh alerted her to the fact that she wasn't alone and she peaked around one of the ships in the hanger and noticed Ben sitting there all alone. Not that him sitting alone wasn't usual. It was just... she didn't know what he was doing in the hanger by himself. She hoped he wasn't planning on running away again.  
Her gaze dropped down to the piece of paper in his large hands and she realized that Ben must be waiting for his parents to show up. That must be what he had spent all night writing. Only... the sun was setting and it was obvious that they hadn't shown up.  
  
In fact Rey couldn't seem to remember a time that Han had ever shown up. Leia called sometimes, but as a senator she couldn't really come all the way out here. It led her to the realization that the two of them were a lot more alike than just the fact that they shared a soul and a force bond.  
  
She watched as Ben reached over for a blowtorch for ship repairs in the kit next to him and lifted the paper high in front of him before igniting the corner, whatever words he might have written for his parents went up in flames and became lost forever.  
  
"Well... don't just stand there, Rey. By all means... come in." He dropped the paper onto the ground and then tossed the torch back into the kit.  
  
"I wasn't trying to spy." She replied softly and watched the shift of his broad shoulders as he shrugged.  
  
"No? You have a knack for it."  
  
"Just... trying to get away."  
  
"Why? What happened?" His tone changed and he looked up from the ashes abruptly.   
  
"I... nothing. Just Brendol Sindian being himself."  
  
"Ah... what did he say?" Ben deadpanned.

"You don't want to know..." Rey really didn't want to tell him. It would hurt on a day like today. "I wanted to say something, but I don't think it would have mattered."

"Mmm. I see the problem. You just need to make sure you talk like an idiot so that he can understand you."

"Ben!" She couldn't believe what he'd said and she tried to look scandalized, but she couldn't stop the smile that appeared on her face.  
  
"What? I'm not a Jedi. I can say whatever I want about people." He sighed and leaned back a little. Though she thought she caught the faintest hint of a smile. "Alright, you're right. I'm being mean because I'm so jealous of him and what he does with his hair. I just... wonder how he gets it to come out of the nostrils like that."  
  
"Ben, comeon..." It was getting hard not to laugh and she was sure that he knew exactly what he was doing. "You are so lucky Master Luke isn't here to hear you."   
  
"I'm just another padawan." He shoved some of the ashes around with his boot and then glanced up at her again. "Do you want to go for a ride?"  
  
"A ride?" She stared at him as he said it and was about to say no. That they shouldn't break the rules, but then... Ben had really tried to make her feel better and she realized that he must feel just as bad as she had moments ago. Maybe they both needed this?  
  
The other students said those sorts of things to Ben all the time. They tormented him and laughed at him and he had to silently deal with it... and today he also had to deal with the fact that his family wasn't around when they should be. Leia had an excuse. Han didn't.  
  
"He makes it too easy to steal..." He jerked a thumb towards Poe's fighter and Rey wasn't so sure it was a good idea, but she felt like he needed this more than she did.  
  
"What if we get caught?"  
  
Ben shoved himself off the crate he'd been sitting on and then he made his way over to the fighter, opened up the cockpit and pulled himself inside of it. So it seemed that it wasn't up for debate.  
  
Once he was in he leaned over the side and held a hand out for her. She was skeptical of course... wasn't too sure that she'd fit in there with him because Ben was so big, but she took his hand, felt him easily pull her up with him and then she settled into the seat in front of him.

The sudden startled beeping began from behind them and Ben chuckled low under his breath as he glanced up at the droid in the back.

"No, we're not rescuing anyone today, Bebe. Just a ride. Do you mind?"

Bebe was silent for a moment or two, but finally beeped out that he could let it slide. Flipping the switches to power it on he pulled the out of the hanger and out into the free, open sky. Up and away from anything that they might risk hitting.

The sun was still setting. The view from up here was amazing. To be able to watch the ground from above. To see the sun dying the lake and trees a vivid vermilion. If she had been second guessing this choice then she wasn't any longer. Even if they ended up getting caught the view was more than worth it.  
  
And despite all of that Rey still noticed the solid warmth behind her. It was comforting to be so close to someone that you knew would always protect and take care of you. She could almost slip right into sleep against him.  
  
"Am I boring you?" She felt the rumble of his chest under her as he spoke. "Do you want to fly?"  
  
"You're going to let me fly?" That woke her up.  
  
"You're a big girl, Rey. It's about time you learned." Ben answered.  
  
Taking a deep breath she reached up to take the controls and watched his hands leave it. She had both some excitement and nervousness run through her at the prospect of flying herself. It was scary to think that she might mess up, but it was also freeing that she had all this control and all this open space.  
  
"Sometimes I can't believe that when I'm a Jedi I'll have my own." She stated softly, felt him shift a little behind her and drop his hands down to her elbows. "On Jakku I never thought I would own anything. Especially not my own ship."  
  
"You're going to go far, kid." He stayed silent for the most part and eventually dropped his hands away to let her have full control. It was one of those moments that would linger forever in memory. "I would have let you take the shuttle, but that big ship might have been a bit too obvious..."  
  
"Ben?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Thank you for this." As she spoke she reached a hand back behind her, brushed along his cheek and jawline. A simple touch to convey her words more clearly.  
  
"You're welcome, Rey." He leaned into her hand, but slowly brought his up to take hers and place it back at the control wheel. "But keep both hands on the yoke. What are you trying to kills us both?"

She smiled at his teasing tone, but she knew that he was right. She needed to focus on flying. Not on him. It was just difficult not to do that. 

It was true that she'd loved Ben all her life and she'd always had something of a crush on him. Now it was different. She was more aware of him in a way that she had never been before... and Ben being Ben hadn't noticed at all. It was frustrating. 

But what else could she expect? All she was ever going to be to him was a child.

What was worse was that since Luke had held him back from being a Jedi he seemed to have gotten closer to Paige. There was that ever present fear since Tai had brought up the idea of the two of them ending up together. 

She had tried so hard not to let it show how much it had bothered her that day. It hadn't seemed to matter of course. Ben always knew when something was bothering her and set out to remedy it however he could. This one however didn't have a cure. If Ben didn't have that pressure of being a Jedi. If he didn't have to follow the rules anymore... would he eventually end up with Paige? If he did where would that leave her?

All the questions just made her head spin until she felt Ben's hand come up along her elbow to guide her up above the clouds.

"I can feel you thinking..."

"Sorry..." Rey hoped that he hadn't heard what she was thinking on top of that, but he did try very hard not to pry into her thoughts. Even if their bond caused them to catch hints here and there of certain trains of thought the other was having.

"Do you want to do an aileron roll?" 

"What? No!" Rey was quick to dismiss that idea, but he nudged her elbow just enough that it sent them over despite her reservations.

It left her screaming, which quickly dissolved into laughter right alongside his, because even though it was scary at first she knew that Ben had complete control and that she didn't have anything to worry about. 

"You want to do a tailslide next?"

"Don't you dare." 

"Split S?"

"No."

"Falling leaf?"

"Ben..." She took a breath and tried to just get used to the basics. She didn't want to try anything too crazy on her first flight. 

"You're good at this, Rey. Don't overthink it too much." He dropped his hands away from her once more and then leaned back further in the seat, giving her full control again.

"The clouds are so beautiful from up here. Like we're in another world." She glanced out the side of the cockpit and watched the way the setting sun tinted the clouds from underneath like an orange ocean below them. "I wonder what they feel like."

"Let's find out." Ben reached a hand up and placed it on the hatch. "Deep breath."

He breathed in deeply and prompted her to do the same before he flipped the hatch open and held a hand up while they dipped lower into the clouds. Bebe made some complaints behind the about it not being safe, but Rey couldn't pass up an opportunity like this and reached a hand up next to Ben's.

It didn't actually feel the way that she thought it felt. Cool and damp, but other than that it didn't really feel like much... and at the same time it was exhilarating. It felt like it filled her with energy to be up here.

Of course they couldn't stay forever as nice as it felt. 

Lowering her hand she let him close the canopy and then reached back to wipe the moisture off on his face, leaving Ben scoffing in mock offense.

"Did you just rub cloud on my face?"

"Yup." She smiled as she felt the rumble of laughter in his chest behind her and the way that he wrapped his arms around her so that he could lean in and rub that side of his face against hers while rocking her from side to side. "Ben! You're going to make us crash."

"Mmm. We're high enough." He brushed it off and then sighed contently. "Maybe today isn't so bad... I get to spend it with my baby sister. We don't need any other family. Just you and me."

Those words killed her good mood in an instant and he didn't even seem to notice. It just reminded her that her feelings for him would never be anything more than a stupid, childish crush.

Pressing her lips together in a thin line she just tried to focus on flying. At least until the sun finally started to settle lower and the clouds tinted into a dark blue. It was time to head in for the night.

"You should land." She suggested quietly.

"No. You can do it. I believe in you." Again Ben left it in her hands, but she felt somewhat nervous at the prospect of landing herself. "Just go slowly. It will be fine."

"Okay..." She convinced herself that she could indeed do this. Giving herself a mantra of 'I can do this' in her head. 

While at first they came in roughly she did manage to get it under control, listening to Bebe give her a little extra assistance as she came into the hanger to put the fighter down in roughly the same place that it had been before.

Ben opened up the canopy again and helped her out before climbing down after her. He took a long moment to stretch himself out after being in such a small, confined space for so long.

"We should get something to eat." He started forward, made sure to give a good look around to be certain that nobody had realized they were off breaking the rules. "I think we're fine."

Since it was late the walk to the mess hall was quiet and there were only a couple other students eating late dinners. 

Rey sighed deeply, wondering what time it was. They had been out for awhile. It had been fun while it lasted. Before Ben had to go and say what he said earlier. 

They were both able to get a decent dinner and head over to their usual table. She briefly glanced up at the recent news, prompting Ben to do the same, but resulting in him rolling his eyes because the news was on politics.

It would seem things were heating up between the rival parties.

She ate mostly in silence, ignoring the occasional look that he gave her. It was clear hat he was waiting for her to say something... she just didn't. Eventually she heard him sigh and then shove aside a piece of green on his plate.

"I forgot to ask how your classes went." He began carefully, trying to open up a conversation.

"They were fine." She kept it short and simple. That clearly wasn't what he was hoping for. She could practically hear th gears grinding in his head as he tried to think of something else to say.

It didn't matter. The station switched and Galactic News Network came on with a special report.

"Good evening everyone. We're coming on the air because there has been an incident at the senatorial conference building on the day a gathering of the Populist party was scheduled to take place. There are reports of explosions." The woman on screen began.

Ben dropped his fork and his head shot up to the screen, eyes wide in terror, because his mother was there. He scrambled for the remote to turn up the volume and a few other students looked up as well.

"Multiple law enforcement officials tell GNN that there are at least a hundred people injured so far." The woman continued on. "We're getting some images from the senatorial complex. Half the building is gone. A large number of triage droids have surrounded the building..."

That was all he needed to hear. Ben sprung up from the table, knocked his trey aside as he rushed out of the mess hall. 

Rey forgot all about her dinner by that point. She knew that Ben was going to need her right now. His mother was a senator and she must have been in that building. She hoped that nothing had happened to her.

Approaching Luke's office she heard the arguing before she even made it through the door.

"Ben, you need to calm down." Luke was somehow managing to keep calm. Rey wondered how, considering it was his sister. Ben however very clearly had tears building in his eyes. He wasn't handling it very well.

"How can I calm down? What if she was hurt or worse?!" Ben began to pace back and forth, tangling a hand in his hair and pulling at the strands painfully.

"If something had happened we would both have felt it. I promise you that." Luke settled back into his seat and sighed, deciding that he would dare to turn GNN on and find out the details for himself.

It did seem to calm Ben slightly, but he was still clearly on edge as he slowly sat in front of Luke's desk. He could only wait for his mother to call and she knew that waiting drove Ben crazy on normal occasions. This must be making him insane.

"She could still be hurt." 

"There's no sense in allowing ourselves to panic in any case." Luke folded his hands and sighed as he looked at the rubble and the injured being shown. "I know it won't be easy, but you need to try to get some rest. I have the feeling tomorrow is going to be a long day. Your mother will contact us as soon as she can."

Ben sighed deeply, but after a moment he did give in and stand. Began to head back to his room without a word. Luke did however raise a brow at her, silently asking if she had anything to say... and perhaps knowing that they had snuck out.

If he did... he didn't admit that he knew. Instead he just allowed her to go after Ben without prodding too much. Perhaps he knew it was a bad time. Whatever the reason she took advantage of this small mercy and hurried after Ben.

He seemed to have fallen into that place in his mind that he always did when he was upset or thinking too much. As soon as he made it into their room he began to pace back and forth. She wanted to say something... ask if he was alright... the answer however was fairly obvious that it wasn't okay.

She decided that silence was a better option. She let him be, sat down on the bed and watched as he paced back and forth.

Ben continued on pacing. Kept moving. She thought for sure that he was eventually going to burn a hole in the floor at the rate that he was going... until he did finally drop down into the chair at the desk with a deep, heavy sigh and buried his face in his hands.

"Ben..." She licked her lips nervously and tried to think of what she could say. "Is Luke right? You would feel it if she was gone?"

"Yes..." His voice came out miserably weak.

"Then... you don't have anything to worry about." Rey tried, but it also made her think about her own parents. She didn't feel them at all. Did that mean...? It wasn't about her she reminded herself. She shouldn't think that way right now. There was plenty of time to ask more about that later.

Right now Ben needed her. Standing she carefully stepped across the room and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Sometimes words weren't enough. They certainly didn't feel like they would be enough right now.

It seemed like it helped a little, because his reaction to wrap his arms around her and bury his face in her shoulder was immediate. He sighed contently when she brought a hand up to run her fingers through his hair, to soothe him. 

"I'm sorry." He apologized quietly.

"Why?"

"I should be taking care of you. Not the other way around."

"We take care of each other." She didn't understand why he was worrying about her right now. He needed to think about himself right now.

"But I have a responsibility to you-" He didn't get to finish that sentence. The sudden beeping from his desk had him turning to quickly flip it on.

Luke appeared in a shade of blue. "Your mother is on line one-"

And Ben didn't even let Luke finish whatever it was that he was going to say. He was switching it to line one to find out for himself that she was alright.

"Mom." His voice came out in a way that Rey was certain that she'd never heard it before so she settled back and allowed the two of them to speak.

"Your uncle told me how worried you were. I'm alright, Ben." Leia's voice was calm and soothing. An underline of strain perhaps. "We're all very fortunate. Nobody was killed. We managed to get out in time."

"Did they find out who did it?" 

"There are plenty of theories." Leia sighed, sounding absolutely exasperated. 

"But you're not safe until you find who did it. Not really." It only reignited his worry. "This person could strike again at any time."

"We'll catch whoever it was, Ben. Try not to worry."

"I should be there. This is what I've been training for. To stop people like this. Terrorist and criminals." He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"And you will, but not yet." His mother sounded sure, confident in her words. However it didn't last as she frowned when turning to speak to someone off screen. "I'm sorry. I need to go. Things are hectic here as you can imagine."

"Yeah... I know." 

"Goodbye, Ben. I love you."

"I love you too." His tone softened, but it was impossible to hide the disappointment on his face as he flipped the switch off and then made his way over to the bed.

Rey watched him lie there on his back, staring at the ceiling for a while and then finally heard him groan loudly in frustration. She knew that it must be making him absolutely crazy that he wasn't there to take care of his mother.

Still when it came to parents she had a difficult time. It was impossible to know what to say... so she climbed into bed next to him and sighed.

"At least she's alright." Rey on the other hand couldn't say the same. She had no idea what had happened to her parents. The realization that she couldn't feel anything made her question.

"Yeah..." 

"I'm sorry I couldn't make you feel better."

"What are you talking about?" He raised a brow as he turned onto his side to face her. "You always make me feel better. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here."

"You would have stolen Poe's ship and gone there." She decided. It was what he had done for her. He would have done the same for his mother.

"Yeah. Probably." He admitted. "And gotten into even more trouble with my rank."

"Is there a rank lower than padawan?"

"No, but I'm sure Luke would just make one up." He laughed quietly.

It was a nice ease off the terror from before. Now that they were aware that nobody had died it was a great relief. Ben's mother was safe and none of the senators had been killed despite the massive amounts of damage that had been done to the building in the bombing.

Sleep came easy that night, but both were left with a sense that this was just the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in the chapter before this is where things take off. Rey's feelings deepen as she grows older and the infamous napkin bombing takes place.
> 
> Ages  
> Born 2 ABY: Poe age 26  
> Born 5 ABY: Ben age 23  
> Born 6 ABY: Paige age 22  
> Born 11 ABY: Finn/Rose age 17  
> Born 13 ABY: Kaydel Ko Connix/Jannah age 15  
> Born 15 ABY: Rey age 13


	10. Chapter 10

It was early morning. The sky was still a light blue, but Ben woke to the soft song of some birds that had perched themselves nearby. 

Groaning he stretched himself out, bumped into Rey by mistake an raised a brow. He looked over at her expecting her to be elbowing him for bumping into her or waking her up, but... she was still fast asleep.

That was unusual. Rey was almost always awake before he was. He supposed that it might be all the trials that she was going through right now. She had seemed so exhausted lately. It shouldn't surprise him. She was at the age now that trials only became more difficult. 

Turning onto his side he looked over her sleeping face. It was hard to contain the feelings of affection that flooded him when he looked at her. Reaching up he very gently brushed some loose strands of hair back from her face and leaned in to press a kiss against her cheek before he crawled over her to get off the bed.

He decided he'd get a shower in first and allow her to get a little extra rest today. It seemed like she really needed it.

Halfway to the door he stopped, grimaced at a sudden stabbing pain in his lower stomach... so intense he had to brace himself against the door and double over. That... that was odd... he'd never felt anything like that before.

It was leaving him wondering if perhaps he'd eaten something bad at some point, but he didn't necessarily feel that kind of sick. It passed after a moment or two, leaving he very carefully opening the door and glancing back to make sure he hadn't woken her.

Still asleep. 

He sighed, stepping through and started the shower. As he stripped down he had to just hope that the warm water was going to maybe soothe whatever it was that might be causing him pain.

While he scrubbed himself down he paused at a sore spot on his chest. He supposed that he needed to start taking it easier when he worked out... he knew he'd been over doing it, but lately he just had so much pent up energy that he really didn't feel like he had a choice. He needed to burn it off. It would come out in worse ways if he didn't... like explosions of his temper.

If he lost his temper then Luke would find more fault in him. It was a fine line to try to balance on.

Bracing his hands on the wall he huffed out a frustrated breath. Nothing he did had ever been good enough for anyone. Save perhaps Rey. IF he didn't have her he really didn't know what he would have done.

Rey... she was probably awake now. Impatiently waiting for him to get done. It made him smile just slightly to himself as he shut the water off and dried off so that he could get dressed for the day.

Except once he opened the door and stepped out he noticed that she was still asleep in bed... 

For a moment he just focused on drying his hair off the rest of the way before he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

"Rey." He reached a hand out and placed it on her shoulder. "It's getting late."

"Mm... get off." Rey snipped at him, slapping his hand off and startling him.

It took a moment to comprehend what had just happened. Rey didn't normally lose her temper with him in that way. She was always so well behaved... he really hadn't expected this from her, but he knew that if she lost her temper there had to be a good reason behind it.

He was especially concerned when she curled up into a ball and made a pained sound.

"Rey are you feeling alright-..." He trailed off when he realized that the pain that he felt earlier hadn't come from him. It was from Rey. 

Furrowing his brow he dropped a hand down to grab the blanket and pull it away, intending to check on her stomach when he spotted the blood covering the sheets and her pants.

It was a moment of pure panic. He quickly grabbed at her robes and pressed them up her stomach to check for injuries, but he spotted none there where he had felt the pain so he continued looking until he realized where the blood was coming from.

The groin area of her pants were soaked and it would be highly inappropriate for him to check where she might have been hurt in that region. He had no idea what had happened... how she had been hurt, but he didn't hesitate and reached under her to start to lift her up against him. 

"Ben..." Rey's voice was clearly clouded with pain, a sluggishness that told him something really wasn't right at all. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, sweetheart. It's alright... I'm going to get you to the med-droid. Everything is going to be fine." He pulled her into his arms, up against his chest and hurried over to the door. 

In his mind he was in full panic mode. He was terrified that about what was happening right now because he didn't have the faintest idea what was wrong. All he knew was the pain he felt from her was excruciating and that she was bleeding terribly. 

A couple of students were casually speaking, standing right in his way.

"Move!" He demanded, his tone was enough to make them spring out of his way as he rushed down the hall, skidded around the corner to the med-bay and hurried her inside to the first bed he could find.

The droid there beeped out something that he wasn't even paying attention to. The droids continued bothering him for several moments. All his focus was on Rey. He didn't even realize there were voices in the room until a hand reached up and jerked him away from the bedside and away from Rey.

"Ben Solo if you don't calm down this instant I'll rip this right off..." Voe scolded. "Are you trying to embarrass her running down the hall like a maniac and drawing everyone's attention?"

"What are you... let go!" Struggling was not a wise idea. He was very well aware that there wasn't any easy way to extricate himself from her hold.

"Not until you promise me you're going to step back and relax." 

"Calm down? Calm down? How can I calm down when Rey is-"

"Menstruating?"

"What...?" Ben paused at those words and tried to put two and two together to understand what Voe was telling him. He opened his mouth to say something, shut it and tried again only for the same result.

"You know... shedding the inner lining of her uterus? No pregnancy equals no need for uterine lining. Which equals bleeding each month." Voe sighed heavily. "Your mother never explained any of this to you?"

"My mother was always working." He answered somewhat awkwardly. "so... you mean..."

"Meaning... that Rey is a woman now." Luke's voice interrupted them and both looked up to see their master standing there. "The med-droid called. I've been told Ben is being difficult about Rey."

"Master Luke... I..." Ben straightened up right away, nervously trying to think of the best way to explain this entire situation.

"It's alright, Ben. I should have prepared for this. The fault lies with me." Luke sighed. "Voe you may return to your duties. Allow me to handle this. It would seem I have some explaining to do."  
  


* * *

  
After what was perhaps the most embarrassing conversation of Rey's entire life both she and Ben were both sitting in Luke's office. It would seem that this changed a great deal of things for the both of them.

"So you mean organs that I don't even have are hurting?" Ben asked quietly, causing Rey to place both her hands over her face in attempt to hide the embarrassment that she was feeling.

Of all the embarrassment she had ever faced in her young life this had to be the absolute worst. The fact that Ben had to suffer from her cramps really couldn't be any more uncomfortable.

"I'm afraid so. Force help us when her hormones start affecting your temper..." Luke smiled slightly, trying to be sympathetic, yet humorous to lighten the mood. If that were at all possible. "I think we can agree that it's time Rey moved into her own room."

"I don't understand why we need to do that." Ben huffed out, crossing his arms over his chest as he spoke.

"Rey isn't a child anymore. It would be inappropriate." 

"How? How is it inappropriate? I raised her. She's my family." 

"Ben..." Luke's tone was a warning and Ben snapped his mouth shut despite clearly wanting to argue more. "I can arrange for a room right down the hall. You don't have to be far, but you can't continue to sleep in the same room."

She was silent, but glanced between the two of them and watched Ben nod in defeat. It was enough that they had to have such an embarrassing conversation... now they had to learn that they couldn't even stay in the same room anymore. This deal kept getting worse all the time.

"I'd like to talk to Rey alone." Luke continued on.

Glancing over at Ben she saw how nervous he looked about that. Despite the nerves he knew that he had no choice and so he did slowly push himself up from the chair he was seated in and then made his way out of the office.

The silence that followed was deafening.

"Am I in trouble Master Luke?" Rey decided to finally ask what she was thinking.

"No. Of course not." He quickly eased her fears. "I just want to make sure that you're feeling alright. And that you understand the importance of having your own room now."

"I guess I do. In a way... but it doesn't matter how much I grow up. Ben only looks at me like a sister. He'll never have those kind of feelings for me." It was hard to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"But you do." Luke stated and Rey looked up at Luke in terror. It seemed it didn't matter how hard she tried to hide it. Luke quickly held a hand in front of him, keeping his tone as soothing as possible. "It's alright."

"I'm not in trouble?"

"Of course not, Rey. It isn't unusual to have a crush." A pause. "It is however important to keep those feelings in check. Those feelings for the people we care about can compromise our duty as Jedi."

"Is it obvious? Everyone is always pointing it out." She cringed at a sudden thought that crossed her mind. "Do you think Ben knows?"

"You tell me. Do you think Ben knows?" Luke smiled as he said it and Rey smiled slightly in return.

"No." She decided that Ben really had no idea. He seemed completely oblivious. She was both grateful and frustrated by the fact. "Ben is... really dense sometimes."

"That he is." Luke agreed. "I'm going to have the droids prepare your room for you. Right down the hall. Not too far from one another. Do you have any more questions?"

"None that I can think of."

"Then you can go. Relax for the rest of the day. No classes." As he said it he held a finger up to add to it with a teasing tone. "Just don't get used to it Missy. This is a one time exception."

Rey smiled again and nodded, standing and making her way out of Luke's office. Even if it was just one day off she was looking forward to sleeping some more. She was still so tired... but it had been explained to her that it was just a part of this whole process.

Once she arrived back at the room and stepped through the door she noticed Ben was removing the blankets and the sheets... and that it was her fault. If she had thought that today couldn't possibly get any more embarrassing then she had been completely wrong.

"I can help." She suggested, wanting more than anything to clean up her own mess.

"No. You're going to sit down and then you're going to rest." Ben left no room for argument, pointing to the chair. "How are you feeling?"

"Better after the pain medication."

"I'm glad." He finished replacing the sheets and the blankets.

It was awkward. She didn't actually know how to talk to him right now. Not when she felt so weird about everything and not when Ben was feeling what she was feeling. It was bad enough that she had to go through it, but he had to go through it with her? How could she ever look at him or talk to him again without thinking about this horrible situation?

Once she sat down on the bed he very carefully sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry." An apology was really all she could come up with.

"Why?" Ben's tone was one of genuine confusion.

"For everything. The mess. You feeling... all of that." 

"You don't need to apologize, Rey. I actually..." He paused and licked his lips as he thought of how to phrase it. "I like it. I like sharing this with you. N-not the whole... pain thing, but the fact that... if I know how you're hurting then I know what I need to do to help and to make you feel better."

Whatever she was expecting him to say that wasn't it. She never could have imagined that Ben would be so accepting of something that really wasn't any. She really thought that he might be angry about it. Especially knowing where it was coming from, what it was and the fact that it ruined his bed.

He remained at her side for a moment longer, but then eventually he stood and made his way to sit down at the desk.

"Don't you have class?" She was surprised that he wasn't going. Though she supposed she really shouldn't be.

"I'm not going today." He pulled one of the Jedi tomes from the shelf and placed it down, turning on GNN as he did so. Something he had taken to watching despite hating it as much as he did.

"You have to go. You can't miss classes because of me." Rey drew the blankets up around her shoulders. "I'll be fine. I'll just sleep."

"So sleep, but I'm not going anywhere." Ben pulled his calligraphy set down along with a piece of parchment so that he could take notes. "It wouldn't matter even if I attended. Luke is never going to allow me to become a Jedi."

"Ben..."

"You're more important." 

She sighed, but knew that there was no arguing with him at this point. She was far from the mood to argue so instead she just settled herself in bed while she watched him take notes from those old texts.

It was relaxing to watch him work. Enough that it started to soothe her into sleep. At least until the pain medication wore off and the ache returned, but even then Ben stopped in the middle of taking those important notes to provide her with a heating pad, a drink and some more medicine for the pain.

True to his word he took care of everything for her. Made her the most important thing. Without him she knew that she never would have managed to fall asleep and when she woke later in the evening he already had a tray of lunch waiting for her.

This would be their last day sharing a room. 


	11. Chapter 11

The cycle passed. Today was moving day. Both their friends -even if Ben didn't consider them friends- had come to help her move some of her things out into her new room and to help her decorate it.

Rose and Voe were more helpful with ideas than the boys were when it came to decorating ideas. Tai gave it his best shot, but he really couldn't quite come up with anything that was within her realm of taste.

And Ben stood there looking miserable outside the entire time. She didn't really want to move out of his room, but she also knew that it couldn't be helped. Luke wasn't giving them a choice in matters. It was something that they had to do.

Everyone else insisted to her that it was such a great thing that she had room to finally spread her wings. They acted as if Ben suffocated her. It wasn't even remotely true. He had always let her have the space that she needed.

She didn't think she would ever understand why everyone thought her relationship with Ben was so unhealthy. It was like they saw something that wasn't even there or that they were deliberately looking for flaws where there were none.

That wasn't to say their relationship didn't have tensed, strained moments. It would be a lie to say any relationship at all didn't have it's fair share of fights. The difference was that they always knew to apologize to one another after or how to make up for whatever silly argument they had.

"What about... this one..." Rose held up two separate color swatches. One pink and one green. It was no competition. Rey pointed to the green. She would like her room to be done in natural earthy tones. She never wanted to be reminded of the desert again. "You're right. Wild jungle theme it is."

This was the difference between her room and Ben's. His was just that same dull grey. He didn't bother to paint it or really do anything with it. She wished she had known before they were allowed to paint their rooms. She would have made Ben do his. A little color would do him some good.

Rey only paused to cast a glance back at Ben. She'd asked him to use his fancy handwriting to write out the Jedi code on a scroll she could hang on the wall so that she would never forget it. He was working diligently for her, but Tai was talking to him and she could tell that it was irritating him while he was trying to focus on getting the lines right.

Paige was working with Voe on deciding which of the flowers they had picked for her room were cuter. 

"Finn." Rose spoke up. "Help me get a few more things?"

That comment caught Paige's attention. She tried discreetly to look back at the two of them, eyeing her sister protectively. The two had been sneaking off a lot together... but she had been friends with Finn for awhile. She didn't think there was reason for Paige to be worried. She supposed though... that it was only natural to be worried about family.

"Now's your chance, Ben. Go talk to her." Tai nudged Ben, trying to urge him in Paige's direction. "After all you said it yourself... you're not a Jedi. What could it hurt?"

Rey tried to pretend she hadn't heard anything. Instead she worked on carefully applying some of the green paint to the wall across from them... but maybe she didn't like Tai so much anymore.

"Go... away..." Ben warned.

"Hey, Paige what do you think of Ben's work? Pretty cool, huh? Nobody writes like this anymore." Tai gained Paige's attention much to Ben's chagrin.

"I think it looks great." Paige complimented with a smile while Tai stepped aside to try to give the two of them a little space.

Ben said nothing, but his face was clearly flushed with color. Something that he attempted to hide by brushing his sleeve over his cheek as if he was just scratching an itch without smearing ink on his skin. 

Still Rey bit her lip and tried her best not to pay attention to how painfully obvious his feelings for Paige were. Even without their bond it was clear to her just how much he liked Paige.

Which brought about another series of questions. Did Paige know that Ben liked her? If she did would she return his feelings?

Maybe the better question was... how could she not? Ben was the most handsome man that she had ever seen and she had witnessed plenty of men coming in and out of Nimma outpost. Not a single one came close to comparing to the way that he looked.

Then again perhaps their bond caused her a little bias.

Regardless the thought of Ben and Paige ending up together made her feel a little sick. It was something that she couldn't even stomach thinking about. Yet it was something that she would very likely have to face in the near future.

Especially now that she wasn't living with Ben anymore. Now that his space was empty he could fill it up with Paige instead. Maybe he would even forget all about her just like her parents had...

"Rey..." Ben's voice pulled her from her thoughts. His hand had stilled on the parchment and he was giving her that knowing look. The one that expressed he knew that something was bothering her.

"Sorry. I'm just nervous about sleeping alone tonight." It was a lie, but it wasn't as if she could tell him the truth of the matter.

"I can stay-" Ben started, but Tai clapped a hand down on his shoulder.

"Not... if you don't want Luke to rip you a new one."

"Tai is right. It isn't worth you getting into trouble with Luke. I need to get used to sleeping on my own." Although even as she said it the idea of having to sleep alone for the first time in years made her uneasy.

"I should check on Rose." Paige clearly looked worried about her sister.

"I can go." Tai immediately offered up, very clearly trying to keep Paige her to give Ben a shot at asking her out, which left Voe sighing and dropping her paint brush. It seemed she wasn't happy with him, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out the door.

"Are all Jedi so odd?" Paige laughed as she said it and Ben smiled, offering a faint shrug.

Rey did her best to ignore them. To continue brushing the green paint onto the wall, but it was impossible not to notice the way that Paige set a hand on Ben's shoulder and trailed from one to the other as she passed by him on her way out.

It was a very deliberate touch. It shouldn't really surprise her. Who wouldn't want to press their hands into those muscles that he had built up over the years? Except it hit a little harder when he brushed his hand over his shoulder where Paige had touched him.

She had to really focus her attention on the wall in front of her then. She couldn't look at Ben or let him detect any of her feelings. It all had to be very delicately tucked away in a dark corner.

A moment passed before she heard the chair creak under his weight as he moved to stand before making his way over towards her.

"Let me help." Just as he reached for a brush she shoved him with an elbow.

"Don't. Go away." It was hard for her not to be hurt. She knew that she wasn't being fair, but seeing Ben with Paige gave her the worst, gut wrenching feeling that she'd ever felt before.

He was silent. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he tried to figure out the best way to respond.

"Is there something else you want me to do?"

Rey paused, sighed as she lowered the brush. It was hard to try to keep her emotions in check like a good padawan just as it was impossible not to feel some resentment towards Paige. Where did she get off touching Ben? It wasn't as if Paige shared a force bond with Ben. It wasn't as if she shared a half of her soul with him. Paige would never be able to have what she had with Ben. Nobody would.

"I'm just nervous about moving." She tried to play it off as something so simple as that. It wasn't, but perhaps that added to the way she was feeling now.

"Okay." Ben sounded as if he wasn't sure. He didn't make any attempt to argue regardless of what he might be thinking. "Ah, I almost forgot... you can't forget this."

Holding out that same worn Tooka doll he'd given to her years ago she hesitated. It was something that she wasn't sure about. It worried her to take this when she felt that he was going to need it more.

"Won't you need it without me?" She very carefully reached out for it and brushed one of the ears back. She remembered when he gave it to her. She took care of it as well as she had promised. It was nicer than anything she had on Jakku.

"No. I want you to have it." 

She carefully turned to place it onto the bed, took a moment to sit down and really look around her new room. It was all hers. She should be happy. She could do whatever she wanted with it, but... it would still be missing Ben.

"Thank you." As she spoke he slowly made his way over to sit next to her. 

"I think... they've abandoned us." He mentioned, noting that nobody had returned yet. Not that he minded.

"The room is almost done anyway." Rey didn't think she needed any more help. Everyone had already done so much for her. "Was Paige worried because Rose kisses Finn?"

"Uhm." Ben folded his hands together in his lap and glanced down at them, pressing his lips together in a thin line as he tried his best to think up what to say. "It's... a little more than that, but Finn is studying to become a Jedi. He really shouldn't be kissing anyone... if it was anyone else I would have reported him."

The fact that it was because Rose was Paige's sister and Ben didn't want to get her into trouble along with Finn went unstated, but was very clearly the reason why.

"I don't see what's so bad about it. Why do we need rules about kissing?"

"It's not-..." He sighed and then crossed his arms. "The rule for not forming attachments or... being romantic is there for a good reason. As Jedi we have to put the good of everyone above ourselves... the problem is that... if we have to pick between a group of civilians or the person we love... we're going to pick the person that we love. Doing that betrays everything we stand for."

"That makes sense." Rey supposed she understood the rule when he put it that way... except they were Jedi and they were very attached to one another. "What about us?"

"We're different. The Force decided to bond us. That's why Luke can't say anything. He can't deny the will of The Force." 

"So you would abandon your duty and pick me over other people?"

"Yes." He answered without a second of hesitation and it startled her, because she hadn't actually expected he would admit that he would pick her over his duty.

If there was one thing that he was obsessed with it was his duty above all else. It was why Ben had become something of an irritant to the padawans. He wasn't above turning them in for breaking the rules. It was why they called him Luke's watch dog.

She also knew that Ben wasn't a liar. He wouldn't have said it if he hadn't meant it. 

"So how will we ever do out duty as Jedi?" 

"Try not to allow ourselves to end up in a situation where we have to chose." He could only give that answer to her. "If we share a soul... I'm not sure that... we could even survive without the other."

The idea went unsaid, but she understood what he meant by it. If one died the other surely had to. Even though that should scare her it didn't. If something happened she didn't want to have to live in a galaxy where he didn't exist anymore.

A moment passed between them. Until they both knew that it was probably time for them to part ways for the night. It made her nervous in a lot of different ways. Still there was no choice. This was something they had to do.

Ben leaned over to hug her goodbye before he forced himself to pull back. As he stepped through the door he paused to glance back at her over his shoulder, hesitated... but did finally step through the rest of the way and let it slide close with a certain finality. 

She took a deep breath and carefully placed the tooka on her pillow, situated in a place where it wouldn't fall or become lost as she settled into her own bed for the first time. 

A rumble of thunder somewhere in the distance was followed by the light patter of rain outside the window. She was suddenly glad that she was no longer afraid of storms as she had been when she had first arrived here. It rained so much on this planet that she had just become used to it. Relaxed even.

Tonight however... it didn't seem to do anything to help her sleep. As she turned over onto her side she realized that the pillow and the blankets only smelled like clean laundry. It was so strange that it lacked that warm, comforting smell of coffee which she would forever associate with Ben.

Maybe she needed to steal his pillow at the very least.

Another thought made it even worse. What if Ben had Paige in his room with him right now since she wasn't there to get in his way?

Sighing deeply she turned again onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Even then she wasn't comfortable. All that she could do was try to turn over yet again and make her best attempt at falling asleep.

It didn't seem to matter. No matter how many times she turned over or what position she took she couldn't fall asleep. Eventually the sky began to turn a light blue. Signaling that she had been unsuccessful in sleeping that night.

So it seemed that her attempts had ended in failure. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Just as predicted she nearly fell asleep in class at least three times. Her only saving grace was Jannah being able to nudge her before Tekka noticed her drifting off. If it wasn't for her friend she was sure she'd have faced some sort of disciplinary action. Tekka was a strict teacher after all. 

At least he was finally wrapping up the class and they had sparring next. That was physical. It was movement. Rey felt she stood a better chance of staying awake for that than she did listening to an old man read a dreadfully boring book.

"Are you alright, Rey?" Jannah asked quietly, carefully gathering up her datapad and bringing it along as they stepped out into the hall.

"Fine. Sleeping in a new place is strange." She wanted to pass it off as that rather than admitting that she couldn't go one night without pathetically missing Ben.

"Looks like Solo didn't fair any better." 

Rey paused as they arrived in the practice room to turn her attention to him. Ben looked awful... he clearly hadn't slept either. If the dark circles under his eyes and the fact he appeared to be utterly exhausted was anything to go by, but... it had to be more than that. He looked... particularly stressed.

As much as she wanted to ask if he was alright it would have to wait until after practice. They weren't allowed to talk to one another when they were practicing or studying. All their attention had to be on their duties.

However that clearly wasn't going to go the way she thought. When Paige quietly stepped into the room and went straight to Ben to pull him aside it tore all her attention from what she should be doing right now.

It brought a lot of questions that she feared knowing the answers to... did they get closer now that she wasn't in the way? Had they spent the night together in his room? It had to be the case as much as she dreaded it. Paige never really took time out to come and speak with Ben directly. They exchanged hellos from time to time... but they weren't generally close even if Ben spent his time admiring her from afar.

"Finn is late again." Jannah sighed, placed her hands on her hips and shook her head. "At this rate Luke is going to hold him back like he did with Solo."

Rey forced herself to focus on pulling her sparring gear on, starting with the waist and hip guard, moving onto to chest guard next, making sure that she aligned it properly with the waist guard the way that Ben had taught her.

The helmet came next and then finally the gloves with the left glove coming first.

"I have something new for you all." Luke announced. "For our session today our knighted students will be testing your skill."

Those Jedi knights just so happened to be Tai, Voe and Hennix. This was just what she needed. Rey smiled slightly at the idea that she was going to get a chance to take on a real challenge for once. The students her age weren't really a match for her.

"Alright, Rey... you're with me." Hennix stepped forward, placing a hand at his hip and drawing his practice saber.

"I'll take it easy on you." Rey teased and Hennix chuckled in amusement.

If there was one thing that she knew it was that she was small than Hennix. He was physically more powerful than her so she was going to have to outsmart him with wit and speed.

The mistake that Hennix made was to come playfully forward. He didn't take this attempt very seriously at all. So she used it to her advantage... quickly drew forward aggressively with a sharp, powerful jab.

That motion forced Hennix into a quick, panicked defense. Now that she had him on his toes she knew that she had to keep him there. She didn't let up, pushed aggressively with her saber to keep forcing him back. It was clear that he hadn't ever expected this from a padawan.

All so was focused on was beating Hennix... Ben was the only other padawan that had ever beat a knight in combat. She wanted to be on equal footing with him. Wanted to become the best that she could possibly so all her focus was on Hennix and avoiding his attempted strikes back.

She failed to notice the way that the other padawans and jedi had to clear the floor so that they could stay out of the way. Nor the way Ben stalked along the edge of the ring to keep an eye on her or how Luke and Tekka took full interest of the duel.

"Form seven. Juyo." Tekka mentioned quietly, leaving Luke to sigh deeply and cross his arms.

"Rey, Sun djem." Luke commanded.

The command took a moment to get through the haze of the duel, but once Rey caught on she quickly swung own with all her might on Hennix's practice saber and knocked it from his hand, disarming him and essentially doing what was nearly impossible and defeating a Jedi.

Hennix stuttered, unable to come up with anything to say. He was so thrown off that Tekka had to approach and set a hand on his shoulder, urge him back a step while Ben approached her to kneel at her side and help her remove the protective helmet.

"I'm proud of you." Ben informed her, offering up that crooked smile of his. "He underestimated you and paid for it."

It wasn't until she attempted to answer that she realized how hard she was breathing. She had to catch her breath first. That duel had taken everything out of her. She had wanted so badly to win though that she had to give it her all. She felt like it was more important now than it had ever been to prove herself.

"You did very well, Rey." Luke complimented, pausing to tap her on the nose. "Although I think we'll work on remembering to breathe. Alright class... who's next?"

"Why Juyo?" Ben asked softly as he worked to untie her chest guard and help her pull it off.

"Not everyone has the brute strength for Djem So." She responded, because as much as she wanted to take after Ben she didn't really think Djem So was for her.

"You don't need brute strength. You were like a little vornskr."

Rey scoffed at the comment, but otherwise didn't say anything and just allowed Ben continue to help pull her sparring gear off. Once it was off she did place a hand against his to stop him from moving.

"Ben, are you alright?" 

"I-..." He sighed. "I just didn't sleep well. Bad dreams."

"You're having nightmares again?" It was strange to think that they had started again after having left him alone for so long. "Are the voices back?"

"I hope not..." 

That was troubling. Perhaps sleeping in separate rooms wasn't such a great idea, but then what could see even do? Luke wasn't going to change his mind. She just hoped that he was going to be alright if the nightmares had returned. 

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Did you?" He countered, perhaps to take the attention off himself. Though she supposed that it was just as obvious that she hadn't slept last night either.

"Not really. I think I'll feel better once I have something to eat." Food made everything better. At least for her. Ben acted like eating was a chore that annoyed him. Ben however had always had access to food. Unlike her. They viewed it very differently. "Are you coming?"

"No. I want to meditate for a little while first." He opened up the door to head down the hall straight to one of the empty training rooms for peace and quiet.

Ben wanted to meditate. Now she really knew that something was bothering him. As much as she wanted to eat she knew now that there was no way she was going to be able to do that. She would be too worried about him. 

So with a little huff she followed after him.

"I'll join you then."

"Why? You said you would feel better if you had something to eat. Go eat. Don't worry about me." Opening up the door to the room he made his way inside and very slowly found a place to sit down.

"If you told me what was bothering you maybe I would worry less." She answered while dropping down to sit beside him.

There was no response. He simply made a point to close his eyes and focus on meditation there next to her. When he didn't answer Rey sighed and waited a moment or two before she leaned over and very deliberately bumped her shoulder into his.

He was silent for a moment, peeked an eye open at her. Scoffing at her attempt he closed his eyes again... and so she waited before promptly bumping her shoulder into his once more.

"Rey..."

It was her turn to give him the silent treatment. If he wasn't going to open up to her then she wasn't going to justify it with an answer. Sighing he finally went back into a meditative stance... and gave her a chance to once again nudge him while he was trying to focus.

"You're such a brat!" It seemed that it was one nudge too much, because the next thing she knew she was pushed back against the the soft mats and pinned under him. It wasn't what she'd expected him to do.

"I wouldn't need to be if you would talk to me..." The position that he put her left her feeling somewhat uncomfortable. Though not for the reasons one might think so she tried to shift out from under him only to have him grab either wrist and pin them to the mats.

"Now what are you going to do?" He waited patiently while she did her best to try to squirm out from under him, but it didn't work and Ben furrowed his brow."I never taught you how to get out of this position did I?"

"There's no way I'm moving a hundred and ninety pounds, Ben." She knew how much he weighed and she knew that moving him wasn't going to happen. He was far too big to move for someone as small as she was.

"You're not moving me. You're redistributing my weight. Okay?"

"Okay..." Rey took a breath, because she wasn't completely sure about this in more ways than one. Maybe straddling her waist didn't have any effect on him, but it most definitely affected her.

"I'm going to walk you through it..." He continued on, but his words started to sort of fade out and all she could really focus on was the way that he leaned over her in demonstration of something that she didn't really understand. "Rey?"

"Huh?"

"You're not paying attention." Ben sighed deeply and sat up, scrubbing a hand roughly down his face in frustration. "Normally I would say it's fine, but this time it's not. This is important. You need to pay attention."

"Sorry. I'm still tired." She passed it off as something so simple as that and perhaps it had a little something to do with it. Even if it was mostly the fact that she had only ever daydreamed of moments like this with him... albeit a bit differently.

"Pay close attention this time." His tone came across very seriously. "I have your wrists pinned and gravity is on my side. You can't push back against me, but what you can do is bring your elbows down into my knees."

"How does that help?" She couldn't see what it was going to do, but she did was he requested... or tried.

"No. Put effort into it. Harder. Fast. Once you've done that immediately after you need to thrust up with your hips."

"What? I can't do that!" Rey was sure her face had just turned completely red. There was no way she was doing anything of the sort.

"Yes, you can. Bring your feet close up to your butt. Get yourself some more leverage. You have to bring your elbows down into my knees and that will set me off balance... I'll have to put my hands forward to catch myself and prevent a face plant... use that. Push me up with your hips and further off balance." 

"Ben..."

"I'm not getting off until you do it." 

Rey had to stop and roll her eyes, as embarrassed as she was did he have to use the worst possible wording? It seemed that she had no choice though so she made sure that she brought her elbows down into his knees, fast and hard while shoving upwards with her hips... it did throw him off balance.

"Okay. Good. Next... think about what happens to a table if you cut off a leg and push it forward." He elaborated further. "Trap my arm with yours, bring that in against me, take your other hand and put it to my stomach on the opposite side. You're going to push me up and over. Go."

This took a lot of focus and effort. She knew that she needed to really get this right otherwise he wasn't going to give up. He seemed like he really wanted her to know how to get out of this sort of situation... so she was giving it her best shot, following the steps, quick and fast.

Elbows into his knees. Hips up. Arm trapped. Hand against his muscled stomach that she tried not to linger on too long. A push sent him over.

"Again." 

This was something he made her run over and over and over. Until she got it perfect. Until Rey had to stop to take a breath all while hoping that he thought her face was red simply because it was a workout rather than for any other reason.

"Actually..." She began, looking up at him as he sat back and tilted his head to the side curiously. "I think I know another way out."

"What's that?" 

Before could ask anything else she quickly reached up to graze her fingers along his sides, places that she had learned over the years were particularly sensitive and Ben let out a strangled noise, tried to keep the sound in, but at the same time leaning over and squirming to escape her instead of the other way around.

"You're ticklish." She reminded triumphantly, as much as he tried to act like he wasn't the strangled sound of laughter that he was trying to keep in gave him away.

The hiss of the door sliding open brought them both to a sudden pause. Ben straightened up and glanced over his shoulder while she tried to look around him. 

"What are are you doing?" Rose stood there, raising a brow as she looked over the two of them while somewhere behind her Finn very slowly inched back and away, trying and failing to stay hidden.

"Not what you two were coming here for." Ben huffed out, clearly irritated with the two of them. "I'm teaching Rey ground techniques. How to get an opponent off of her."

"Is that a joke?" Finn peeked his head around the corner now that it was clear his presence was already known. "That size difference is impossible. Your thigh is as big as her entire body. How exactly is she meant to get out?"

Wrong choice of words. Rose place her hands on her hips and slowly turn towards Finn with such a glare that he actually flinched. Rose might be tiny, but she was fierce.

"Excuse me? Are you saying small women can't fight?" 

"No, of course not!"

As the two had their little lovers quarrel Ben sighed and stood, offering his hand out to help her up. Once she took it he pulled her up and onto her feet as if she were weightless... to him she supposed that she was.

Ben gently placed a hand at her back and guided her out and past the arguing couple. It was a brief little touch, but even small touches felt like the greatest thing in the world when they came from him. For such a big man he was very graceful. Gentle.

And those hugs. If there was one sure fact in this galaxy... it was that Ben Solo gave the absolute best hugs. 

On the way to breakfast she did glance up at Ben for a moment and while he didn't look at her he did raise a brow, clearly sensing that she was staring... it was a question that made her a big nervous to ask for some reason. It was so simple... she knew he wouldn't say no... so why was it so difficult to get the words out?

"Ben..." She began carefully. "Could I steal your pillow?"

"Mmm..." He glanced at her for a moment. "I won't stop you if that's what you want to do."

Just as easy as she had thought that it would be. She felt that if she just had something of his with her that she might be able to get some sleep tonight. It wasn't the same as having him at her side, but it was better than nothing.

Arriving in the mess hall was a blast of noise. Conversation here and there. Tai noticed them and was immediately waving them over, though not speaking with a full mouth... otherwise she new he'd have plenty to say.

Ben muttered under his breath as he grabbed a tray and handed it to her and then his own... he picked a few things out that he was most interested, looking to take as long as possible in hopes that they would finish eating and he wouldn't have to speak with them.

No luck. By the time they had gotten their fill they were still there, leaving Ben no choice other than to go and sit with them. If he didn't... he quickly learned from experience that Tai would join them at whatever table they took up.

"So how was your first night, Rey?" Tai's friendly question caught her off guard.

"Oh, uhm... fine."

"We've got our first big assignment." 

Ben's mouth twisted up on one side and he shoved a spoonful into his mouth. It was his way of not speaking with them. She could feel the irritation radiating off of him... he wanted to be a Jedi so badly.

Both Hennix and Voe were more focused on the HoloNet than they were on the conversation... Ben gave it a glance, but otherwise didn't linger too long on it other than giving a roll of his eyes as he saw what was playing out.

"They're voting for the First Senator tonight." Hennix mentioned, eyeing Ben as he said it, because his mother was running for First Senator and they all thought he would take more interest. It didn't get a reaction. Ben just kept eating.

"I hope a Centrists wins." Voe decided as she watched the screen.

"What?! A Centirst? We need a Populist." Hennix argued immediately. "If the Centrists win they'll remove the Force given sovereignty from the planets aligned with the Republic."

"Maybe we need a central power. Things are chaotic the way they are right now. Populist are too soft on law and order."

"Are you kidding? It sounds to me like you want another tyrannical Empire."

"Of course not! But you can't deny that the Empire kept the peace. We can take the good and leave the bad."

"At what costs!? Destroying the galaxy's freedom? Killing those who disagreed? Burning archives?"

"Guys!" Tai cut in, slinging an arm around both friends on either side of him. "Calm down... we're Jedi not politicians. Ben... what do you think?"

At this Ben paused in his eating and Rey watched him roll his eyes.

"They're both stupid." Ben came straight out and said it, leaving both Hennix and Voe with dropped jaws.

"But your mother is a Populist." Hennix countered. "You were born in Chandrila."

"I hated Chandrila." He continued, gesturing with his spoon intensely at the HoloNet. "Chandrilans are haughty, pedantic, and obsessed with politics. First Senator... Chancellor... it doesn't matter. It's just a title. Nothing will change. They'll still be a bunch of overpaid old men that spend all their time arguing and getting nothing done while the common people suffer."

Rey smiled just slightly, because it was funny to hear Ben actually talking about politics when she knew just how much he despised doing so. They were padawans after all and the Jedi academy did not teach nor focus on politics. They were there to protect the galaxy not pick sides.

Although if anyone new best about politics she supposed it must be Ben since he grew up in that environment what with his mother being a Senator.

"Look what happened after the Napkin bombing... it took a day for them to get at each other's throats over it. Populist accused the Centrists of trying to eliminate their rivals. Centrists accused the Populists of deliberately putting themselves in danger to paint themselves as victims... and biased media outlets reported either one of those theories according to their political affinities." 

"Not all, Ben. The Ithorian news service is convinced the Hutts were behind it." Tai mentioned with a cheeky smile.

It was the one thing that actually eased some tension between the group of friends and left them laughing quietly, while Ben didn't laugh he did roll his eyes once more as the corner of his mouth quirked upwards.

However the debate on the HoloNet became loud.

“Princess Leia’s lies have protected her long enough. Her deception cannot be permitted to endanger the entire galaxy. If people are considering electing her as First Senator, they have the right to know exactly who they’re voting for.” A younger Senator by the name of Ransolm had begun. This caught Ben's attention and Rey watched the way his eyes narrowed at someone calling his mother a liar. It angered him... however this were no words for what came next. “Senator Leia Organa is none other than the daughter of Darth Vader himself!”  
  
The entire mess hall had gone dead silent and every single student there had their eyes on Ben all of a sudden.

“This is a lie!” Another Senator. Varish was his name shouted. “A filthy, outrageous lie, and one Senator Organa will rise to deny!”

Ben exhaled slowly and locked his eyes on the screen. Rey wasn't sure what to think... she heard stories of Darth Vader... but Ben couldn't be...? Could he? She did the only thing that she could and reached out to take his hand under the table, felt him squeeze her hand in return.

“I do not come without proof.” This Ransolm character continued. “I will now present my evidence for everyone to hear, so that they can all know how close we came to allowing Lord Vader’s daughter to rule over us all.”  
  
The man then held up a box for everyone to see and while Rey didn't know what it was or what it meant she could see recognition in Ben's eyes. He knew what it was. A whisper of his thoughts told her it was a keepsake from Alderaan.

The Senator... Ransolm... he opened the box and a tune began to play. Mirrorbright. This tune Rey knew. It was something Ben would sing to her when she was young... when she couldn't sleep. What came next was the voice of a man long dead.  
  
Bail Organa's voice spoke from the box. “Your father has become Darth Vader.”  
  
The entire Senate floor began to shout and the murmuring of the students in the mess hall began as well... and the spoon Ben held dropped from his hands... his strength lost... but it was barely heard over the rising voices in the mess hall.

"Ben... I think you need to go..." Tai suggested, standing up, getting ready to defend Ben and keep the other students at bay. Hennix and Voe however were looking skeptical until Tai snapped at them. "What are you doing? We're Jedi. It doesn't matter who he is. We're here to keep the peace."

It was enough to get the two of them up to do their duty.

The door slid open and both Luke and Tekka stepped through. They must have heard the broadcast. 

"Ben." Luke gestured for him to come along.

Normally Ben would have hesitated... but he was up and heading towards Luke right away because there were questions that he needed answers to. Rey glanced between him and the rest of the students... it was going to hurt her in the eyes of the other students... still... she knew it was worth it. She followed after Ben.

"Is is true?" Ben asked once they were alone in the hallway. "Is Darth Vader my grandfather?"

"Yes." Luke had to answer with the truth, but there was something in the way he looked at him that felt unsettling. "I think you need to stay away from the rest of the students until they've had time to calm down... some of them had families burned by him. There are a few huts nearby... I'll have your things moved to one of them."

"It will be safer." Tekka agreed, knowing that things were going to be heated now that this knowledge had been spilled out to the entire galaxy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ben's frustration was clear in his voice, but Luke only shook his head in response. He couldn't even answer.

"Ben... please just prepare your room. I need to get ahold of your mother. Her career... the academy... they're both in danger." Luke started towards his office, then stopped and held up that gloved, robotic hand. "Rey... keep your distance from Ben. We don't need a target made of you too."

From there Luke headed in the direction of his office and Tekka went into the mess hall in some attempt to calm things down.

Rey took a breath and glanced up at Ben. His entire world had just been further shattered... and she wanted to be there for him, but as she reached out, brushed the back of his hand he took a step away from her.

"No, Rey... Luke is right... I don't want them to hurt you to get to me... just for a little while... stay away from me." Another step back. "I need to think."

This was the first time that Ben had ever asked for time apart from her. So she watched him as he went the opposite direction. As he waked away she feared that something truly terrible was going to happen... a true disturbance in the force.

* * *

The rest of her classes seemed to be thrown off completely. Everyone was whispering about Ben and the fact that he was Vader's spawn. She hated hearing those things about him... though at least unlike Sindian and his gang the students her age were afraid of Ben and they would never dare say it to his face.

After classes it wasn't any better... she just knew that she wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight. It would be even worse... she would be worried about something happening to him... 

So taking a deep breath she snatched up her pillow and started out. She had to be careful... it was after hours... but some students still lingered around late at night. She couldn't be caught tonight... Ben needed her.

The halls seemed empty enough as she slipped out of her room cautiously. She had to continue on down the hall as quickly as she could without making too much noise. So far so good.

She managed to make it down the halls and out the door. Now that Tai, Hennix and Voe were off planet. Heading away on that mission they were undertaking... it made it that much easier to get by with the experienced Jedi gone now.

Now that she was outside she didn't worry as much. She doubted she was going to be caught... nobody should be out this late. Save for a droid or two and they were easier to avoid than a trained Jedi. A droid could be fooled.

The hut was out of the way, but as she approached it she noticed Sindian stepping out of the jungle. Both stopped upon spotting one another. His eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms defensively. They stood there in a silent stand off for several long moments until finally he seemed to realize they were both breaking rules and in the same situation.

"Why don't you forget you saw me and I won't tell Skywalker that you're sneaking off to Solo's bed." It was the way that Sindian said it that made her so angry, but... at the same time she knew that she should take what she was given.

"Fine."

"Good." 

It was an odd exchange. She didn't understand what Sindian could have been doing out there. The jungle and the temples were forbidden to them. She supposed that it didn't matter... she had to overlook it for now. Ben was far more important.

Reaching the door of the hut had her hesitating. Rey wondered if she should be bothering him... surely he'd had enough time to think by now. Again she lifted her hand and knocked, waited there until finally the door opened.

Ben opened the door and to her surprise he wasn't even fully dressed. The front of his tunic hung open to reveal the full expanse of his chest and stomach and that thin, dark line of hair that disappeared into his waistband. 

"Rey...?" His voice brought her out of the haze and she shook her head. Right. She shouldn't be staring at him like that. Lifting her gaze she realized his hair was damp. He must have showered.

"You promised we could trade pillows." It was just her excuse of course... and... why were his pants slung so low on his hips? She had to really struggle to keep her eyes on his face instead of staring at other parts of him that she knew she really shouldn't be.

"Ah." He took a step back to let her into the room, reaching up to tie the front of his tunic closed now that she was here. She hoped it wasn't because he noticed her staring. "I'm sorry that I forgot. I had to move everything out here... and then I got caught up in my thoughts."

"It isn't your fault. I think I would go crazy if I found out my grandfather was a Sith Lord." Rey offered Ben a gentle smile, but there was something in his eyes... something in the way he groaned and rubbed a hand over his mouth as he dropped to sit on the old, creaky bed. "That doesn't sound as comfortable as ours."

"It isn't..."

"Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." She realized that the expression must be related to how upset he surely had to be having learned something that devastating. 

"It's alright."

"How are you feeling...?" Sitting on the bed next to him she tried to gauge his reaction.

"I don't know... to tell you the truth. I guess... it makes sense why everyone always expected the worst of me." His answer came out softly as he reached over for his calligraphy set, pulling it all over so that he could work on that for a little while. Keep his mind occupied with a bit of a distraction. Ben was perhaps the only one left in the galaxy that liked to record his insights in the form of handwritten documents. 

It was hard to think about leaving him again so soon, but she knew that they really weren't allowed to remain together so she reached over to place her pillow near his and retrieve his... at least... she would have this.

"I should go." She informed quietly and noticed that his hand stop moving across the paper. It seemed that it bothered him to know she would be leaving. "Right?"

"Are you asking me?" It almost sounded like he was amused.

"Or maybe I could stay. Just for tonight. So that we can both get some sleep for class tomorrow." If it was just for herself she didn't think that she would have suggested it. Right now however... they were both struggling to adjust to being away from one another... on top of the fact that he just found out that his grandfather was a Sith Lord... his mother might lose everything... his entire life had been turned upside down.

"Maybe just for tonight..."

The fact that he agreed without arguing about the rules told her everything that she needed to know. It really was bothering him no matter how hard he was trying to hide it all from her... so she decided that it was better for both of them if she stayed. Just for tonight.

Ben closed the book he'd been scribbling in and set it aside before he grabbed another blanket for her. 

They didn't stay up too much longer as they had lost sleep the night before. Both were eager to get some rest after the emotional roller coaster of a day that they'd had. 

It was quieter out here in this little hut. A world away from the academy it seemed, but it was understandable why Luke wanted to keep Ben away from the other students right now. It might be dangerous for him to remain close to them.

With the lights out they both fell asleep almost immediately... however... during the night something woke her. It wasn't Ben's warmth wrapped around her... no... it was something else. A hiss. A warm green glow.

Furrowing her brow Rey opened her eyes and glanced up... only to find Luke standing there over the bed with his lightsaber ignited. Her heart tightened painfully in her chest when she saw him there.

"Master Luke..." Her voice seemed to take Luke out of whatever strange trance that he was in and he quickly deactivated his saber... but that didn't matter... Ben jolted awake. Took a moment or two to process what he was seeing.

"Uncle Luke? This isn't... I know how this looks..." And Ben was sitting up right away, moving away from her and explaining himself right away, under the assumption Luke was here because Rey was missing from her room.

"Save it." Luke quickly turned and hurried out of the hut. Rey knew that she couldn't leave this alone. She threw her blankets off and quickly hurried out the door after Luke. 

"Stop!" Rey demanded. It didn't work. So Rey snatched a rock off the ground and threw it at the back of the Jedi Master's head. It struck him and then he turned on her immediately. "You were going to murder him."

"I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I've seen it in moments during his training. But when I looked inside it was beyond what I ever imagined." Luke began. " For the briefest moment of pure instinct, I thought I could stop it."

"If I hadn't been there..."

"I know. I know that."

"It was a nightmare." Rey justified whatever it was that Luke saw. She knew the darkness he spoke of... she saw it inside of Ben as well, but she also saw the good parts of him that everyone seemed to overlook. "They stopped for awhile... then you made us part ways and they've started again... and you... you have that... same darkness..."

"Excuse me?" Luke's offense to her words blinded him to her meaning.

"I mean that... thing... that inky blackness inside of him. Whatever was causing those nightmares... it was surrounding you too." Rey could see it clearly. Something else was here... trying to put uncle and nephew against one another.

"Me?" There was a moment of perhaps clarity for Luke when she phrased it the way that she had. "Rey... you can never tell Ben about this. He can never know. He'll think that I-"

"I won't. On one condition." Her words caused Luke's eyes to narrow and she struggled not to allow her nervousness to show through. Instead she tilted her chin up at him defiantly. "You allow Ben to become a Jedi."

"Are you threatening me? A Jedi Master?"

"Yes." 

"You are like him." Luke stated, his meaning unknown to her.

It was impossible to say how long the stand off would have lasted, because Ben was finally stumbling out the door and headed towards the two of them.

"Uncle Luke... I'm sorry I-" Ben shut his mouth the moment Luke held his hand up to silence him.

"Go back to bed. The both of you... we'll talk about this in the morning." With that Luke was making his retreat once more.

Rey exhaled slowly in relief. She hadn't been sure what would happen to her threatening the legendary Luke Skywalker the way that she had. It seemed his shame and guilt over what had happened gave her leverage against him... she would use it even if she knew that she shouldn't. Ben deserved a chance. She wanted to give it to him.

"Is he really mad?" Ben questioned, shifting from one foot to the other.

"I... he sensed your nightmare and came to check on you..." Rey informed him. It wasn't a total lie. Luke had sensed whatever horrible nightmare that Ben had and mistook it for something else... or... something wanted Luke to take a nightmare for something else. "We should get back to bed... it's late..."

"Yeah... yeah... okay." He let out a shaky exhale and ran a hand back through his hair as he turned back. 

As Rey stepped back into the hut and crawled back into bed with him she had to wonder... who or what was that shadow? Who was trying to manipulate Luke and Ben to pit them against one another?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We're finally getting into the thick of it. Leia's secrete is revealed. Ben knows the truth and Rey has made a ballsy move against Luke for Ben.
> 
> I know this took a long time, but I received a comment telling me I write Ben like 'a little bitch' so I had to take some time to reevaluate. If that's how he's coming across I am not doing my job as a writer. I was on a roll with my writing and unfortunately that took the wind right out of my sails.
> 
> As for everyone that commented... though I write for free your comments are like receiving a paycheck. So thank you for taking the time to comment on this story.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things are going really well... until they aren't...

  
"This way."

Lor San Tekka's gravely voice instructed as he led Ben down the hallway and towards the judgement room. Otherwise known as the council room, but Ben thought judgement fit it a whole lot better considering that's where he was lectured and scolded every time he did something wrong.

Once the doors closed behind them they were engulfed in complete darkness. Tekka's hand at his shoulder urged him down, onto his knees to kneel.

"The Force speaks through us. Through our actions, the Force proclaims itself and what is real. Today we are here to acknowledge what the Force has proclaimed." Lor San Tekka spoke in the darkness.

"This is a weird way to punish me-" His words were cut off when Luke's green saber ignited in front of him and caused him to jump. He hadn't expected his uncle to be right there in front of him that way... or the way that he slowly brought his saber down near his shoulder, closer than he might have liked.

"By the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, I dub thee Ben Solo... Jedi, Knight of the New Republic." Luke's words took his breath away. That was what this was? He was... he was being knighted? Now? Why? "You may rise."

"Congratulations." Tekka added, but his mind was a thousand light years away.

A Jedi Knight. He had finally been knighted.

* * *

Last night was another sleepless night thanks to that monster interfering in their lives once more. It made it so much more difficult to pay attention to the boring lesson the droid was rambling on about... just as she felt herself drifting the door and Ben stepped into the room looking winded.

"Rey, I need to talk to you." He must have run the entire way. It woke her up. She hoped that nothing bad had happened... 

As she pushed herself up from her desk she noticed the way the other students looked at her as if she had been given a death sentence to go with Ben Solo. He generally tried to keep some distance from her when she was with the students her age, but they had been forced to find a sort of middle ground, because she hated when he did that. It didn't matter what they thought. She didn't care.

She had friends. Finn, Jannah... Rose. Even Poe was friendly with her. Of course Tai, Hennix and Voe also spent what time they could with her. Although she felt they became friends with her more for Ben's sake.

Once they were far enough down the hall that eavesdroppers couldn't hear he turned abruptly, wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly, spun her in a circle and laughed. He actually laughed.

"Rey..." Once he set her down he was immediately down on a knee to be level with her. "I'm a Jedi. Luke knighted me."

"I-..." Rey was stunned to hear that from him. She grabbed him in a tight hug, arms around his neck in a way that she could hide her face from him. She didn't want him to see her expression, because she knew that she was responsible for Luke's change of heart and Ben did not need to know the details. It would break his heart. "That's so great, Ben."

"I can finally take you away from here."

His words caught her off guard. She didn't understand why he would want take her from the academy. They had everything that they needed here... more than enough. Food. Water. A place to sleep. It was more than she could have ever asked for.

"Leave the academy?" She knew that it was her tone that had him pulling back slowly to look over her face, but she couldn't help being nervous at the idea of leaving this place. She loved the academy. It was home.

"What? You don't want to be my padawan?" 

"You want me to be your padawan?"

"Who else would I want?" He smiled like it was an amusing series of questions. "There's so much more than life inside the Academy. There's a whole galaxy out there and I want you to experience it with me."

Hearing those words from Ben Solo was like a dream. It was just happening so fast that she felt like she needed some time to process it all even if it should be an easy yes.

"I need a little time to process." She took a breath and he sat back a little bit to give her some space. Though she noticed looked a little bit worried.

"You don't have a lot. Master Luke is sending me on a mission to Coruscant." There was just a moment of silence as he glanced down at his hands. "Is there a reason you don't want to?"

"I didn't say I didn't want to, Ben." Rey knew that if she didn't stop him before he started then this was going to become a problem. He was going to obsess over thinking he had done something wrong.

She knew why too. Luke, Lor San Tekka, his parents... even Tai and his friends. They put these expectations on Ben. He really was under a lot of pressure. Sometimes to the breaking point...

"Usually when a girl says she'll think about it that's a nice way of saying no." 

"I'm not saying no, nerf herder." 

That got a smile out of him. He held his arms open, prompting her to roll her eyes and step forward into his hug. As long as it made him feel better. She didn't want him to be upset today of all days. This was his day and despite what everyone else said Ben had worked very hard for it.

Their moment didn't last too long. A slam and running footsteps caught both their attention.

"Rose!" Paige was hurrying after her sister while Rose was clearly distraught over something... oddly so. Rose was one of the toughest girls that she knew. What could have hurt her so badly?

"We'll talk later." Ben was standing and hurrying after them before she could even answer him. Though it wasn't surprising. Rose was Paige's sister after all and he took his concern for her very seriously.

The moment that he disappeared Jannah poked her head out of the classroom. It was clear that everyone had heard the yelling and running. She looked about as confused as Rey felt about the entire situation.

"What happened?"

"Master Skywalker knighted Ben." She answered, watched the way Jannah's eyes widened in shock and behind her Rey could see some students leaning forward in their seats as if to try to double check that they'd heard that right.

It caused Jannah to roll her eyes and stop out of the classroom, closing the door behind her. It was none of their business. 

"But?" Jannah sensed that there was a big 'but' in there somewhere judging by the apprehension in her voice. 

"I think I said the wrong thing to him." Rey sighed softly. "He asked me to be his padawan and I told him I would think about it."

"Why? You two are so close. I thought it would be a no brainer."

"I-..." She hesitated, bit her lip as she thought about the best way to phrase it without sounding weak. Crossing her arms over her chest she tried to continue cautiously. "I know that Ben is different. I know he wouldn't, but the last time that I went on a ship away from home my parents left me on Jakku. I feel... all of those feelings all over."

"Well... Master Skywalker always says that confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi." Jannah offered a gentle smile, placed a hand at her shoulder. "And besides... things are different now. You have all of us."

Those words did bring her some comfort. Jannah was right. It wasn't the same as it was before. Nobody was going to decide that they didn't want her anymore and drop her off like her parents... especially not Ben. 

It didn't make the bad feelings go away, but there was some relief from them. She would just have to power through it as best she could. If she didn't push past the fear she knew that she would remain trapped behind it. That she would lose amazing opportunities.

"Thanks, Jannah." Rey stepped forward to hug her friend, felt her return that hug tightly. 

"That's what friends are for." Jannah reassured her. It left her feeling better knowing she had friends that were going to be supporting her through this transition.

* * *

After class Jannah volunteered to help Rey pack some essentials on the trip. Though it required going to Ben's room as she still had some of her things left there that she was going to need to bring along.

Jannah made jokes the entire time. Doing everything within her power to cheer Rey up and make her feel more at ease.

However when she typed in the code and the door opened up she was surprised to see Ben sitting at the edge of his bed in what appeared to be some very deep, troubling thought.

"Hey, kid." He acknowledged her, but he didn't look up.

"Is it Rose?" Rey suspected that it must be something to do with the Tico sisters. His brief nod confirmed it was. "Is she alright?"

"She will be. She's strong." Ben cleared his throat and straightened up. "I assume you're here because you made your decision."

"It wasn't a decision really. It's just... the Academy is my home. The last time I left my home... my parents left me on Jakku..." She new that she had to tell him the truth otherwise he would always think the problem was him.

"Ah." He nodded in understanding. "But I hope you know that I won't ever leave you. Unless you finally wise up and decide that you can't stand me anymore."

"Shut up." She smacked his shoulder. "That will never happen."

Jannah cleared her throat, bringing her back to the fact that she had been so caught up in Ben that she had completely forgotten that she was there. It made her grimace a little because it was a bit embarrassing. 

"Hi, Ben." Jannah tried to be friendly ad Ben simply nodded in her direction before he started to stand.

"She was going to help me pack." 

"Jannah." Ben attempted to be polite, but Rey knew that things were a little tense between them. He never really forgave her or Finn for taking her outside the Academy grounds and putting their lives in danger. "I need to speak to Luke about a few things. Thank you for helping Rey."

Jannah sort of breathed a sigh of relief after he was gone and Rey wished that things weren't so tense with the two of them. She was well aware that the other students were terrified of Ben Solo's infamous temper even if she thought they were overreacting.

"I think he still hates me." Jannah stated quietly.

"He doesn't hate you." Rey assured her as she opened up the closet to pull a travel bag. There was only one so she knew Ben must have already packed. "I would know."

"Because you spend so much time together or because of that that weird force bond thing you two have?"

"Ben isn't what everyone says he is." 

"People say a lot of things about Ben Solo..." 

"I know." Rey sighed as she folded some clothes and packed them away into the bag securely. It felt strange to be packing up for a second time in such a short time. 

"What's it like? The force bond?" Jannah brought up something that she and many others had always been so curious about as she helped her fold clothes. 

"It's..." And this was something that she had to stop and think about. Sighing she pulled herself up to sit on the desk as she tried to think of the best way to describe it. "It's like... when you've fallen asleep on your arm... you can feel it, but... you also can't? Numb, but warm and always there."

"When did it develop?" 

"I... don't know..." It felt like it was too personal for her to tell Jannah the full extent of their bond or the fact that their souls were weaved together.

"That bond must really be something." Jannah mused. "Solo is so different with you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he's soft with you. With everyone else he's just... cold. Like he's not really there in the moment." 

"He's not cold with Paige." Rey felt that it wasn't really true that Ben was only soft when it came to her.

"Maybe not, but it's still not how he is with you. There's something different still." Jannah paused then and tilted her head. "How does that work for you two? I mean... if he likes Paige then do you have to put up with it?"

"Not really. Sometimes thoughts drift... I know he's thought about kissing her before, but... it's not as bad as it was before we managed to figure out ways to keep our boundaries." The thoughts that drifted weren't really bad or much, but she wished she didn't have to know how he felt about Paige. 

"I hope nothing else."

"No. Thank the Force." At least that was something she could be grateful for. It was something that she thought might push them to a breaking point. Being around him would be impossible if she had to deal with that.

The break was short lived. They picked up where they left off. Packing her clothes and her art supplies. Something that she and Ben had in common. Though she sketched and he preferred to work with dark inks.

Though as she placed a bag on the desk she mistakenly knocked a cup of pencils over, falling down the back and down the side. It made Rey sigh, but she was just glad they weren't Ben's getting knocked over. His were much nicer and a gift from his mother.

"I've got it." Jannah moved to help her, carefully pushed the desk back from the wall to be able to get to those that had fallen. "Looks like these aren't the only things that fell-oh... Rey... is... does Ben seem... normal? I mean... is everything alright with him?"

"Why...?" Instead of answering her question Jannah looked away and held out the piece of paper that she had found. Rey smoothed it out with her thumb, noting that it had been crumpled into a ball and intended for the garbage, but somehow ended up behind the desk.

She was well aware that Ben liked to record Jedi insights onto parchment so that he could keep a written record... and she was expecting it to be something like that, but with each line she read she felt her stomach sink.

"Are you going to tell Master Luke?" Jannah straightened up, unsure of how to handle a situation like this... though trying her hardest to be understanding.

"I... no... I don't think that I need to do that. This is... I mean... this paper is old. It... must have been from before..." She had to stop and take a breath, because this was the last thing she expected to find.

"Poor Ben..." Jannah wrapped her arms around herself. "I knew he could get really sad sometimes, but I never thought that he would want to..."

"He doesn't. Not anymore at least." Rey was sure that she would know if it was to this extent... and there was no way he would just... do that and leave her all alone. 

"I'm really glad you found each other. You saved him too." Jannah meant it as a compliment, but Rey only felt her stomach churn even more.

What they had was more than a force bond like Luke and Tekka had initially thought... they shared a soul... and that meant that Ben had to suffer ten years without half of his. She wondered if the way that he had felt was partly her fault.

Folding the note Rey placed it into her bag, but she also noticed the way Jannah raised a brow at her actions.

"It's not for Luke. I just want to ask him about it without him pretending he doesn't know what I'm talking about." She explained quietly. Taking a deep breath she closed her bag and then took a look around the mostly empty room. "I guess that's it."

Taking a deep breath she grabbed her bag to lift over her shoulder and then turned towards the door to begin to head over to the hanger with Jannah... but on the way there they spotted Finn. He was pacing anxiously there in the hallway.

"Hey." Jannah greeted. "You look nervous. Did something happen?"

"Are you seriously going with him?" Finn moved past that question the moment he spotted that Rey had a packed bag with her on the way to the hanger. "I don't care what your relationship is with that Vader-esque psychopath... you shouldn't go with him."

Before she even had the chance to responded Finn turned and stormed off, prompting Jannah to reflect an equally confused look. 

"I've got this. You have a flight to catch." Jannah rushed off after Finn.

Sighing Rey rolled her head back. "Ben... what did you do?" 

Taking in another breath she continued to the hanger. There were some students there to see if it was true that Ben Solo had really finally managed to land himself a promotion to Jedi. Luke and Tekka were there speaking with him, but what surprised her the most was to see the Falcon landed there in the hanger.

There next to the massive, fluffy wookie that was currently crushing Ben in a hug was a man that must be Han Solo with his face hidden behind a beard just as scruffy as Luke's. It surprised her because this would be the first time his father had come here to see him.

"This the girl I've heard so much about?" Han's voice sounded just as rough as the man looked.

"This is Rey." Luke nodded, stroked his beard slowly. "I just don't know where that boy has gone... I'm worried."

"Maybe a Boar-wolf ate him." Ben huffed out, arms crossed over his chest.

"Ben!" Luke scolded him immediately. "I know you and Brendol Sindian don't get along, but he's missing. This is serious."

Sindian was missing? She wondered if it had anything to do with him sneaking out that night... perhaps a Boar-wolf had gotten to him. 

"I was joking Master." There was a pause. "Do you want us to look for him?"

"No." Luke waved it off. "I'll look. You have a very important mission. I'm entrusting the survival of the Jedi Order to you."

That shocked Rey. She hadn't expected Luke to have ever said something like that to Ben, but perhaps his eyes had finally been opened to whatever had been there in the room with them that night. Manipulating. 

"I won't let you down. I promise." 

"Master Luke..." Rey felt that since Luke already knew she snuck into Ben's room there was no reason to keep the secrete. "I saw Sindian that night... he was sneaking out into the jungle."

"What?! Why didn't you tell me right away?"

"He was going to tell I snuck into Ben's room, but you already know that now... so..." Rey trailed off and Luke huffed in frustration.

"Alright. Tai, Hennix, Voe... prepare yourselves to find our missing student." Luke still shook his head in disbelief that his students were causing so much trouble. "Ben, Rey... good luck on your mission."

The group headed to another ship, with Tai offering up one last goofy smile and waving goodbye to them. The other students remained. Spoke quietly among themselves as if this was quite the spectacle to them.

"Ready to go, kid?" Ben finally addressed her and she nodded.

"Ready."

A couple of girls laughed, loud enough that she glanced back and knew exactly who they were... the trouble making cousin duo.

"Bye, Rey. Good luck getting any mouth action being Solo's Padawan." They must have thought they were pretty funny, because they laughed the entire walk back into the academy.

"What was that?" Ben's voice caught her attention and Rey cringed, immediately tried to hurry up the ramp onto the Falcon and avoid his questioning, but he caught her elbow before she made it all the way. "Rey..."

"Nothing. Stupid girl stuff." She quickly shrugged his hand off and wondered how this day could possibly throw any more at her.

"It doesn't sound that way." He slowly followed her up the ramp, lingering behind her.

"What? The boys don't talk about that stuff?" It came off extremely defensive and she knew it, but she wanted him to back off on this particular subject.

"What stuff?" His voice lowered considerably and she wondered if she should have said nothing at all. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea... it sounded like he might have.

"You know... kissing stuff." She cringed again at how stupid it sounded.

"Jedi shouldn't be thinking about those things." 

"Are you saying you don't?" Rey finally turned to face him, because she knew for a fact her did, but he didn't answer at that point... just tilted his head to the side slightly and watched her... and damn him if he didn't know how to get out of a conversation he didn't want to have.

"Do you want to be kissing boys?" Ben slowly leaned against the Dejarik table, crossed his arms over his chest and looked impassive.

"Nerf herder." She shot back, but she noticed the way the corner of his mouth quirked up slightly in response... of course he knew exactly how irritating he was being and had the nerve to think it was funny. 

It apparently wasn't funny for very long though and Ben seemed to realize something because that humorous smile faded and his gaze drifted off to the ground somewhere far behind her.

"Rey... I need you to promise me you'll be careful with kissing."

"Why?" That had thrown her off. What did it matter to him?

"Because... sometimes it can lead to other things." He sighed heavily and shifted his weight to push up from the Dejarik table. "I didn't think that I would need to have this conversation with you, yet. I guess you really are growing up."

"You're just now noticing?" Rey felt some frustration that Ben would never stop seeing her as the little sister that he needed to protect... and she would never stop wishing that he didn't.

"I think it's time we had that talk. Let me just check in with Han first." He started towards the cockpit and she noted that he didn't call him 'father' or 'dad' like she expected that he might... odd. Though maybe not so surprising given the strain on their relationship.

"Relax, sweetheart everything is fine. We're plotting the quickest course now." Han's voice emanated from the cockpit as he spoke over comms to someone and once he noticed Ben he glanced back at him. "Ready to go, kid?"

_Sweetheart. Kid._ So that was where Ben got it from.

"We're ready." Ben answered quietly. "Just hoping for an ETA."

"Two days. Give or take a few hours." Han informed. "Provided we don't have any complications with galactic rotation or hyperspace lane changes."

"Alright." It seemed to be all that he was interested because he gestured for her to follow him to the back, apparently concluding the conversation.

She followed him back with her arms wrapped securely around herself. Space was cold. She was used to the warmer weather of Jakku and Yavin. It felt so strange to be here, but... she as also on the most famous ship in the galaxy and that was kind of exciting.

"Have you ever flown it before?" She was curious if Ben had ever had that chance.

"Almost, but my mother thought it was too dangerous." He moved over to the conservator in the galley. "Do you want something to drink?"

"I'm fine." She sat down in one of the bunks and took a look around. It was... kind of a piece of junk. Of course she wouldn't say that to Ben about his father's ship. She tried for something else. "It's cozy."

"Han built a galley in the Falcon as a wedding gift for my mother. He's always on the move... so I guess he wanted to make it more homey for her."

"She's not here now though?"

"No. They have very different lives." He finally approached her to drop onto the bunk right next to her and she grimaced as she listened to it groan under his weight. She silently waited for it to break under them and drop them into space or something along those lines. "We still need to have that talk."

"I already know where everything goes and where babies come from." 

"Not... that one." He curled one leg up onto the bed so that he could turn to face her. "It has to do with what those girls were talking about."

"We don't need to talk about that." Rey quickly tried to dismiss it, because this conversation with him was the last one that she ever wanted to have.

"Yes. We do." Ben sighed after as he searched for the right words. "I know that I'm not one of the girls and maybe it's not as comfortable talking to me-"

"I don't like talking to the girls. Trust me." She felt the need to correct that as quickly as she could so that he didn't for some reason think that she actually associated with those two.

"Okay... well..." He cleared his throat. "You said the girls talk. Some of the guys did. Even if everyone was in Jedi training and that should be the last thing they were focusing on..."

It was impossible not to smile at his little addition to that initial comment. Of course there was by-the-book Ben Solo once more.

"Which boys?"

"Sindian and his gang... who else?" 

"And you?" 

"Me?" He feigned ignorance, but Rey met his gaze and didn't back down.

"You." She watched him sigh, place his elbow onto his knee and lean his face into that hand... he looked more amused with her than anything else though. For her next question she looked down, picked nervously at some puffy little lint balls on the old wool blanket. She couldn't look at his face when she asked it. "So have you ever kissed Paige?"

"Mmm..." He made a sound, was silent for a moment that made her fear that his answer would be yes and more. "No, Rey. I've been trying very hard to be a good Jedi."

"But you wonder what it's like to kiss her."

"Yes."

"That was honest." She mused quietly, but his hand reached out and he placed it over hers to stop her nervous picking of the blankets.

"Sweetheart, I'm always honest with you." Ben's tone came across so gentle that it really did help her relax. He held her hand in his and she mused that been had the biggest paws she'd ever seen on anyone. How did he managed to be so big and so gentle at the same time? "It's alright to be curious about it. There's nothing wrong with that. I know the Jedi teachings tell you the opposite, but... it's okay. Don't let the code make you feel bad."

"No. It's not that. I don't feel bad for thinking about it." What he had said though, that caught her attention. Did Ben feel guilty about wanting to kiss Paige?

"Do you have someone in mind?" As he asked if she had someone in mind she very cautiously met his gaze. Did he know? Sometimes he would do or say things that made her wonder, but... then he'd go and say something stupid again that would make her sure that he didn't.

"Maybe."

"Is he someone that I need to beat up?" Ben leaned in closer as he said it. "I don't normally make rules for you, Rey, but before you go around kissing anyone... you bring them to me. I meet them first."

Nope. Ben had no idea. Big surprise there. A little tiny part of her wanted to ask him if he was going to manage to beat himself up, but to say that would to be to open a can of space worms and it wasn't worth it.

"There's nobody for you to beat up." It was so difficult for her to know what to do right now... she so badly wanted to ask him if he would kiss her and at the same time she was absolutely terrified to ask it.

"Well... I think we've gotten a little off track." He decided to move the conversation along. "What I was trying to get at before is... it's fine that you're curious, but I don't want you to feel pressured because of what everyone else is doing. Some girls like that wild life style and maybe that's okay for them, but if you don't feel comfortable? Then you don't need to do what they're doing. You only need to do what you feel okay with."

"I don't feel pressured, Ben." She only wanted to be kissing one boy and that happened to be him. 

"Okay. Good. That's good." He draped one arm over his leg, reached up with his other hand to run a hair back through his hair nervously and Rey wondered why it was that everything Ben Solo did had to look so good? "I just didn't want you to feel like you need to do things with boys just because other girls are."

"I think... I want to know what it feels like to kiss someone, but... I don't know about other things." She hesitated then, felt her heart pounding as she worked up the courage. "Maybe you could...?"

"I could what?" 

There was a very long silence that stretched on between them as she tried as hard as she could to actually get the words out that she wanted to.

"Kiss me...?" The words came out so meekly, but the change of energy in the air between them was almost instant and she knew that she had made the biggest mistake of her life by putting it into words. "Just to know what it's like."

"Uhm..." Ben looked down as he reached a hand up to rub along the back of his neck nervously. "I don't think that's a good idea."

If she had thought the silence was bad before it was nothing compared to now. Even worse when Ben made it clear that the conversation was over by grabbing out a datapad and his notebook to begin writing down some data he deemed worthy.

That was it. No other words. Just him working.

It was stupid to ask. It had been such a mistake... she had known that he was most likely going to tell her no so why did she still feel like she wanted to cry? She bit her lip to try to prevent herself from doing so... and at the same time there was the anger. She let that anger bubble up to the surface instead of feeling the hurt. That was so much easier for her to feel than heartbreak.

"I guess I could always ask Finn." It was meant to piss Ben off and it worked. There was a flash in his eyes that made her uneasy as he gave her perhaps one of the coldest glares she'd ever seen.

"Don't you even think about asking him something like that. The only thing some boys care about is laying the pipe and that's it, Rey. They're done with you once they've taken what they want and I don't want to see you get hurt like that!" Ben yelled at her. Actually yelled. It wasn't something that he ever really did... the only exception was when she was younger and doing something extremely dangerous and he was afraid for her.

That meant that Ben must be really serious about this. She didn't know what to think and she had no idea why he was so angry with Finn. Did it have to do with why Rose was crying? The two must have had a pretty bad fight... for Ben to get involved.

"I get it, okay?" 

"Look, Rey... I know I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, but you have to understand that I don't want a boy to hurt you like that. It's my job to protect you and keep you safe. I wouldn't be doing my job if I let you do something that I knew would only hurt you in the end." He folded his hands in his lap with a little sigh. "Alright. You know what? Fine. If it keeps you from doing something stupid."

"What?" She looked up a bit startled, but he had already leaned forward and she felt like her heart was about to break out of her ribcage it was beating so hard. He had to be messing with her. This was revenge for deliberately prodding at him about Finn.

Except it wasn't. She felt his warm breath fanning out along her face slow and steady as he moved closer, felt the graze of his mouth against the corner of hers... though... a lot more her cheek than her mouth. A placating kiss. Half a kiss and yet... it still sent a shock wave through her nerves. 

She wasn't sure if it lasted a long time or if it lasted only a moment. Time seemed a little strange in that moment. There with her heart beating so fast in hear ears that it almost drowned out the low hum of the engines. Where as he lingered she was sure she could taste the faintest hints of the coffee he liked to drink so much of, but also noticed how soft his mouth really was... just as kissable as she always thought it looked.

Finally he drew back from her and the first thing that she noticed was that he didn't seem affected at all. He wasn't nearly breathless like he had left her, but rather casually leaning back against the wall as he reached for his book to flip it open again and to continue where he left off.

"Okay?" He asked, flipping pages without looking directly at her.

"That was only half a kiss." Rey only spoke when she felt like she could say the words without giving away the fact that he'd stolen her breath away. With only half a kiss.

"Half a kiss for half an adult." 

She only nodded, because she couldn't even argue with him after that. Sure she knew that he was only doing it to placate her. Regardless it still certainly had the affect that he had wanted. She couldn't be upset with him after that.

Exhaling slowly she moved off the bed to grab her bag and place it into storage before crawling into her own bunk. She laid there for a moment, pressed her face into her pillow to hide the smile on her face. It wasn't quite the kiss that she wanted, but Ben had still kissed her and it was perhaps the single most amazing moment in her entire life. 

It wasn't until sometime late into the night that the light finally went out once Ben had finished whatever it was that he was working on over there. She heard the poor old springs creaking in his mattress as he settled down to sleep.

The hum of the engine was actually somewhat of a soothing white noise. Despite this old ship seeming to be a piece of junk that could fall apart at any moment... it seemed that it was a peaceful and cozy place to sleep.

At least until she heard Ben's heavy sigh and had to smile to herself, because she already knew what was coming. She felt the mattress dip under his weight as he laid down behind her and draped an arm over her. Then and only then did he finally sigh contently.

She had to give him points for at least trying to stay in his own bunk she supposed. She understood though how hard it was to sleep without her because she found it impossible to sleep without him. It had become a habit that was impossible to break.

It seemed fairly easy for him to fall asleep. Less so for her because she had so much on her mind. She still didn't have most of the answers that she had wanted to get... and one in particular that she hadn't gotten the chance to even ask.

Turning over very slowly she looked over his face in the darkness. He was definitely asleep. It was the only time he ever looked that peaceful, but at least he had seemed happy. Maybe happier than she had ever seen him.

Though she let her gaze travel down to his arm that had settled between them. Reaching out slowly she slid her fingers up under his sleeve and brushed it back enough to take a long look at the scars there. She noticed them once a long time ago. She hadn't understood them then... she did now.

She knew that Ben could get sad, but the idea of him being this sad without his family ever noticing didn't make sense to her. They were the greatest heroes in the galaxy so how could they not notice that someone needed them? Especially someone so close to them.

The touch must have woken him, because he was watching her from the darkness. She waited for him to say something. He never did... and she had no idea what to ask or how to address it. It was something that was in the past. Did she even have to right to dredge it all up and as him about it now?

Rey decided that she didn't need to do that. Instead she moved closer to him and buried her face in his chest... just hugged him close. Letting him know that she was there for him was perhaps better than anything else that she could do for him.

"I'm fine now that you're here. I promise." He finally spoke into the darkness.

"Was it because I wasn't there?" Her question made him sigh.

"It had nothing to do with you." A pause. "Try to get some sleep. I have a lot planned for us when we arrive."

"I'll try." She shifted just a little closer to him and did her best to fall asleep... she had a feeling it was going to be a long trip.

* * *

"Let's stop somewhere nice for lunch." Ben suggested as he leaned back in his seat next to Han, prompting his father to raise a brow at him.

"You don't normally ask to stop for food." Han shot a knowing look back at Rey. "Yeah. Sure thing, kid. But you're helping me land."

They finally broke through the atmosphere to arrive on the planet of Coruscant at last... and it was unlike anything that Rey had ever seen before. A massive city that went on as far as the eye could see with just as many speeders.

Everything looked so crowded that she wasn't too sure how they were ever going to manage to land in all of this. The spaceport had to be so full.

"Coruscant tower this is the The Millennium Falcon YT 492727ZED inbound requesting landing permissions." Han spoke up over the coms, leaving Ben to handle Chewie's usual job on the other side.

"Millennium Falcon ZED, Tower. Fly left base hanger 13. Altimeter 29.92. Wind 265 at 3."

"Fly left base hanger 13." Han repeated back, confirming what he had heard.

"Millennium Falcon ZED, cleared to land hanger 13. Wind 265 at 3."

"Cleared to land hanger 13, Millennium Falcon ZED."

"You can't just land?" Rey asked quietly so not as to interrupt and watched Ben shake his head slowly.

"Not in the big city." He answered as he and Han followed the instructions to a letter... going around at an angle to get the right direction on the landing that the tower had requested. It was odd... back on Yavin and Jakku these rules had never existed. Anyone could land anywhere they wanted.

But then... there wasn't nearly this much traffic there. Han and Ben however were expert pilots and had no problem with their landing whereas she felt like she would struggle. She knew she could land on Yavin, but this place? No way.

"Millennium Falcon ZED, contact ground on 120.125."

"Going to 120.125, Millennium Falcon ZED." Han switched the frequency. "Ground this is Millennium Falcon ZED."

"Millennium Falcon ZED, what's your business here?"

"We're meeting with Senator Organa."

"A meeting with Senator Organa." A pause. "Alright. You're logged. Have a nice day, Millennium Falcon." 

"You too." Han finally flipped all the switches to shut down the engines and pushed himself up from his seat, stretching as he did so before heading out of the cockpit and approaching his big furry friend. "Coming, Chewie?"

Chewie let out a series of growls and Han sighed, rubbed a hand along the back of his neck and nodded.

"Yeah... you're right. Forgot about Ducain. It's a good idea you stay with the Falcon. I'll bring you back some of that Fried Endorian chicken you like so much." He patted Chewie's arm in passing and they were off.

It was a bit of a shock stepping off the Falcon and into a crowded spaceport. When she first arrived at the academy, Rey had thought about how loud it was there, but that was nothing compared to this buzzing metropolis.

Thankfully there was a air taxi waiting there for them and they wouldn't have to stay in this loud place for too long. 

She made to step onto the taxi... at least until she looked down and saw how far it went and her mind was sent back to that poor scavenger she watched fall to his death. She couldn't even see the ground it was so high up... nothing below, but a city smog. She quickly started to back up, but didn't get too far with Ben's hand in the way.

A silent reminder that Ben would never put her in a dangerous situation. She trusted him that she took that step over the edge onto the taxi. When Ben followed behind her and dropped into his seat he draped his arm over the back of the seat and let her lean into his side.

"Why did the Republic return here? I thought that the place where the Empire was born would make people think twice." She looked around at all the tall buildings... the traffic... sights and sounds... she had never seen anything like the city before. 

"Ah... well the Republic is on a planetary rotation to promote inclusivity for the systems within the New Republic." He explained. "And the Centrists have the majority so they control the senate... they were able to out vote the Populists for Coruscant being next. Knowing them... this is part of their plot to push their imperial agenda. Not that it matters. They won't get anything done... the two parties will just spend all their time arguing over who's right."

"You're right... politics are stupid." Rey mused.

"You got that right, kid." Han quipped from the front, sounding exceptionally amused at the conversation. "Get a good ship like the Falcon and you don't need any of them. Just you and the stars."

As Han spoke she felt a tension from Ben and glanced down to see the way his hand tightened around his knee so hard that his knuckles were slowly turning white. His jaw clenched like a sprung loth-bear trap.

It was obvious to her why the comment had affected him. Han not so much. He was completely oblivious up there in the front seat. Taking a deep breath she reached out and placed a hand over Ben's, felt his grip ease and then noted that when he looked at her the tension in his jaw slowly eased.

He turned his palm up so that he could take her hand with a gentle curl of his fingers along the back of hers. The massive expanse of his paw taking up all of hers... and yet as awkward as it might seem it never failed to make her feel safe. Like he was big enough to protect her from the entire galaxy.

The driver finally pulled them around to what appeared to be an actual street. The big billboard above the little diner they parked next insisted that they had _"The best food this side of the Senate District"_

Ben hopped off the side and held a hand out to help her down. It was a relief to be on solid ground finally. Not at the top of some groaning skyscraper that she didn't trust not to fall and take her with it.

The moment that they stepped into the little diner the woman behind the counter looked up at them, smiled and waved in their direction.

"Han Solo."

"Hey, Hermione. Long time no see." Han gestured for them to sit while he made his way over to talk with the woman. 

Rey followed Ben over to a booth, noticing the holophoto of an old Besalisk on the wall. The little plaque under it spelling out in basic 'in honor of Dexter Jettster'. She assumed based on the name of this place that the Besalisk must have been the owner once upon a time.

"Have you been here before?" She wondered if Ben knew this place as well as his father seemed to.

"Mm. My father would bring me here as a boy from time to time though not for my sake." He answered. "This place is a smuggler's den. They do business here."

Something told her not to ask too much about it. She didn't think Ben would appreciate being questions about his past or especially about his father. Which was made all the more apparent when he reached over for holoprojector so that he could scan through the menu.

Still...

"Your father brought you to a place where criminals meet up?"

"Well... that's nothing compared to the time he bet me in a game of Sabacc to win back the Falcon." He mentioned offhandedly, an irritation in his tone that he tried to keep in check.

"Hey, I wasn't going to lose." Han interrupted, returning to them and taking his place in the seat across from them.

"I don't know why you think the fact that you cheated makes it better." His temper was slowly rising ad it was clear to see, but after a moment he paused, took a deep breath and then calmed himself. "Rey... did you decide what you want?"

It was a fast change. Like he knew that he had to conduct himself differently now that he had been promoted to the rank of Jedi Knight... and he did... he couldn't just lose his temper anymore. She decided she should probably help him in changing the subject. 

"I... honestly don't know... I've haven't even heard of most of these." She stated quietly as she came to the realization that there were so many foods that she didn't even know existed.

"You're kidding..." Han looked astonished. "You know what she ought to try? Cheese and bacon Nerfburger. Everyone loves a good nerfburger."

The Academy feed them well, but half the things on this menu she had never see before let alone heard of... so she decided to take Han's advice as Han waved over a droid to put the order in for them. From there it was just a matter of a nice, relaxed lunch. 

They ate in relative silence. The food was good and the atmosphere comfortable. All in all it was a very pleasant meal, but the time came to move on. There was work to be done. Han paid, said his farewells and they were off to their next destination.

The building was massive. It clearly stood out amongst the city. She recognized it from classes about the history of the Jedi Order. This was the old temple. The one that the Emperor had transformed into his palace. His final victory against the Jedi.

As they drew closer she realized there were groups of people outside. It appeared to be fairly crowded as the air taxi pulled up to the entrance of the massive palace. This only served to remind her that she really didn't know what they were doing here.

Ben was the first one off, turning with his hand out to aid her in stepping down onto solid stone, before his hand came around to her back so that he could led her forward and up the steps.

"Ben!" A woman's voice caught her attention. This woman she recognized as Senator Leia Organa. Princess of Alderaan... and Ben's mother. 

Leia Organa was just as stunning in person as she appeared on the holonet. If not even more impressive. Although it was humorous to watch her reach for Ben and for him to bend nearly in half just to hug her... yet it left a strange ache in Rey's chest and reminded her how much she wished she knew what a mother's touch felt like.

Maybe there were faint feelings or memories, but... nothing solid.

As for how they treated one another... there was a stark contrast to the way that Ben behaved with his mother. It was clear there was a much more sentimental affection for her than he had for his father even if there were hints of sadness there as well.

After a moment or so Leia finally drew back and turned her attention towards her. Something that made her a little nervous. Back on Jakku someone as rich and famous as Leia Organa would never have even thought of looking her way.

"You must be the girl I've heard so much about." Leia's tone seemed kind. It was still a little scary though to be in front of someone so important to the galaxy regardless. "I must admit I was hopeful when he started talking about a girl that it might be a girlfriend not a padawan, but... I think that raising a padawan has done a lot of good for him."

"Mom..." Ben's voice was almost a childish whine. She wanted to laugh, but he might not take that so well.

"Oh." Leia waved a hand to hush him. Whatever she'd been about to say next was interrupted by another senator... the same one that spoke out against Leia. They were friends again after that? It surprised Rey. "Ransolm, you're just in time to meet my son and his padawan."

"Good to make your acquaintance." Ransolm spoke, though turned to Leia promptly. "I'm afraid time is running short. We should start the ceremony."

"Of course. You're right." Leia sighed. "Well... let's begin then shall we?"

It was all so confusing to her. She had never seen so many people in one place... not even at the academy. The city was really something wild and untamed despite being called civilization.

Leia gestured for them to follow her up to a big red ribbon that ran the length of the entrance to the temple and got everyone's attention. Having all those eyes on them made Rey a little nervous and she inched closer into Ben's side, which he very casually accepted.

"I am so pleased that everyone could make it to the grand reopening of the Jedi Temple. I was thrilled when Jedi Master Skywalker came to me with this Jedi Knight Solo's proposition to reopen the temple." Leia began... and Rey quickly glanced up at Ben. She'd had no idea that this had been his idea. "With more Jedi Temples in the galaxy and the Jedi spread out rather than gathered in a single place... we can prevent another Coruscant massacre... we can better serve and protect the galaxy. So with thanks to those that donated to make this a reality... we drive the final nail in the coffin of the Emperor and his Empire here on this day."

At this Leia cut the ribbon. A round of applauds went up. There was a lot of cheering. Confetti falling all around... light shows. It was a celebration unlike anything that she had ever seen before.

And then Ben's hand was at her back again as he urged her inside. It was clear to her that none of this phased him at all. Of course he must be used to this kind of life... even if his planet was dead he was still a Prince of Alderaan. His mother was still Princess and Senator. They would have attended these things often. 

The inside of the temple surprised her... it was very extravagant. This party or celebration... whatever one might call it was clearly very high class. Fancy dressed waiters with drinks and snacks... a full band playing and waiting for those that wanted to dance.

There up on the wall a group of men on ladders cut down an imperial flag and raised one with the Jedi insignia, leaving the room cheering once more in celebration. They were quick to gather the imperial flag, rip it apart and set it ablaze.

Was this what the rest of the galaxy outside of Jakku was really like?

"Is everything alright?" Ben's question came softly when he turned to her from speaking with his mother and Ransolm.

"I was just thinking..." She mused as she watched some dancers take up the floor. "That everyone here has all of this just for fun... and people are starving in rags on Jakku."

"I know. I'm sorry. Just please bare with it for a little while." His tone sounded sincerely apologetic. He understood how much this bothered her. "I'm afraid that... as Jedi we'll have to put up with these things."

"Those men carrying the drinks in the suits... are they slaves?" 

"No. They're paid to do that. It's their choice." He quickly added. "The Republic outlawed slavery. There are just a few planets like Jakku that are out of the Republic's jurisdiction."

Rey exhaled slowly. She knew she couldn't take it personally, but it was frustrating to see so many rich people just enjoying their lives... more money than they knew what to do with while other people suffered.

She just had to remind herself that Ben was one of those people. That Leia was and she knew that they did their best to help people with their funds instead of wasting it... people had donated to this temple... not all of them could be the same.

Suddenly the air around them changed and she noticed a woman approaching them, heard Ben inhale sharply and straighten up.

The first thing the woman did was slap Ben hard across the face. Rey stepped forward, was about to defend him, but Ben held a hand out low to keep her from interfering... and she was torn. As much as she wanted to help Ben she knew that they were in public and he was his padawan.

He had already been humiliated by this woman so Rey couldn't humiliate him further by making it seem that he had no control over his student.

"Where is he? Where is my son?" The woman demanded.

"Lady Sindian... I'm afraid I don't know." Ben answered and Rey's eyes widened when she realized that this was Sindian's mother. She seemed just as much trouble as her son was... she could see where that boy got it from.

"How could my son possibly know where your boy ran off to?" Leia seemed calm. She had dealt with this woman before.

"Carise, please." Ransolm quickly stepped in, but it was too late. Everyone was already looking and so Ransolm started to pull her away with another man. To get her away and calm her down.

"No! I know he knows... I know you know, Vader spawn!" The woman shouted as she was pulled away. Her final words a sharp sting. 

There was a long silence and once they were gone Leia and Ben shared a look.

"What was that about?" Rey questioned, noticing the look and wondering what it was that was going on.

"That was all political theatrics..." Ben answered as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I have a hard time believing he just ran off without telling her anything."

"You know him better than I do. Do you think they've planned this together to get at us?" Leia questioned. 

"Mmm... that or the jungle ate him." He gave a little bit of a one sided shrug.

"They would do all that for politics?" Rey asked.

"You would be surprised the dirty things people do for politics. Lady Carise Sindian especially has it out for us." Leia answered with a solemn nod, recalling the recent event in which they publicly let out that she was the daughter of Darth Vader to keep her from winning the seat of First Senator.

"It was a selfish thing to do... you're perhaps the only senator in the galaxy that actually cares about the people... and yet they spread lies about you and slander your name." Ben bristled a little at just the thought of what had been done to his mother.

"Not all. Ransolm cares about the people. He just believes in a different way of going about it."

"Why are you friends with him still? After everything?"

"He's making up for it." Leia answered.

"If you say so." Ben sounded skeptical, but turned his attention towards Rey, noticed her attention was on the dance floor. "Did you want to dance, Rey?"

"I don't know how." She was admiring the dancing, she had to admit, but she had no idea how it was done. It looked so complicated.

"I can teach you."

"You can dance?" Rey asked in surprised and then second thought it. Had to remind herself that he was a Prince. His mother was a Princes... "of course you can."

Ben offered his hand and for just a moment she hesitated... but she took it and he led her out. It made her nervous to think that she would dance with him of all people... especially when he placed a hand at her hip. There seemed to be a certain romance to this dancing... even if she knew he didn't see it that way. Not with her.

"It's very easy... you only need to follow my lead." He began very slowly, taking it a step at a time and letting her learn from him. 

"Are Jedi allowed to dance?" It felt strange to be the only two out here in these robes.

"I won't tell if you won't." He continued to walk her through it quite literally. Step by step until she began to get the hang of it.

All in all dancing was actually quite fun. A strange thrill. Something they would never be seen doing at the academy, but they could here, because in this place Ben Solo wasn't just some poor Jedi Knight... he was a prince... and tonight as they danced the night away it certainly felt like he was.

* * *

For the night Rey had been able to pretend that her life was different. Like something from a fairytale that she'd heard on Jakku... stolen away from a life in the barren desert by a Prince on a fiery steed... to a new and far away land where things would finally take a turn for the better and it would all be easier.

As the night ended and they returned with Leia to her high-rise apartment Rey realized that it was in true in some regards. Ben Solo was a Prince that had take her from Jakku... the academy had been like a palace to her... and life had been so much easier.

But there was no promise of marriage or any romantic inclinations. She had turned out to be the sister of the Prince instead. She supposed that there had to be a drawback. Maybe that was a strange sort of balance to the incredible luck she had.

"Your father wanted to turn it into his office, but I haven't changed a thing. It's exactly the way you left it." Leia's voiced pulled her from her thoughts and she watched as Ben opened up a door and step inside. "Rey, I've had the guest room prepared especially for you. Sleep well you two."

Despite the mention of the guest room she caught Ben out of the corner of her eye giving a brief gesture for her to come inside as he placed his bag down on the dresser. 

This was his childhood room and there was something odd about being inside of it. It was such a personal place. Like her AT-AT. These were places that they had grown up and they were sacred in some strange way.

Little things here and there that were a part of them or perhaps even made them who they were today.

Slowly making her way along the wall to inspect this room carefully she reached out and traced her fingertips along the mattress... caught the glimpse of a young boy crying as terrors reached out from the darkness.

She glanced up at Ben and noticed that he had paused in folding clothes into the dresser to look back at her. He must have felt it too, but he didn't say anything... instead he went right back to folding clothes into the dresser.

"It's late... it was a really long night... so if you don't mind... can I go to bed early?" Rey asked, keeping her tone cautious.

"No. Go ahead." He was more focused on organizing his things and she had other worries.

"Are you going to be okay in here by yourself?" That vision or whatever it was... it left her uncertain about leaving him in here alone... and at the same time she couldn't be rude and refuse the room Leia had prepared for her as if she were too good for it.

"That was a long time ago. I'll be fine." He assured her.

"Okay... goodnight, Ben."

"Goodnight, Rey."

* * *

It had been a long time since Leia Organa had seen her son in person. So she had every right to take time off and that was what she did. She had big plans for them tonight. Something that she hoped all of them could enjoy.

There was an amusing exchange as Ben had finished showering and Rey waited at the door for her turn. Leia did notice the amusing, stuttering exchange Rey had with him as the two had passed in the hallway as the girl made her way past him and into the bathroom in a hurry before he managed his way into the kitchen.

Breakfast was just finished too. Perfect timing. Leia was proud to place the big plate in front of Ben as he sat down and watch the hints of a smile on his face. There was nothing better than providing a nice warm meal for someone you loved.

As she poured a cup of coffee for him and sat across from him and gave him a look. The sort that had him raising a brow as if to ask 'what' in that same manner as his father. Much as he might like to think he was nothing like Han he had a lot of his mannerisms.

"That girl has a crush on you." Leia informed, a hint of an amused smile upon her face.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" He asked quietly, giving a brief glance behind him down the hall.

"Well probably because it's true." She answered with a laugh, but Ben seemed to take this a bit more seriously, glanced down at his mug and slowly turned it in his hands.

"I know..." It was said with a heavy weight. "I just hate having to be the one to break her heart."

"That's why they call it a crush, Ben." Leia reached out and placed her hands gently over his on his cup to try to sooth him a little.

"I was hoping that she was going to grow out of it, but... she hasn't. Not yet." His face twisted up on one side. "I want to give her everything. I've always wanted that. To provide her with a good life... and to know that I have to be the one that will... have been this... this pain."

"Has your crush left that big of a mark?" She was a bit surprised by how hard he was taking this.

"No, but... we have this... this bond. This... split of soul... whatever you want to call it... and I'm afraid that because of that... it will make this hurt her all the more." He tried his best to explain it in a way that it made sense.

"Your uncle mentioned." Leia took a moment to think. "I think, Ben... that you just need to have faith in the Force. Trust that it has a plan for you and for her and that everything is going to work out."

"Do you believe that?"

"I do. The Force works in mysterious was. I've trusted it and everything has always turned out just fine for our family." She answered firmly and watched him finally relax a little bit. "And who knows... maybe when she's older things will have changed for the both of you."

"I suppose it's true. I always wanted a sibling. I sort of have one now I guess? I just hope this thing with her is a phase she grows out of." Ben exhaled slowly and took a drink from his mug.

A door opened somewhere and Han finally showed up. He looked a little worse for the wear leaving Leia to sigh, stand up, approach him and brush some soot from his face while she shook her head.

"You had better clean up for tonight. I'm taking Ben and Rey for dinner... and..." Leia turned to Ben. "The Mon Calamari dancers are performing Squid Lake at The Galaxies Opera House. I want you both dressed to impress."

Both Solo men groaned upon hearing their fate for the evening.

"I'm a Jedi... no suit and tie for me." Ben tried to get out of it, but his mother slowly turned on him. If looks could kill.

"Hutt wash. You'll wear that suit if I have to change you myself." Leia insisted and just as she said it Rey appeared, looking somewhat confused. "Rey! Perfect timing... I have a nice dress for you... it was my mother's when she was about your age."

"What's going on?" And Rey even more confused than she was moments ago was led off by Leia.

"A ballet, kid. Run while you can." Han called out down the hall in warning, but both Solo men very clearly fearing Leia Organa more than any ballet obeyed and disappeared to get prepared for the night.

* * *

The Galaxies Opera House was an impressive building. Another place for the high class to gather. 

Rey still could hardly believe the pretty dress that she had been given. Something she would never imagine wearing in a million years. It wasn't exactly practical, but it was beautiful and she wouldn't be disrespectful by refusing.

Ben however... she could barely get over seeing him in a suit for the first time. She had only ever seen him in Jedi robes... so to see him in a tux was something else entirely. He really did look like a Prince in it, but more and more she felt as if she really wasn't a part of this world... didn't belong here.

They had a private box for the show. A box fit for a senator. A step above everyone else here to enjoy the show. The best seat in the house if she had to guess.

They settled in darkness for a time as they waited for the show to begin. This was a completely new experience to her, but both Ben and Han looked as if they had been through this before, casually sitting back and waiting.

Music stirred up from somewhere while the curtains drew back to reveal a young woman there, beginning her dance. It started beautiful, bright, but suddenly storm clouds grew over her... it darkened... and the scene changed.

It was a bit hard to follow after that point and although it was beautiful and an absolute work of art to see all these dancers put into it... she was left a bit confused on things here and there.

"Ben..." She leaned over towards him to quietly ask without disturbing the show for anyone else. "What is this show about?"

"It's... about a young woman who's cursed by a Dathomir witch... she's transformed into a squid." He explained the beginning. "And the young prince who's overwhelmed by the duties left to him after his father died... decides to run away on the day he's to wed... he takes off hunting with his friends... and comes across her on the lake... they fall in love." 

"A squid? That's not very romantic." She made a face at the idea of falling in love with a squid of all things.

"She isn't a squid all of the time." He made a gesture at the stage. "As with all fairytales... only true love can break the curse."

"Does it have a happy ending?" The story did seem beautiful in it's own way. Perhaps more and more beautiful the deeper one dug into it. More than what it appeared on the surface if one only looked hard enough.

She felt she might grow to love this tale.

"Well... it's directed by Raj Mrjbaraas." Ben answered, which really was a tell all.

"The guy that wrote that really weird show about the people stranded on the island that everyone at the academy was obsessed with?" 

"That's the one."

"Oh..." Rey sighed. "He wouldn't know a happy ending if it stared him right in the face."

"Sometimes... the most beautiful love stories are pervaded by tragedy." He stated quietly as if he were referring to something familiar. "And besides... if you don't like the ending there's nothing in the galaxy forcing you to accept it. Make your own ending. With the Force... anything could happen. Anything."

There was a shrill beeping that interrupted and Leia sighed, answered the call then appeared to argue with someone in hushed tones. This went on for several moments until Leia finally appeared defeated.

"I'm sorry... something happened with the senate, but I promise I'll make it up to you." Leia informed them, slowly standing and making her way to the door. "Ben, you have my credit. Use it for anything that you would like."

With that Leia was gone. Running off to deal with some political fiasco. 

It didn't take long for Han to clear his throat and loosen his tie. He began to stand up as well, jerking a thumb towards the door.

"I think I'll head out. Check on Chewie... do me a favor and just pretend I stayed 'til the end of the show, huh, Kid?" Han was out just as fast.

A silence settled over them then and she glanced up at Ben's face, waited to see his reaction... but there was nothing. He just stared on ahead at the ballet as if nothing at all had happened. It made her realize that he was used to this.

She finally understood why Ben told her that she should be glad that she didn't remember her parents and that they hadn't shown up. That they would have disappointed her. It was because his disappointed him and they did so often... then tried to buy him off by leaving him with an endless credit account. 

Rey had never understood what it meant when people said that credits couldn't buy happiness... now she understood it. She didn't think that they were bad parents, but... they weren't good ones either. 

"That's the intermission... I'm going to grab a drink... do you want anything?" Ben turned towards her and she was a little surprised by how little he was affected.

"Ben... are you alright?" She couldn't help being a little concerned with how he was taking this in stride. 

"This is nothing new. You get used to it. Don't worry about me, please. Let's just have a fun night. You and me." He requested. "Now... did you need anything?"

"No. I'm alright." She watched as he nodded and then stood, headed out of the box to go for a drink.

Rey took a breath and leaned back in her seat. Maybe she should have known based on the fact that his parents never came to see him at the academy. They all had very different lives... and although they probably cared about one another... those lives kept them very isolated from one another. Galaxies away.

The door opened and she raised a brow. That was fast. He must have forgotten something.

Except as she turned she realized that the grey haired man that dropped so casually into the seat next to her most definitely was not Ben. It was a stranger. Someone that she didn't know at all.

"It's about time they all left." The man began, threw his filthy boots up onto the balcony and leaned back as if he owned this place.

"That's Ben's seat." She didn't quite know what else to say to the man. Wished that she had a lightsaber of her own, but Ben taught her how to fight. She would if she needed to.

"Oh, him. He had his chance. Sure... but I'm here for you." The man informed her. "The name's Ren... your grandfather sent me."

"My... grandfather? You have to have me mistaken for someone else." It didn't make sense. This man here was some stranger trying to play some game. Like a stranger offering a little girl candy.

"No. I have the right girl."

"I know you're lying. My parents left me... not some grandfather." It was something that she was completely sure of. It had to be.

"Lying. Funny thing about lying. Your friend Ben knows all about that..." This man... 'Ren' as he called himself looked particularly smug about that, but still Rey didn't trust him. He felt off. A void of pure darkness.

* * *

The line was incredibly long during intermission. Irritatingly so. Ben sighed and glanced around for awhile as he waited. Tried to just be patient... but the fat lard in front of him was munching his snacks as loud as a damn Orbak. Why couldn't people learn how to chew?

That was it. He couldn't stand it any longer. He simply left the line. Not only because how long it was or that guy's crunching... but because he didn't feel comfortable leaving Rey alone.

As he made his way back up the stairs he paused at the door, felt a familiar presence... one he hadn't felt since... 

Eyes widened he slammed the door open and to his horror found The Master of The Knights of Ren sitting in his seat. He couldn't help himself. He just reacted... grabbed the man by the front of the shirt and dragged him from his seat.

"Stay there." He commanded Rey, getting out the door and then after forcing Ren a short way down the hall slammed him into the wall. "What are you doing here? If you did anything to her I swear I'll-"

"Easy there, sand panther..." Ren held his hands up. "I didn't do anything. I'm only here to tell her the truth... the one that you've been hiding from her."

"You! You think you're going to turn her dark? Make her join your band... is that it?" He rarely felt such a rage, but he knew that Ren would take Rey if he could... turn her into one of his knights... that band was like a pack of wild dogs... with a vicious pecking order, ripping and tearing at one another to climb the ranks... his Rey... she would be torn apart among them.

"That's exactly it."

"You can't have her." He slammed Ren harder into the wall, bared his teeth and drew his saber, jammed the business end up under Ren's chin. He needed to let this man know that he couldn't have Rey... and that he wasn't playing when it came to her.

"Maybe he was wrong about you... there is a dark streak..." Ren answered, but he was being more cautious with his words, knowing that the wrong one would get him killed.

"You think this is dark? This is nothing compared to what I would do to you if you touched her..."

"I'm not afraid of death."

"You think I would kill you? No... no I wouldn't kill you."

"Of course not." Ren scoffed. "A typical Jedi following the boring rules."

"No..." Ben's voiced darkened. "I would do far worse than kill you. If you ever come near Rey again... I'll feed you into a sarlacc pit... and if that wasn't bad enough... I've heard rumor that once you finally have been painfully... slowly digested over a thousand years... your mind becomes one with the sarlacc... and your suffering only continues from there..."

"You wouldn't... you're a Jedi..." There was fear that flashed through the knight's eyes despite his quick attempt at hiding it.

"Wouldn't I?"

"My knights would hunt you to the ends of the galaxy."

"Then they can join you." Ben responded. "The girl... she belongs... to me."

"Ben?" Rey's voice startled him and he quickly glanced over at her. How long had she been standing there?

* * *

Inside the box Rey sat nervously, uneasily... until her fear for Ben got the better of her and she hurried out the door, crept down the hall and caught the tail end of Ben's threat to the man that had interrupted their night.

Something sort of clicked... fell into place... was this what Finn had been talking about before she left? Was this the reason that he had behaved the way he had? Ben threatened him in the same manner?

Stepping out she knew she had to get him under control. He wasn't behaving like a Jedi and that familiar darkness was seeping out from him.

"Ben?" When he heard her voice and glanced at her she swore she caught the faintest glint of yellow the way she had that night in the crystal cave so many years ago. It was gone as quick as she saw it.

"Rey..." He was about to speak, but that man, Ren he shoved Ben's saber aside and smashed his own into Ben's side, hard enough that it had him doubling over and gasping for breath... the man made his escape and Rey couldn't help feel that she was to blame.

"I'm sorry!" 

"No. I have to... I have to stop him... The Knights of Ren are..." Again Ben was breathless and doubling over as quick as he tried to stand up. Not good. She had caused him to be hurt.

"Ben are you-"

"It's fine... he just... knocked the wind out of me." He took a moment to breathe and steady himself, before straightening up finally. "We need to warn Luke that The Knights of Ren are here."

* * *

"The Knights of Ren... what could they be doing there." Luke's form wavered slightly on the call... some kind of interference issue that they tended to have on Yavin. "I'm going to send Hennix, Tai and Voe to assist you. It sounds like you'll need them if the Knights of Ren are involved in affairs there."

"What about Rey? She isn't safe..." This was Ben's first and foremost concern, but there was another matter. "Uncle Luke... Rey said that Ren told her that her grandfather had sent him... you don't... think... he couldn't be alive could he?"

"He shouldn't be, but I find a great deal of people one assumes dead aren't quite so. As for Rey... I think it's time we had some answers... I'm going to Jakku to see what I can lean from the junkyard boss..." Luke informed, stroking his beard slowly in thought. "You do what you can there. Keep her safe. We can't allow her to fall into that man's hands."

"I won't ever allow it." He assured. "Let me know as soon as you have some more information."

"I will. May the Force be with you, Ben." With this the call ended.

Ben slowly turned in his chair and glanced at his mother. She stood there with her arms crossed, having been listening during the call. It was clear to all of them that something was very wrong here.

"This isn't what I wanted for her..." He began quietly. "I wanted... her to have a relaxed time in the city. Experience all that it had to offer her."

"Our expectations never tend to be met do they?" Leia sighed.

"Would you do something for me?"

"Anything, Ben."

"Could you just... take Rey out? Shopping... girly things... whatever it is girls do... just... give her a day out to relax and enjoy. Ren will expect her to be with me. Not you." It was a request that he desperately hoped she would meet. "This will make up for everything for me... if you could just... do this."

"Of course I will, but what about you?" She asked.

"I need to wait for my classmates... and Paige and Dameron are delivering a shipment here to the new temple. I need to wait for all of that." He answered, knowing that worrying about the entire academy was going to be difficult... even more so now. "Maybe... maybe get a little sleep in between."

After all he was tired. He wasn't doing the best either. That blow had taken more out of him than he had been willing to admit.

He was barely able to keep his eyes open as his mother wished him luck and went to gather Rey to take her out. Leaning his head back against the chair he closed his eyes. Just a short nap. That was all he needed.

* * *

It was strange when Leia offered to take her out shopping, but Rey found it oddly enjoyable... the two of them together... just enjoying the day, looking at stores for interesting things... fun iced drinks and snacks. This was what she imagined having a mother must be like. An amazing thing... something that no imagination could ever replace.

Even if Leia wasn't her mother... for a moment she might pretend. 

Still she thought it strange Ben hadn't come with them. Though she understood that he had things that he needed to do at the temple.

Leia kept them out enjoying the city until late. Until she had to return to her duties as a Senator... and Rey was dropped off back at the new temple. The security guards watched her for an awfully long time... until she was inside. Odd. What were they so worried about?

Shaking her had she sighed and made her way down the hall. She was eager to tell Ben about her experiences. After all he was the one that wanted her to enjoy what the city had to offer, but oddly enough.. she couldn't find him in the main room.

She had thought for certain that he would have been there. So she continued on and made her way down the hall with the sleeping quarters. Further until she noted one door cracked open with light pouring through.

He was there, sitting at the edge of the bed. Rey wouldn't be able to hold it against him if he wanted to rest a bit.

As she approached though she noted another person in that room with him. It took a moment to recognize that it was Paige... and even worse when she leaned in to kiss Ben. Inhaling sharply before she could stop it she took a step back.

This was her worst fear realize. This must be the real reason he sent her away. To get her out off the way so that he could have this... whatever this was with Paige.

The sound must have given her away, because the both of them reacted in the room, Ben hurrying to pull open the door and get out to stop her, but... she didn't want to hear it. She quickly turned down the hall.

"Rey..." His voice came... and she ignored it. Kept walking. "Rey this isn't what it looks like... stop... come on..."

Again she didn't want to hear whatever excuses he came up with.

"Rey, I know how you feel about me." His words stopped her in her tracks just the way it had all those years ago. He... knew how she felt about him? It was bad enough that she had to catch him in the act, but now of all the times he had to tell her he knew? "Can you please... listen to me?"

Taking a deep breath she willed herself not to cry and finally turned to face him. Seeing him didn't make her feel any better. His shirt was half tucked in and half out... clearly thrown on in a haste. So that was what they had been doing... of course.

"I don't want to hear it." She didn't want to hear all the details of Ben and Paige she couldn't stand it. It was bad enough to know what was going on, but hearing the details...

"Ben, just tell her. Stop being such a... a man about it." Paige scolded.

"Just hear me out." 

"No." Rey again refused, about to turn before he caught her by the arm.

"Listen to me... it's past time we've had this talk." He crouched in front of her maybe to be on level with her, but it felt more patronizing than anything else. "I love you, Rey. Very much. More than I've ever loved anything... but I can't be what you want me to be. As much as you don't want to hear it, Rey... you're a child. I'm an adult... and I have a responsibility to you."

He said it firmly and with such conviction. Of course she had known that nothing would come of her feelings, but there had been that hope that perhaps... when she was older she might have a chance...

And then the tears came despite herself. She'd tried hard, but in vain... and Ben's face fell...

"Sweetheart, please don't cry." He reached up to brush her tears, to care for her as he always did, but she jerked her face away and stepped back from him. She didn't want him to touch her anymore. "I know it doesn't feel like it, but eventually you're going to grow out of this crush... I'm sorry that I had to be the one to hurt you."

It didn't help. None of his words helped. 

It felt like her entire world had just crashed down around her. Like nothing would ever be okay again... and for the first time in her life she didn't want anything to do with him. She jerked her arm from his grasp and once she was free...  
  
Rey walked away from Ben Solo.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There's a lot to break down in this chapter. A lot has happened. All I can say is... it really isn't what it looks like. I gave a hint as to what was happening. I am true to my tags. I just hope it wasn't too terrible a chapter. It was late and I was tired.
> 
> I apologize for how long this took and how long future chapters might take, but if you follow me on tumblr you'll know that I don't have any family left. So I made the choice to sell the farm. It's too hard to take care of on my own... unfortunately my father was a hoarder and left me with a mess. I had to clean the farm up before I could sell it. Months of agonizing work. Then to top it off as I was leaving for work I noticed my dog hadn't seen me off... odd, but it was cold... and I thought nothing of it at the time, but when I arrived home he was still in bed. I knew something was seriously wrong. I took him in and got the diagnoses we all dread. Cancer. 2020 truly has been the year from hell for me. Many others I suspect.
> 
> But I hope things are going to be better in 2021. For all of us. I am currently living in an RV I bought which I have lovingly dubbed The Millennium Falcon and hope to have my own Star Wars-esque adventures in... provided the Mayan that wrote 2012 wasn't dyslexic. Jokes aside... I wish everyone a happy new year. I hope this long chapter makes up for the wait. Until the next time I have internet access. ヾ(°∇°*)


	13. Chapter 13

A hand tapping his shoulder woke him, startled him from his dreamless sleep and he looked up to find Paige there staring at him. He realized that his nap must have turned into a sleep long enough to miss the arrival of their shipment.

"Are you alright, Ben?" Of course someone so kind as Paige would always be concerned with his well being. It made his heart swoon.

"I'm... I'm fine. Just dozed off I guess." He slowly started to stand, though grimaced at the pain in his side. Something that clearly didn't go unnoticed. "I'll help you unload."

They both headed out the door and down to the hanger where Poe Dameron was already unloading... with help from Tai. It would seem that his classmates had arrived... or at least one of them had.

"Hey, Solo." Dameron greeted with a wave. One that he merely rolled his eyes at, made his way over to pick up a box.

Except the moment that he began to lift... pain exploded down his side and the box dropped. It caught everyone's attention while Paige sighed and placed her hands on her hips as she stared at him firmly.

"That's it. You're coming with me." She grabbed him by the arm and led him down the hall to the nearest room where she forced him to sit down on the bed. "What did you do this time?"

"I... it's nothing." There was no way he could show such a weakness to Paige of all people. He would look like a terrible Jedi that couldn't fight.

"You looked like you were about to have an aneurism... it's not even close to fine. Let's see it... NOW, Solo." Paige wasn't playing around. So after a moment of hesitation he did slowly untie the front of his rooms and slide them off over his shoulder to reveal the massive bruise along his ribs. From there Paige leaned over to have a look. "So what happened?"

"Knights of Ren showed up... tried to take Rey." He answered, though he felt ashamed of himself as he did. "I made a stupid mistake getting distracted."

"I heard they were here." Paige reached down and prodded the bruise. It hurt unlike anything he'd ever felt before, but he tried to keep a straight face. "Ben Solo... you should have had this looked at... this is a hematoma... it needs to be drained."

"I didn't want Rey to know. She would have blamed herself." It was stupid and he knew that it was, but the idea of her knowing and feeling guilty. He could hardly stand even the thought of it. "Please don't say anything to her about it."

Again Paige sighed and placed her hands on her hips. Stared down at him firmly, but eventually did nod.

"Alright... on the condition you let me take care of this. It can't go untreated." She told him. He nodded, assuming that it was a fair deal... and he would like some relief from the intense pain if she could provide it. "This is going to hurt."

"I know..." Ben was well aware of the process, watched her place a towel down on the bed under his side as she picked up the medical box she'd brought along.

Paige carefully disinfected the area, then pulled a blade from the kit and slowly started to cut into his flesh. These sharp blades hurt in a strange sort of way... an odd sharpness that he didn't know how to describe... what came next he couldn't tell what hurt worse... she began to press on the wound to work out all the blood clots.

It was a painful, but he didn't think more painful than his run in with the beast on Yavin when the kids had gotten themselves into trouble with the wildlife there. Sometimes those wounds still ached...

"Almost done..." She informed quietly, finishing with a clean, fresh bandage. "Thank you, by the way... for trying to protect Rose the way you did."

When Paige leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek... for just a moment he felt a little bit like a knight in shining armor. A real hero. Someone worth while. It was an absolute dream come true... until a gasp caught his attention and that dream shattered into a nightmare.

"Rey..." He breathed, quickly snatched up his robes and tried to hurry and put them on the correct way to hide the bandages. He couldn't quite get it... had to leave it half unfinished as he hurried out the door. 

What followed next was perhaps the most difficult thing that he had ever done in his entire life... breaking Rey's heart. This wasn't the way that he wanted it to happen, but he felt that perhaps it was time to rip it off like a bandage. Just get it over with.

"Even if you didn't want to tell her you were hurt... you could have at least told her I was just thanking you for watching out for Rose." Paige supplied, seeming to feel bad for Rey just as much as he did.

"I didn't want her to ask why. What happened to Rose is... private." He answered. "I am sorry that Finn broke it off once he got what he wanted."

"We all hoped for better from Finn." She answered. "But Rose is strong... and she's been spending some time with Poe. He's done a lot to make her feel better."

"I'm glad." He closed his eyes for a moment, placed a hand at his side. It still ached. "I think... I need to sit down. Just for a minute."

Paige looked like she had a lot that she wanted to say, but in the end they both parted ways... both had to return to their duties. As much as he thought she was beautiful both inside and out... he knew that Paige didn't feel that way for him and even if she did... he was a Jedi and he had an oath to uphold. They couldn't be together. It was forbidden.

* * *

"My sister and Ben Solo?" Rose placed her hands on her hips and raised a brow, disbelieving of her sister having some affair with a Jedi, but... Rey was upset and so Rose knew that something had happened. Though most certainly not what it appeared to be. "If my sister liked Solo she would have told me. Are you sure?"

"He was getting dressed... and badly... what else could they have been doing?" Rey wrapped her arms around her legs and buried her face into her knees.

"Strip Sabacc? I don't know." Still it was hard for Rose to see her best friend so sad. After what had happened with Finn she knew the way that Rey must be feeling right now. Devastated. Heartbroken. The difference was... Rose knew that there was no way that Paige would have been doing anything with Ben Solo of all people.  
"He told me I was just a child..." 

"Maybe it wasn't completely fair for him to tell you that you're a child, but... he's a little right. Fourteen is still too young for a relationship."

"At fourteen you can be Queen of Naboo." Rey's tone came across a bit petulant and Rose rolled her eyes, but decided it was best not to argue too much... there was no sense in making her friend feel worse.

Still Rose knew it was a little unfair. Rey was the baby of the group. She had been the youngest at the academy for the longest time and that had to be hard on her. All she had ever had was Ben. 

"Maybe it's a good thing that you want some space." Rose decided. "You've only ever spent your time with him... now you can explore on your own a little. You have a whole city."

"I don't even know this city."

"Well I do. We make deliveries here all the time. I could take you." It was a sudden suggestion that had caught Rey's interest. 

"Leia did take me out shopping... I have clothes... actual clothes. Nobody would recognize me without these." Rey gestured to the Jedi robes and Rose smiled.

"Let's do it. It will be great for the both of us to forget our man trouble."

"You're having troubles with Finn?" That last comment clearly caught her off guard.

"I... it's..." Rose sort of wanted to say it was more adult conversation, but Rey already felt bad enough being treated like a child and she supposed that she was old enough now to hear this sort of a thing. "Finn and I slept together... and then the next day he told me we weren't right for each other."

"Finn did that?"

"Yeah. And then Solo threatened to feed him to a Sarlacc... I guess he's not the worst."

"Oh." Rey nodded slowly, looking down as if she were thinking.

"But we don't need to think about that. Tonight we're going to have fun and forget about boys." Rose offered a smile and tucked her arm into Rey's. "Let's go. Girl's night out."

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tai's voice dragged him from his daze. It was too hard to focus on anything after fighting with Rey. That was all that he could think about. It was gnawing away at his bones.

"Fine. I just... I should check on her. Maybe-"

"Maybe you should give her some space."

"I'm trying." Ben rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "I just hate leaving things this way."

"Fine. I'll check on her if it will quiet you up, Solo." Voe huffed and pushed back from her seat so that she could head down to the sleeping quarters and get this over with already. "we need to focus on The Knights of Ren... not petty arguments."

"Sorry." Tai apologized. "She's a little grouchy today."

Ben crossed his arms over his chest and wanted to ask when Voe wasn't grouchy, but he had a feeling that wasn't going to go over very well so he didn't dare push it. 

"Focusing on Rey is focusing on the Knights... they want Rey." 

"What in the world could they want with little Rey?" Hennix questioned, hand upon his chin inquisitively.

Although Ben knew the answer to this he couldn't say. This was something that only he and Luke knew. Nobody else could ever learn the truth about Rey. He wouldn't allow her to suffer through what he did once everyone knew that Vader was his grandfather.

Vader... how could it have been that a monster like that was his grandfather? Although the more he learned about Vader the more he had gradually come to understand. It came down to love. He had done all that he had because he had wanted to save his wife. Ben knew that if it came down to Rey... he would burn the galaxy for her too.

"Ben!" Voe's voice jerked him violently from his thoughts again. "Rey is gone."

"What?!" He stood so fast that his chair fell over behind him. Ignoring the pain he sprinted down the halls as quickly as he could, skidding to a stop at her room and looking around everywhere. Nothing.

He reached out with the Force for her presence and couldn't find it there either. He was beginning to panic.

"Where could she have gone?" Tai panted, having finally caught up with him. Turning to Tai he grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him desperately. 

"We have to find her... Ren... The Knights... they could have taken her." There was a desperation in his voice that he knew a Jedi should never have, but how could he help it?

"Ben, you have to calm down." Tai tried to grab his elbows and steady him. "She can't have gotten far. We'll find her."

* * *

This was her first girl's night out. Things like this didn't happen at the academy. It didn't make her forget about Ben or the way that he had hurt her, but it certainly made things easier being able to keep her mind on something else. At first she hadn't thought that it was going to be very effective considering how miserable she had been, but as it turned out things seemed to be working out just as Rose had planned.

It was full of dancing and music... and ice cream. Really who needed men when ice cream existed?

As with all good things it didn't last. Rey glanced over just in time to notice Poe with something resembling panic on his face... until he spotted the two of them and hurried over to their table.

"What are you two doing? Are you crazy?" Poe's first words were not at all what either of them had expected. "The Knights of Ren are in this city and they want Rey... you just went out for a casual stroll?"

"We can handle ourselves, Poe." Rose defended, retrieving that trusty stun weapon she kept with her at all times. 

"Yeah? Tell that to him." Poe gestured back to Ben who had just entered and looked absolutely furious. There flanked by Tai and Voe he hurried towards the table where Poe was and even Poe flinched and stepped back.

"Rey, what were you thinking? Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Ben's voice came across with a mixture of emotions, but... Rey looked away from him. She couldn't even look at him without recalling how he'd come out half dressed after being with Paige.

"Since you were occupied with other things. I didn't think you'd even notice." She heard his sharp inhale in response. As if he had physically hit him.

"How could you even say that-" Taking another breath he shook his head. "No... I can't... let you off easy this time. What you've done was reckless and foolish. You know the Knights of Ren are after you."

"I'm not a child. The academy taught me everything I need to know. I can take care of myself..."

"You're no Jedi yet. You have no lightsaber. You're my padawan and you'll obey me."

"You don't get to order me around, Ben." Rey felt infuriated that he was daring to pull this Master card on her. How dare he? Hadn't he done enough? "I'm not going with you."

"You say you're not, but you're certainly acting like a child." He snapped back.

At these words Rey stood from the table, up to her full height to face him even if it wasn't much on someone as tall as Ben. Still he wasn't going to let him push her around. He had no right.

"Take a hint. I don't want to be around you."

This fight was drawing eyes. People were looking. It must look pretty bad... a group of Jedi appearing to bully some young girls. They must have realized it too, because finally Ben took a step back with a shake of his head.

"Then you'll return to the temple with Tai and Voe." He slowly backed into the crowd to leave and give her the space that she wanted, but Tai and Voe remained. It seemed that there was no choice. Ben was using his power as the Jedi in charge of this temple to drag her back by force... more bricks added to the wall between them.

* * *

Watching from a place in the crowd he made sure that Tai and Voe left with Rey. it wasn't something that he wanted to do, but it just wasn't safe for her out here alone right now. Once he took care of the knights then she could freely do as she pleased... just not now.

He should return to the temple now... and yet... with a weary glance towards the bar he decided that he needed a drink right now more than anything. This hadn't been easy... any of it... and Rey not wanting to speak with him made him ache inside in a way that he couldn't even begin to describe.

If only he could just explain. Maybe once she cooled down then he would have a chance. Though he imagined that it was going to take a bit longer after what he'd been forced to pull here tonight.

Taking a seat he waved to get the bartenders attention. The moment that a drink slid down he took a drink, grimaced at the burn of the strong alcohol... and then the seat next to him was suddenly filled.

"Is drinking something Jedi do often?" Rose asked.

"You didn't return with Rey." He mused, but didn't look at her as he took another drink.

"Are you going to drink that whole bottle? You better not be flying-"

"Rose..." Ben inhaled deeply. "What do you want?"

"What happened between you and my sister?"

"Ah. That." He gave her a brief look. "Why don't you ask your sister?"

"You look like you need to talk." Rose admitted.

"Nothing happened." Taking a look to make sure nobody was paying attention he reached down to lift the edge of his robe up over his side to reveal the bandages. "She was just helping me with this..."

"I knew Paige would never have slept with you!" And then Rose grimaced the moment that she said it. "Sorry. I don't mean it like that."

"I get it." 

"No. I mean you're really cute. I promise." Rose insisted.

"Uh-huh." Oddly enough he didn't sense that Rose was lying about that one. 

"So do you want to talk? About what's bothering you?"

"You already know. These... knights... they want Rey... it's going to be so much harder to protect her when she hates me." He breathed in deeply and took another drink. 

"She doesn't hate you."

"But she will." There was a moment when he hesitated... but... Rose was a good and trust worthy person. "What would you do if you knew something about someone that they didn't. Something that... if they knew it would hurt them very badly. Would you tell them the truth or keep hiding it?"

"Hm." Rose looked curious, although she didn't pry. She was good like that. "I would tell the truth. Even if it hurts... the truth is what sets us free."

"Yeah... I guess you're right." He took another drink and then felt her hand on his shoulder.

"I guess you've earned a drink. Go ahead and do your thing. I'll fly you home."

"Thanks, Rose."

* * *

Luke Skywalker finally arrived on Coruscant. His hands were folded into his sleeves as he slowly approached the temple and admired the work that his sister had put into it. Leia had really outdone herself this time, but then... she also knew how important the Jedi were to the galaxy.

Upon the top of the steps Ben waited for him and Luke noted the oddity that Rey wasn't there at her side. He never realized how much they were together until they weren't. 

"You've done well, Ben." As Luke reached the top step he felt proud of his nephew... and regretted that night and how things could have been vastly different thanks to deceit. "I'm sorry that I didn't see it until now. My vision was clouded before. It's clear now."

"Thank you, uncle." He nodded. "Everything is well here, but I haven't been able to locate the knights yet. They're crafty."

"We'll find them." Luke responded as both men turned to step into the temple. 

"How are things at the academy?"

"Well. Tekka is watching over the students." 

"Ah." 

"Where is Rey?" He finally asked and watched Ben make a face.

"I'm... afraid that my padawan is rebelling against me. There was a... misunderstanding." Ben began cautiously. "I was trying to give her time, but... it's been weeks."

"A teenager rebelling... imagine that." Luke offered a cheeky smile, but patted his shoulder gently. "I know this can't be easy for you. You've been given a very difficult task. To split your attention between running the temple and protecting that girl. I think for now... we need to hide Rey until the Knights are dealt with... or... he's dealt with."

"Hide her? Where?" This clearly surprised Ben. He hadn't been expecting it, but seemed relieved to not be forced to deal with everything all at once.

"Somewhere that worked for your grandmother."

* * *

Naboo. If the capital city and surrounding lakes weren't so beautiful he was certain that Rey would be a lot more angry with him and Luke for deciding that she needed to be hidden away. It was of her own making of course... if she hadn't run away that night there wouldn't be a need to do this.

They were here now though and he wished that it was under better circumstances. There were so many things that Naboo had to offer... but Rey hadn't spoken to him since all of this began and he wasn't sure what to do anymore.

It was even to the point that she had taken to walking ahead of him so that she could be as far from him as possible. It did hurt... made his chest ache in a way that he couldn't even begin to describe. 

He missed talking to her. He missed holding her. She was so close and yet she felt so far away from him. It was hard to reconcile. All he could really do was hope that things could be better here.

Although he did notice her stop ahead of him and glance into a window. It made him pause as well... she'd shown no interests in shopping or buying anything before and so he wondered what it was that could have caught her attention this way. 

Carefully... as one might approach a skittish creature he made his way closer to her, close enough to notice it was a pet shop that she'd took notice of. He supposed it made sense... material possessions never mattered much to her.

The moment was gone once he was close enough. Rey made to put distance between the two of them and continued on, despite the fact that he sensed she wanted to ask him what the strange little creature in the window was.

He noted a colorful little-loth cat. Tan as the desert sand with a mud brown stripe running down it's back. A curious little creature that pawed the glass desperately in attempts to reach through to him or to get his attention.

Sighing deeply he rubbed a hand over his eyes and shook his head, glanced then between the shop and Rey. She was getting too far away. He would have to run to catch up to her.

* * *

"Can I take you riding? The Naberrie family owns a good stock of Orbaks." His voice came across as just being on the edge of pleading. It was hard to ignore when he sounded so desperate. "I promise that it will just be the two of us here. No Jedi. No Sith. No Academy... no Paige. Just you and I."

The boatman didn't really seem to mind what they were talking about... or even be paying attention. Rey just wished he wouldn't say these things in front of someone else.

She breathed in and then let that breath out slowly to calm herself. if she was honest she didn't know what to say anymore. What he said sounded good, but it still hurt her that he could so casually sleep around and then never think about it again. Sort of like Finn with Rose. Men were a lot like the sand panthers on Jakku it seemed. Went into heat, got it out of their system and went on about their day.

"The Festival of Light is coming up. I always wanted to take you there." He continued on, cradling his pack oddly in his lap. As if he was scared of tipping over into the water... funny... she never took Ben as someone to be afraid of being on a boat... or maybe he was just that nervous without her to talk to.

Had this been what he was like before she came into his life? Her mind went back to a particular piece of paper and she closed her eyes. No... she knew what he had been like before. She saw the inky evidence of it. What if he felt like that again because of her?

"If I say yes will it make you stop asking?" She glanced at him briefly and watched him nod... noted that he actually looked like maybe he might cry with relief that she had finally after all this time spoken to him... afraid that if he verbally answered he'd wake up from a dream. 

The boat finally arrived at it's destination. Came to a stop at the estate on the lakeside. It was beautiful. If nothing else about this trip... the planet was stunning. A place that she was glad that she was able to see.

Climbing off the boat carefully she made her way up the docks, heard Ben's stumbling step behind her as he followed after her. 

The estate had been kept clean by old droids. Ones that had probably been around since it had been built generations ago. She would imagine that these droids needed an update. 

A few sheets covered the furniture here and there. It seemed the place had been abandoned for some time. Odd to think that Ben's grandmother... the queen of Naboo had taken refuge here.

Running a hand along the back of the couch she then began to remove the sheet protecting from dust and very carefully folding it to put it away properly. After all they were going to be staying here for as long as Luke saw fit.

Funny that before she would have looked forward to spending time with Ben in a lake house away from the rest of the galaxy... now it didn't really matter to her. It didn't mean what it would have meant before.

And still as she removed the coverings one by one Ben was still standing there awkwardly holding that bag clutched to his chest like a child. It wasn't his usual behavior. In fact looking at him closely clearly revealed how little he had been sleeping... dark, dark circles under his eyes.

She was starting to worry about him if she was honest.

Before she could ask she heard the arrival of another boat. That would be his mother bringing them some supplies. Still Ben stood there awkwardly for a moment or two before he took his bag into the room he had decided on for himself.

Sighing to herself she began to gather up all the sheets and then placed them on the nearby table until she figured out where these things went.

In the kitchen she heard Leia setting down some sort of heavy box on the counter and then sighing loudly. "No, Han... I haven't told him yet."

That caught Rey's attention. It must be something about Ben, but what could it be?

"Because I know how much stress he's been under. How can I tell him something like that right now?" A pause and then a huff. "No I will not 'rip it off like a bacta patch'.'"

"Tell me what?" Too late it seemed. Ben's voice came from behind her... he must've just placed his bag in his room and come out to greet his mother... just in time to hear the last part of that.

There was a long silence before Leia slowly turned, finished her call with Han and then looked Ben over carefully.

"Maybe you should sit down." Her tone was gentle, but it was firm and Ben slowly moved to pull out a chair at the little island in the middle of the kitchen. "Your father and I are getting a divorce."

Rey gasped impulsively, pressed a hand over her mouth immediately to silence herself. This wasn't her business. She was in no position to react to this, but she was just so shocked by this news. Han and Leia getting a divorce? It didn't seem real. They were the galaxy's couple... everyone knew about them.

"Oh." Ben's tired voice came back with something simple and if possible his shoulder's slumped and he seemed even more weary than he had been previously. "I'll pass on dinner tonight... I'm too tired."

With that he pushed himself up and then made his way back to his room. Not a single word said. The only sound being the closing of his door behind him. 

"You sounded more surprised than he did." Leia took Ben's seat and leaned her face into her hand. 

"You're really getting a divorce? Why?" 

"We both agreed that it was for the best. Sometimes people grow apart... or maybe they were never right for one another in the first place." Leia looked stressed regardless of them both agreeing to this. "We never planned for children... Ben was a... happy accident... but Han... he could never look past Vader."

"That doesn't sound fair."

"You have to understand... Han was tortured by my father during the war. It left a mark despite all his posturing. It doesn't make it fair of course. Still I tried to understand how he felt."

"I'm sorry." Rey wished that she could do something for her. "I guess I just thought you two would last forever."

"So did I... or I hoped." Leia mourned the ending of a relationship... or what she had hoped that relationship would be like perhaps. Maybe she mourned that Han wasn't the man that she thought that he was... and Rey supposed she could relate to that a little right now.

But Leia wasn't the only person hurting right now. This must be destroying Ben on top of everything else. She was well aware that running the temple was putting a great deal of strain on him... and now... now he must be even worse off.

While she didn't want to leave Leia she also knew that it wasn't a good idea to leave Ben alone when he was in the shape that he was in. 

So despite still not being ready to talk to him she made her way to his room, knocked a couple times before just entering his room.

As expected he wasn't even asleep. He sat there at the edge of his bed with his head hanging down, arms draped over his knees as he stared at the floor without really seeing it. It was entirely possible he didn't even notice she was there yet.

She came to sit down next to him and still he didn't move or say anything. He looked completely zoned out. Maybe Ben had finally reached his limit and snapped... he'd taken on a lot.

"Come here, Ben." She gently patted her lap and watched the way he very slowly lifted his head to glance at her. His eyes were red. He must've been crying before. 

"Aren't you still mad at me?"

"A little." It was best to be honest that she was still upset, but she also wanted him to have a little peace and she knew all that it took was to hold him. A little affection.

After some deliberation he finally did put one leg up on the bed and then the other before turning onto his side to rest his head in her lap. His relief was almost instant. He let out a breath that it sounded like he'd been holding for an eternity.

"I'm sorry." His voice sounded small as she placed her hands in his hair and gently stroked through it. "I never wanted for things to be like this between us..."

Pressing her lips together in a thin line she remained silent. Just because she had come to try and make him feel better didn't mean that she wanted to talk about things. There really wasn't anything to be said.

Perhaps it was her own fault. She had always known that Ben loved Paige. Of course things would have ended up like this. She was the one that was a stupid child that could have never stood a chance no matter how much she might love him.

A thud caught her attention. Ben's pack had fallen over on it's side... and then it... inched across the floor? A slight shift of the bag and it went a little bit further across the floor. 

"Ben... your bag is alive?"

"Huh?" He sat up slowly and watched the bag trying to inch across the room. "Ah, that. Close your eyes."

"What? Why?" Her voice rose in pitch. What was he trying to pull here?

"Trust me, please?" 

It was a simple request and sighing, she did as he requested. She had come here to make him feel better so the least she could do was humor him. She just hoped he was going to explain everything.

After a moment or two and a little bit of shuffling around she felt his weight shift the mattress as he sat down next to her again.

"What are you-"

"You can open them now." He informed softly and the moment that she did she was greeted by the sight of that little tan creature that she saw in the window. It shocked her, but he was holding it out for her and she had no choice except to take it. "I brought you a gift... I just... didn't want to give it to you while you were so mad at me... I didn't want you to think I was bribing you to not be so angry."

"He's... what is he?"

"A loth-cat... well... kitten. He's very young." 

The little lot-cat started to purr as it started to circle in her lap and make itself comfortable where Ben had previously done so. She had never had a pet before... didn't know what to do with it... though after a moment or so decided to gently reached a hand down to pet it.

The creature ate that affection up. Honestly the way it reacted to being pet, lifting it's spine up into her hands reminded her a little bit of the way Ben reacted and honestly... a similar noise.

"He sounds like you."

"Me?" He sounded surprised, not quite comprehending the meaning.

"You." She reaffirmed even if he didn't understand. "Ben, Jedi aren't allowed to have pets..."

"I won't tell if you won't." That sounded like the familiar old Ben that she knew.

Although she was still a bit hesitant she glanced up at him and feeling a familiar rush of affection... wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek in thanks. It was something that Ben instantly melted into.

That reminded her just how tired he must be. 

"I'll stay with you tonight so you can sleep." She informed him, inching back on the bed with the kitten still in arm. 

As she laid down the kitten made it's place curled up against her stomach and after a moment Ben settled down behind her. It felt just as it did before. A little strange after weeks of not sleeping in the same bed... and a little more strange with a kitten curling against her.

"I love you." His low voice sounded raw, desperate. "Rey... I love you so much. Sometimes I think you have no idea."

It almost hurt to hear him say it... and hearing him say it and in that tone only left her feeling more confused about the way that she felt about him. Yes, she knew that he didn't mean it in that way, but still... hearing it like that... she didn't know how to feel anymore.

There was still a lot of hurt on her end, but Ben needed to sleep. He needed some comfort... and he was trying so hard to make it all up to her. She had to give him that chance... though she doubted she would get much sleep after everything. She had a lot of thinking to do.

So while he slept she preoccupied herself by gently stroking along the kittens little brown ears, watched the gentle rise and fall of it's belly as it slept. At least tonight she could come to one solid conclusion...

loth-kittens were adorable.

* * *

The Orbaks in the stables were tall, powerful creatures. Intimidating and beautiful all in one. It was no wonder Ben had seemed so eager to ride again. It would be quite something to take one of these magnificent creatures for a run.

In the back a dark motion caught her attention. A huge black Orbak reared up, slammed his hooves against the stone and snorted as if enraged by their presence here. It was clear that he was the biggest one here... and no surprise that appeared to be the one that Ben had decided on riding... even if she thought that he was crazy for the attempt.

"Is that really the one you're going to pick?"

"I've ridden Charal before. It just takes a firm hand. He's a good steed." Ben slowly led the massive beast over to a station where he began to saddle up. She was surprised by how much strength Ben put into tightening the saddle around the poor beast...

"Isn't that too tight?"

"No. He's breathed a lungful of air. A little trick they pull to slide the saddle off." Ben reached up to stroke a hand slowly down the creatures neck. "Did you pick one, yet?"

"Not yet." Rey breathed in deeply and looked down the rows of Orbaks. There was one that looked gentle and calm. A shade of pure white. "What about that one?"

Pausing in saddling the animal Ben glanced down at the one she gestured to and then he nodded.

"Okay. Bring her."

"By myself?"

"You'll be fine. Just keep your presence in the force soothing and calm. Don't be afraid or she'll sense it." He continued to work on getting his ready for the ride as she approached the gate.

This Orbak was vastly different from Ben's. Sweet. Gentle. There was no issue when she approached it and opened the gate to lead it out. Just a slow, patient walk down the rows towards the station to saddle her.

Though this was something Ben had to do for her. She had no experience, but he did make sure to show her how it was done. Not just to buckle, but to tie the end of the saddle's strap as well so it was secure... and to watch for them breathing in so that the saddle would end up loose while riding.

Once that was all settled he led them outside and then gestured for her to mount up as he did the same.

The moment that they were mounted up and outside she noticed the almost instant change in the brute. It seemed that despite the rough exterior... underneath he was a gentle giant... and she supposed that it shouldn't surprise her. This Orbak and Ben seemed to be a perfect fit.

They started off at a slow pace. It allowed her to get used to riding. Although once she got the hang of it, Ben taught her how a little nudge at the Orbak's sides would get it going faster... the reigns slowed it.

With that he kicked his Orbak into a sprint, leaving her to catch up with him.

It was freeing unlike anything else that she'd ever felt in her life. Just to be able to ride through the wide open fields with nothing to hold them back. It was a little like flying... in some strange way.

But there was no doubt in saying it was a kind of freedom. It explained why Ben enjoyed getting away from everything to go for a ride like this. Why he wanted to take her and had always insisted it was something she had to experience.

Though eventually they came to a stop near a group of waterfalls. The field was open as the rest... there were creatures she wasn't familiar with grazing among them.

Finally Ben dismounted and glanced over at her to make sure she managed just as well as he had... she made a point to show she didn't need his help as she hopped down. She needed to prove to him that she was growing up. That she wasn't a child that needed him for everything.

"This way." He took his orbak by the reigns through the field and towards the waterfall... just along the edge of the water. "I thought with all this water around... you'd like to go swimming... this is a good place."

"You did?" She was reminded of how glad she was that he'd taught her how to swim back on Yavin. She would hate to take time to learn when she wanted to explore these blue waters... except... "What about these creatures... what are they?"

"Uhm..." He took a look around as he untied the front of his robes. "Really fat?"

"Really? They're not dangerous?"

"I really have no idea. Definitely herbivores. So no. Not dangerous." 

"You really don't know?" This surprised her even more. Usually he was like a book of knowledge.

"I don't know everything." He shrugged his shirt off casually and then stripped down to basics like he didn't have a care in the world.

Taking a breath Rey tried her hardest not to stare. In all of her anger she had almost forgotten how built up that Ben was. He spent a lot of time keeping in shape for a multitude of reasons... because he was a Jedi for one and secondly because he wouldn't ever let someone push him or her around again.

"Are you coming?" His words pulled her out of her thoughts again.

"Right. Sorry." There was no problem with her stripping down to basics. He wouldn't look twice at her that way. 

At least they finally had a relaxing day away from the rest of the galaxy. It was perhaps the first time in either of their lives that they didn't to worry about anyone or anything else... and that was how they spent the rest of the day.

A long swim and then finally a rest in the fields after they had dried off and dressed. Again as he laid there leaning back under the sun Rey was reminded of her loth-kitten sitting in the window and bathing in the sun... a tiny part of her wanted to name him Ben the second.

The Orbaks grazed with the strange blob creatures that were out eating. Seemed they were enjoying their day out just as much.

And yet... that question that had been eating away at her for such a long time returned... spurred on by what Ren had said. It was perhaps what combined with his little tryst with Paige that had pushed her so far... now... she had to ask. She had to know. They sent her all the way out here to protect her... from what? Who was looking for her?

"Why did you and Luke send me here? Why do the Knights of Ren want me?" She began, watched the way his brow slowly furrowed even with his eyes closed. "Who were my parents that... the Knights want me?"

After a moment or two Ben slowly peeked an eye open before sitting up and giving her a look... like this was something that he didn't want to discuss.

"Rey... let it go."

"No. I need to know, Ben." Standing up she took a step back from him, arms wrapping around herself protectively. "Ren said that you knew."

"I-..." He stood up slowly as well, began to look more and more nervous. "They would have disappointed you."

"Ben. Just tell me."

"You already know the truth." Ben lowered his head after saying it. Almost like he was defeated.

And it was there. Deep down somewhere. She knew the truth of it all. She knew what her parents had done... and she couldn't say it. No matter how hard he might try to goad her she shook her head and took another step back from him.

"Ben..."

"They were filthy junk traders that sold you off for drinking money." He finally came out with it and she felt the tears. Not only because she knew that it was true, but because they didn't want her... and because Ben knew all along and lied to her. "Your father needed to drink... because he couldn't handle the truth of who he was or what he came from... Rey... you're a Palpatine."

"You lied to me!" Again she took several more steps back from him, pressed a hand over her mouth at the revelation. A Palpatine... how could that be true? How could he have hidden that from her? 

"No, Rey... I... I never lied to you... I just... hid the information I thought would hurt you..."

"It's the same thing, Ben!" Shaking her head she watched him take a couple steps closer, while she only backed up. "You knew how it hurt to be lied to about your family and you still chose to hide it from me. You did the same thing to me your parents did to you... you should have known better!"

"Rey... I.... please... I'm sorry... I never..." He took another couple steps and it was one too many for Rey.

"Stay away from me." She demanded, reaching out a hand and throwing him back with the force, right back into the lake, drenching him clothes and all. 

Rey didn't wait for him to drag himself from the lake. She grabbed her Orbak, hurried to mount up on it and kicked it into a hard sprint. She had to get away from him... from all of it... everything she had ever known was a lie.

* * *

It had gotten late and Leia had decided to stay the night at the lake house. It was perhaps something that she needed just as much with everything that was going on... and there was so much happening in the senate right now. Agents of the Empire infiltrating the government in attempts to reestablish a new Empire... the possibility of the Emperor being alive...

The door slammed open revealing Rey, but there was no pleasant conversation as she had with the girl in passing as she usually did. Just straight to her room. 

All was quiet then after that.

At least until the door opened to Ben next and Leia raised a brow at his appearance, smiling slightly and shaking her head.

"Ben Solo... you are soaking wet... what-..." And that was when she sensed it, noticed the pain and hurt coming off of him in waves. Humor faded to concern. "Oh, Ben... what happened?"

Standing she hurried to get him a towel and draped it over him, did her best to dry him off a little, but his eyes were only focused on the bedroom door. It didn't take long before he slowly broke down in her arms.

"She never wants to see me again." His voice broke completely and it was hard for Leia to remember a time that she had ever seen him so hurt. Not since he was a boy... now she had no idea how to console him.

"Here... Ben come sit down. Tell me what happened..." Leia didn't mind the water he tracked in... the droids would handle that. For now she needed to find out what it was that had happened.

There were no words. No matter how hard he tried to get them out the only thing he could do was cry... and she held him. It didn't make everything better, but that was all that she could do.

It was a long time before he had cried all he could... before there were no more tears left and he was rendered numb under the pain. 

"I told her the truth... about her family."

"I see." Leia took the edge of the towel, tried to gently dry some of his hair and keep it back from his eyes. "Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe she just needs times to come to term with it."

"Not this time... I lost her." Of this... he was agonizingly... painfully aware of.

* * *

The moment that Rey had gotten within the safety of her room and locked the door the first thing she did was rip her hair down from it's three bun style. It held no meaning anymore. She didn't need it so that some long lost family could recognize her and finally accept her home... 

It had all been some stupid fantasy. Something that would never come true and she should have known. She waited all these years hoping for nothing. She wasted all this time... and now she had no family. She had nobody.

Ben was a filthy liar. He had known and kept this truth hidden from her since the very beginning. She couldn't forgive him. Not this time. Not when all the hurts added up into one big ball of pain.

At some point she felt Ben's presence. He sat at the door and waited, slowly slid with his back to it down to it on the floor and just... continue to wait. 

Rey took a deep breath and approached it, but instead of opening it she made sure that it was locked tight. Eventually she placed her back to it and slid to sit down as well. A little part of her... deep down... perhaps the shared soul of theirs... she longed to be near him and take comfort in him again.

But that time was past. 

This was how the next few days played out. Ben sitting at the door and desperately hoping she would speak to him. The loth-kitten blissfully unaware of everything and chasing dust particles that appeared in the light the came in from the window. Perhaps the only thing that kept her sane in here. A little unjudging furball.

* * *

"Your uncle is here." Leia informed and Ben slowly lifted his head, glanced up at her from where he sat with his back to the door. His body ached from sitting here for so long, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to leave.

Now his body popped and groaned in protest as he forced himself up. He had to meet with Luke and he had to fulfill his duty as a Jedi... like it or not he had a responsibility to attend to. He hade to make the galaxy safe for her.

"Rey..." He began softly, leaning into the door. "Luke has a mission for me... I have to leave... I want you to join me... but it can't wait. I have to go now."

There was only a silence from the other end and he sighed heavily. At least he knew that his mother would be remaining here with Rey for him while his duty as a Jedi called him to some far away planet.

The walk outside felt unreal. Like he wasn't awake anymore... or that he was trapped in some horrible nightmare world that he was going to wake up from any minute now. Except... he wasn't waking up. The nightmare went on and on.

As he approached the ramp and saw Luke waiting there for him he watched his uncle smile, although that smile didn't seem to last too long.

"Where's Rey?"

"I don't know if she's coming." He felt he needed to be honest with his uncle... he would find out if he went in there. "I told her the truth."

"I see." Luke nodded. "I believe... she would have found out eventually. Maybe... we all should have been more honest from the start. We're both to blame for this. We'll give it some time."

So the waiting game began. Luke much more patiently than himself. All he could do was stand at the edge of the ramp and pace back and forth. Waiting for her to come to her senses... not wanting to part ways from her. He hadn't been so far from her since before he found her... and he dreaded being that far again.

Yet time went on and she still didn't arrive. Luke placed a hand at his shoulder. A silent message that it was time.

"Please... just... five more minutes Uncle Luke..." Ben pleaded despite how much he hated begging his uncle.

"Alright, Ben... five more minutes." Luke's voice for the first time was gentle and understanding of his nephew. "But no longer. We can't lose a shot at Palpatine waiting on her."

* * *

Rey paced back and forth in her room. She had heard what he said. That he had a mission and he was leaving, but she couldn't be sure of it. After all this certainly wouldn't be the first time that he had lied to her.

His presence didn't return though. It got further away and pretty soon she realized he wasn't lying to her. He must really be serious about a mission.

She didn't want to see his face again. Not after everything, but... she'd spent most of her life with Ben. She was so used to him... she didn't know if she could stand the idea of being this far from him for however long he might be gone no matter how angry she was. They were still bound together by soul... and it only made things that much more complicated.

No. She wasn't going. She wouldn't go. She wouldn't give in... she wouldn't...

Until she panicked at the idea of being without him.... this had been the push that she needed. Thinking about her life without him... she didn't want it. She grabbed her bag and scooped up the little loth-kitten in her arms and hurried out the door. She had to go with them... she was still Ben's padawan and despite being a Palpatine... despite being the spawn of a Sith she was going to be a Jedi one day... she would show them all. It didn't matter where you came from. You could be whoever you wanted.

Moving past the door to the outside she arrived just in time... to see the ship lifting off and leaving her behind. The only comfort that she had was Leia approaching her from behind and placing a hand at her shoulder.

  
It was like another moment from long ago. She was watching as she was left behind. Watching another ship disappear far beyond her reach. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It was good until it was bad. I wonder if anyone will get the reference with the Orbak's name or not...
> 
> The first arc has finally ended and the next chapter will be a time skip. Provided we get to a second arc. The US congress -the mud slinging monkeys they all are- have placed a new copyright law into the anorexic covid relief bill. You can read about it here. https://twitter.com/OTW_News/status/1341894975483740165 I do not know what this means for the future of fanfiction.
> 
> A lot of people have asked for the ages. I posted them a few chapters back and unless I update them in the author's notes they haven't changed. Next chapter they will be the same age they all are in TFA.


	14. Chapter 14

For four years they scoured the galaxy for any traces of Palpatine. The trips led them from end to the other. Nothing. Not a trace. It felt as if it had been a wasted journey to have come up so empty... it often led to wondering if someone wasn't playing one big joke on them and laughing at them for falling for it.  
  
Regardless of the truth of the matter... Luke had called him back to the academy for an important occasion. Rey was ready to undertake the task of gathering her kyber crystal... and because he was still her master it was his duty to take her and see to it that she passed her tests.  
  
While he returned others would take his place in the search. It didn't feel like enough really... he knew that he'd given it his all, but somehow that didn't feel like it was his best... as if perhaps he could have done more.  
  
As the ramp lowered he was greeted by a face that truly surprised him.  
  
"Hey, little starfighter." Lando's familiar warm embrace came soon after the greeting and after a moment he felt a smile take over his own, tired face. It had been too long since he saw Lando.  
  
"Uncle Lando... how are things?"   
  
"Things couldn't be better." Although as Lando pulled back and looked him over he came to a conclusion. "I suppose _'little'_ doesn't quite fit the mold anymore does it?"  
  
"Where's Rey?"  
  
"Training with your mother. They'll be returning shortly."   
  
"Ah." He took a moment to try to get his nerves under control. "I don't imagine she wants to see me."  
  
After they had been forced to leave her behind Rey had refused to speak with him or answer any of his calls... and his mother had decided to remain on Naboo with Rey to train her personally. It was her attempt to make up for her failures with him as a child... and he did appreciate that his mother was watching over Rey in his absence. To keep her safe from Palpatine.  
  
Lando gestured for him to come along. He felt hesitant, nervous... a million other things. The idea of seeing her again after so long was eating away at him.  
  
As they stepped into the lakeside estate Lando poured him a drink. He knew he needed one after the long journey that he'd made... little did Lando know it wasn't his first drink today and it certainly wouldn't be his last.  
  
Several long minutes passed before his mother finally stepped through the door and right after her... a young woman dressed in white... just like the woman from his dreams. He choked on his drink and Lando was there in an instant, patting his back.  
  
"You okay there, starfighter? Too strong for you?"  
  
"No-..." Shaking his head he tried to get his voice under control, throat aching with something so strong as alcohol going down the wrong pipe. "That's Rey...?"  
  
"Hmm?" Lando glanced over at the girls and then back to Ben before understanding slowly took over his expression. "Oh. She's turned into quite the beautiful young lady hasn't she?"  
  
"No!" Ben quickly straightened up. Felt it would be inappropriate to say that... even if it was very, very true. "I just... didn't recognize her... different hair and all..."  
  
His little choking incident had caught their attention of course. Leia was making her way over, but Rey didn't seem anywhere near interested in coming to speak with him. Not until Leia waved for her to come over... forced her really. Gave her that stern mom look he remembered from childhood.  
  
At least Rey had finally gotten the mother that neither of them had ever really had.  
  
"Ben Solo what is that on your lip? A caterpillar?" Leia tsk'd.   
  
"What's wrong with a mustache?" Lando suddenly asked, placing a hand as his chest as if personally affronted. "I personally think the goatee looks very distinguished."  
  
"I didn't have time to shave..." Ben rubbed a hand along the scruff on his chin and upper lip, knowing that he had to look like he was attempting something like Luke or his father had in the days when he was younger.   
  
It really wasn't something that he had done on purpose. He just tended to get so caught up in his work that he hadn't gotten around to keeping shaved. Whatever the case this led into an argument about facial hair between his mother and Lando... the two slowly wandering off to discuss it further...  
  
Which... in turn... left him standing here alone with Rey.   
  
Taking a deep breath he kept his gaze off to the side where they had disappeared to for as long as he could. He didn't know that he could bare looking at Rey. He didn't want to see how much she hated him.  
  
The tension was only growing however and they did have a journey to make. So finally he glanced at her nervously, tried to think of what to say.   
  
"You changed your hair." It was stupid and he knew that it was, but that was the first thing that had come out. Lowing his gaze he nervously folded his hands together, picked at some dirt that lingered under his nails.  
  
"You've got grey." She decided to go with what was probably an insult, referring to the little bits of grey in the corners of his beard on either side of his chin.  
The funny thing was... insult or not the only thing he could think of was how much he missed her accent. Even if it hit a little differently now.  
  
"I know." Though he did carefully brush his fingertips along one side of his beard, as if he could feel what she referred to. He knew there were flecks of stress in his beard. He knew what a toll all of this had taken on his body. It wasn't so much the stress of being in charge of a temple in a busy city... of trying to find Ren and Palpatine... it was being without the other half of his soul.  
  
In fact right now it was taking everything inside of him to hold himself back from just taking her into his arms and holding her again. He couldn't even begin to describe how badly he wanted to hold her... no words would ever be enough.  
  
"Let's just get this over with. I'll get my things." Rey's tone started off well enough, before she finished speaking at least. "Wouldn't want you to get impatient and go without me."  
  
He grimaced. Though he knew that there was no point in arguing. That wouldn't make this situation any better.   
  
After all... he was the Master and it was his job to handle her bad attitude towards him in a mature manner. Responding with some pathetic excuse would not be anywhere close to the right thing. It wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't make it better... and it would make her feel she needed to retaliate further.  
  
"I plan to spend a night in a real bed. We'll leave tomorrow." He answered as calmly as possible, but couldn't help feeling that her comment took all the wind from his sails so to speak.  
  
"Hurry up you two. Dinner's waiting." Lando's voice called out from the other room, prompting him to use this as his excuse to escape any further barbs that she wanted to dig into him.  
  
However the shock of his life came when he stepped into the kitchen just in time to catch his mother quickly escaping Lando's arms just as they came through. It took a moment to process it... but Rey didn't react in any way whatsoever. She must have already known.   
  
It was odd. Odd to see his mother with someone other than his father. He didn't want his parents back together. He felt she deserved better than Han... yet it still felt so strange to see her with someone else.  
  
Taking his seat next to Lando he gave him a brief side glance. At least he knew that Lando would treat her like the Princess she was. More than that he'd serve her like a queen. That was just the kind of man Lando was. He had that swagger that spoke volumes... knew how to treat a woman a thousand times better than Han... how could his mother not fall for a man like him?  
  
"I heard your search hasn't turned anything up." Leia broke the silence first. "Do you think he's really still alive? Or could this be another tactic?"  
  
"I don't know." Ben sighed. "I don't... know how he couldn't be dead... how grandfather could have possibly failed... but... the Knights of Ren are working for someone."  
  
The droids rolled up with plates for them and began to serve their meals. It was for the best. He didn't want to talk about any of that. Had been thinking about a good meal all day... except... he didn't pay much attention to the meal. Instead his attention was caught up in Rey and the way the setting sun filtered in through the windows, bathing her in light. It brought him back to his dreams... how could he not have known that woman was Rey?  
  
Even now as hard as he tried he couldn't keep his mind from wandering to places he didn't want it to. The sun highlighted her hair... framed her face perfectly... he thought she would make a beautiful sketch.  
  
Suddenly he felt Lando's boot nudge his... and it snapped him out of whatever trance he'd been in.   
  
He worried that if Lando had noticed that perhaps Rey or his mother had noticed... but then again this was food and it was Rey. She had spent too long starving to pay attention to anything else during an enjoyable meal... like she was afraid it would disappear even after all these years. Some habits never died.  
  
In the same way that he had to fight off that habit of wanting to scoop food from his plate onto hers and be sure that she had enough to eat. That she had enough to catch up on all the meals that she had missed.  
  
"Well... whatever the case... Rey... we had a little something special prepared for you now that you'll be taking your first steps towards becoming a full fledged Jedi." Lando waved the droids over. They had an entire cake. It seemed to have shocked Rey... but thrilled her at the same time.  
  
And Ben bit back a smile. For various reasons. He was glad that Rey was being given all of this, yet at the same time he was frustrated... irritated even... that his family had never done any such thing for him. He wasn't jealous of Rey of course. That was impossible... he only ever wanted the best for her.   
  
Though he did suspect his mother was really trying to make up for what she had missed out on with him.  
  
He decided it was best that he didn't foul the mood with the way he was feeling. After all Rey didn't want him here.  
  
"I think I'll call it a night. I haven't been sleeping well traveling the way I have been. I'll see you all in the morning." All that he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep the hurt away... deaden himself to the galaxy just for a little while.  
  


* * *

  
Early morning brought only a headache with it. Sleeping last night had proved just as difficult as it had been while traveling... so he had a few drinks... as he had been every night. It put him to sleep, but the morning headaches really hit hard.  
  
Pulling on his robes over his shoulders he left the front open and slowly stepped out onto the balcony. The fresh, clean air coming in off the lake that hit him felt amazing... especially after he'd spent months on a ship with only recycled air in his lungs. Stepping up to the stone rail he braced his hands on it and glanced out over the lake. It was a shame that he couldn't enjoy this place properly. He could only think about his stress and his worry... shoving all that down should have been easy here. It wasn't.  
  
A sound caught his attention though. The familiar hum of sabers. Pulling his robes together and tying them he tried to straighten up and make himself look presentable... and not like he had been drinking last night to fall asleep.  
  
Approaching he noted his mother and Rey in a sparring session. It was an easy going session... nothing too intense... just hints and tips here and there.   
  
That all stopped when they both noticed his arrival.  
  
"Ben, I'm glad you're here. You're young enough to keep up with Rey... why don't you take her through a round?" Leia suggested, deactivated and tossed her practice saber to him before he could protest.  
  
Not a good idea. He knew that it wasn't, but again he was her master and it was his job to be sparring with her and teaching her how to survive a duel. Still there was a hesitant expression on his face as he eyed Rey wearily. He didn't want to do this at all... it felt like a bad idea.

Both drew up their practice sabers in their own personalized stances. The dull yellow practice sabers were designed to only give a shock. Though that shock was painful in it's own regards and it wasn't the kind you wanted to be on the receiving end of.  
  
The match started intensely thanks to all the underlying rage within Rey towards him, sabers clashing with all the force that she could muster. Ben was aggressive and powerful in his fighting. Twice her size... anyone else wouldn't stand much of a chance, but... Rey... well... Rey was nimble enough to get away before he could do much with it.   
  
Her speed was excellent, but one too many times she turned her back on him to get away. A big mistake... one he didn't press even though he had plenty of chances. Her plan seemed to be to make him exert himself. Good, but at the same time she brought herself too close to the edge of the safety mats. As her master he couldn't just take advantage of her mistake. He needed to call it out. Let her learn from it.

"Stop turning your back on me..." He warned as he backed her up further. "If it were a real fight I'd have cut you down when you turned away and been done with it."

"If this were a real fight you'd be on the ground bleeding." She shot back, spitting the words like venom. Their blades clashed with another spark and Ben made a hard push to the edge of the mats because he knew if he could push her out of bounds he would be the winner without being forced to draw this out too long... and it couldn't be drawn out too long. It was volatile on her end... she wanted to make him hurt.

Rey however would have none of it, though she struggled with him practically straddling her she managed to step aside and he almost fell out himself, but caught himself and turned to defend himself, but her practice blade nicked him and gave him a painful jolt. That only spurred him on. Made him more aggressive. Let his pain fuel him. That was his mistake.  
  
Rey struck him in the leg, the practice blade numbed it so badly he could hardly stand. He lashed out not un-similar to a wounded animal desperately trying to protect itself, but it cost him another jab to the left shoulder. The next strike he raised his blade to defend himself and Rey did the unexpected... no saber trick... just kicked him straight in the stomach which sent him right back down.  
  
The blow stole the wind from him. Left him gasping for breath. This wasn't working. He needed a new tactic.

He glanced up at her from his spot on the ground and licked his lips briefly before he forced himself up and rushed her to grab a hold of her wrist and keep her saber at bay and somehow or another they ended up closely pressed against one another. She struggled against him, tried to squirm her way out of it.  
  
The problem with this was his side was still sore from a training session with Chewie... and she must have sensed it, because she managed to turn him in the opposite direction, bent him sideways and put pressure on that wound.

It hurt too badly... he was losing strength... and that was her chance. She used his strength against him and drew her hand down along with his to strike his own saber from his hand and knock him back with a quick strike to the face.  
  
The blow connected right with his old scar tissue. Though it was a practice saber that scar tissue had always been sensitive... it still hurt from time to time and always would... and a blow to his face like that... he stayed down... he didn't get up.  
  
As Rey stood there, breathing hard and probably celebrating her victory and revenge against him... there was a creeping voice that passed within her mind... something that he caught only a whisper of.  
  
 _'Kill him'_ An old... familiar voice from his childhood. Something he thought he would never hear again... or had he imagined it?  
  
Closing his eyes he dropped back and leaned his face into his arm. It really did hurt. He was trying not to show it. Tried to hide it, but... something changed in her expression when she realized that she really had hurt him. Maybe regret to some degree. He couldn't be sure at this point.  
  
"Are you alright, Ben?" His mother's voice came to him through the haze of pain and he peeked up at her from his arm.  
  
"Fine." Taking a couple more breaths to steady himself he began to force himself up onto his feed and then made sure that he composed himself the way that a Jedi should. "We should be going. There's no time to delay."  
  
As he approached the ship he mused that her temper was worse than perhaps even his had been at her age. Something that truly surprised him, but... he knew that behind it there was a lot of hurt. Anger was a tricky emotion... a lot of times it was a shield for pain. In this circumstance he suspected that to be the case... if she needed to vent that anger... he would take it.  
  
He could take it for her. Whatever she needed of him. After all he was well aware that he had a lot to make up for... and he new what it was like to have the shield of anger up to protect the ache inside.  
  
Boarding The Grimtaash he tried to keep composed while he made his way into the cockpit... it wasn't long before Rey had entered behind him. There was a hesitance to her walk... he suspected that she must regret taking her anger out on him... but couldn't yet find it in herself to apologize him.  
  
A little droid dropped down from a compartment, beeping happily at his return, leaving him to offer a half smile in response.  
  
"Who's that?" Rey asked quietly.  
  
"BD-1. I came across him in my travels. He's an explorer droid. Has quite the store of knowledge." He explained, though he did glance at her for a moment and nodded towards her bag. "You shouldn't have brought him... you know how cold it gets."   
  
"Kylo will be just fine." She responded, opening the bag to give the hidden loth-cat some air.  
  
He raised a brow at her choice in name, but said nothing while BeeDee made an 'oooo' sound and both little Kylo and the droid seemed to hop out to meet and inspect one another. At least they would be entertained for the length of the journey.  
  
"Where did you come up with a name like that?" It maybe wasn't such a good idea to ask her questions... still he was curious... and well... curiosity killed the loth-cat.  
  
"It's a mix of your name. Skywalker Solo. He reminds me of you."   
  
"Of me?"  
  
"Spoiled, thinks he's too good for everything, demands affection... and throws a fit by breaking things if he doesn't get it."   
  
"Mm." It was amusing he supposed as he flipped a few switches to check to make sure all the flaps were working just fine before starting the engines and lifting off. "If you want to rest... now is the time. It's going to be a long flight."  
  


* * *

  
The bumpy break of atmosphere woke him. He jerked up in his seat, noted that Rey had already taken care of landing for them, setting down easily. Of course... he had always known that she would be good at flying... she hadn't needed his help at all.  
  
"We're here." Rey announced once she noticed that he was awake.  
  
"You did very well." He complimented, noting a storm outside. It must have been tricky and yet she did it perfectly.   
  
Instead of answering she looked away from him as he began to sit up and he breathed in to try to keep his composure. It was as painful as ever to have her treating him this way... even more so now when he had been away from her for so long and all he wanted was her affection again.  
  
Standing he slowly stretched himself out and then began to make his way to the back. If he was going to do this... he was going to need a drink... and something strong.  
  
Lately he'd taken to keeping a good stock aboard. It was with practiced ease he pour himself a glass to quickly down before it could be noticed, stuffed the bottle into his bag and closed it up before Rey came in from the cockpit.  
  
"Maybe we should have a warm meal before we-"  
  
"I don't need it." She insisted right away.  
  
"Oh." He nervously scratched at a spot on his scruffy chin. She must really be fed up with him if she was turning food down. That just... didn't happen. "Are you sure? This is going to be a hard journey in freezing weather."  
  
"I said no."  
  
"I know you're not used to the cold, but it's good to pack in some extra food so you can keep warm-"  
  
"Would you stop scratching at that thing like you have fleas." Her irritation with him only grew and enough for her to reach the point of focusing on minor things that she could pick at and attack him over.  
  
For a moment he considered his options. Only one came to mind and that was for him to head into the small 'fresher to take a look at himself. It was an excuse to give her time to calm down... he'd meant to shave anyway.  
  
Though he did think that it made him look more distinctive... as Lando had said. Yet both his mother and Rey complained about it. He was torn for a moment. Longer than a moment... must have taken too long, because Rey appeared in the mirror, arms crossed.  
  
He made the point then to dig out the kit, opened it up for the cream to smooth over his face and then reached for the blade... only to find it gone. He glanced back to find Rey had grabbed it... and worse she still looked irritated with him.  
  
"Unless you think it's a good idea to have a blade against your throat after drinking you should let me do it." There was the outward anger, but he did detect disappointment and... maybe concern under that.  
  
He lowered his head for a moment. He wished that she hadn't realized... but of course there was no hiding anything from her. Not with the bond. It was hard to keep things from passing between them. Now though he wearily eyed the blade in her hands, but nodded once, briefly to let her know that he was willing to trust that she wasn't angry enough with him that she was going to cut him ear to ear and be done with him... or.... so he hoped.  
  
Stepping into the small space with him made him a bit nervous and he resisted the nervous habit of scratching. He leaned back against the little counter as she brought the blade closer, eyed it and waited to see where this was going.  
  
There was a moment that she passed over the little grey patch at the corner of his chin with her thumb, clearly in thought. It felt nice... as much as he was well aware that he was in danger.  
  
"Are you trying to look like Luke?" She asked, pressing a finger to his chin and forced his head back to expose his throat. He swallowed nervously, clearly visible to her. Enough to make her roll her eyes.  
  
"I couldn't grow a full beard if I tried..." He couldn't grow much of a beard, but he thought that what he could grow looked decent enough. The women in his life didn't seem to think the same unfortunately.   
  
The blade was against his throat and his hands tightened on the edge of the counter, held on the entire time it slid against his chin, so dangerously close to death.  
  
The first line went off without a hitch. Not so much as a nick. He couldn't say he would have done better. He started to relax as she made the next line through the cream, clearing the scruff away as she went. Again... though she had the motive and position she didn't hurt him.  
  
Her hand turned his face and he closed his eyes, exhaled in relief to have her touching him again. Even if it was something as simple as fingertips lingering only long enough to angle his face the way that she wanted.  
  
It was nice. Relaxing. To have her touch again felt like he had that part of him that he had been missing so badly. The one that led him to drink on the coldest, loneliest of nights... it was unfortunately over sooner than he would have liked.  
  
Maybe death was worth it if she would just touch him a little more... he could probably die happy if she did.  
  
A moment passed and he felt the brush of her fingertips over his scar, along his cheek as feather light as a person could be.  
  
"Does it still hurt?" There it was. The guilt. She must still feel guilty for hurting him before... that was her reasoning for offering to help. It made sense now. A small apology that she couldn't give in words, rather in actions. "Even after all these years?"  
  
"Sometimes." For only a moment he thought of saying that it didn't, but he had learned his lesson in lying to her just so that she would feel better. Even if the truth might hurt... it was better to tell it than to live a lie.  
  
It took everything in him not to take her hand and press it fully against his face, beg her to touch or hold him. He would take anything. Anything at all... the small touched weren't enough. He wanted to hold her. He needed to.  
  
Things were so different now though. They had been apart... he hadn't seen her in years and... she was... well... Rey was very much grown up... pretty... and maybe it was the small space in here or that drink he downed earlier, but he impulsively placed a hand over hers at his face so she touched his face fully, leaned in closer to her... so close his nose brushed hers...  
  
At least until Rey jerked her hand from under his, away from him... stepping back and out of the small space, leaving him alone.   
  
It took several moments for him to try to process what had happened. Both from his prospective and hers. He didn't really know what he was doing. All he knew was that he desperately wanted to be close to her again.  
  
Quickly turning back to face the mirror he braced his hands on it and stared at himself in it... what was he doing? He quickly flipped a switch and gathered a handful of cool water to splash onto his face... to try to clear his head a little.  
  
He stared at himself for a moment longer in the mirror. _'Get ahold of yourself, Solo'_   
  


* * *

  
Rey stormed out of the ship, down the ramp with the intention of finding the temple entrance on her own. She didn't need Ben. She was going to do this on her own like she'd had to do everything else in her life.  
  
Except... once she was out so was her plan. She didn't recognize this place at all... she didn't see the wall of ice anywhere nearby. This place he had marked for landing on the map was not the place that they had been before. She almost wondered if this was some kind of trick.  
  
Hearing him stepping down the ramp after her let her know this was her chance to figure that out.  
  
"Where are we? This isn't where Luke took us."  
  
"I'm not Luke." He answered. "I brought you further from the temple to challenge you, because I believe in your abilities to accomplish the test at a more advanced level."  
  
Rey huffed. She had intended to go ahead to do this on her own, but it would seem that he had prevented that. Maybe already had it in place because he knew her well enough that he knew she'd attempt to do this on her own if she could.  
  
Scanning the area she did her best to figure out which way to go on her own. On the right hand side of the ship was a forest... she didn't recall trees... so she knew that the open field of white on the left hand side must be the way.  
  
So she started in that direction promptly.  
  
"Rey." His voice came out in warning.  
  
"I don't need your help. I can do this on my own." She insisted.  
  
"Rey! Don't go that way." His tone was even more insistent.  
  
Choosing to ignore him she continued forward... at least until a loud crack was heard underfoot... one that echoed across the empty expanse. There wasn't time to process what was happening before the ice broke under her and she slipped down into the dark, freezing water below.  
  
It was so cold it felt like blades cutting into flesh... and she only sank further into the darkness... it was the last thing she was aware of... darkness... sinking further and further into painful, bitter cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It begins. :Insert flaming elmo gif here: Ben returns to take Rey for her trial. Kylo makes an appearance in a strange way... and my absolute favorite droid BD-1 takes up residence.
> 
> Ages  
> Born 2 ABY: Poe age 32  
> Born 5 ABY: Ben age 28  
> Born 6 ABY: Paige age 27  
> Born 11 ABY: Finn/Rose age 22  
> Born 13 ABY: Kaydel Ko Connix/Jannah age 20  
> Born 15 ABY: Rey age 18


	15. Chapter 15

Breaking ice. Freezing cold. Darkness. It was still fresh in her mind when she woke... not under water... but warm. Several moments passed until she realized that she was back on the ship... under heavy blankets with a warm wall behind her that prevented her from moving anywhere.

Or... she tested moving a bit... that was no wall. What was worse... if this situation could get worse... was that she realized that there seemed to be a real lack of clothing between her and the not wall... and more... that was absolutely Ben Solo's hand curled around her chest.

Inhaling she brought her elbow back into his stomach, heard him grunt and jolt awake. 

"What? What?" There was panic in his voice, not sure of where he was or what was going on... until it clicked where he was. What had happened... and exactly where his hand was if the way he pulled away as if he'd touched fire was anything to go by. "I.... I'm sorry... I didn't... I didn't know I was... it had to have been in my sleep."

"Why are we both undressed?" Her voice rose in pitch and she tried to get a bit further from him.

"You were going to freeze to death if I didn't warm you up. You know the rules. You were taught how to survive freezing temperatures the same as I was." His voice lowered. "I didn't... look or touch more than I needed to."

"Come off it. I know you don't need to be naked to share body heat. I know that you can wear your basics and it's just as good." She snipped in return.

"Ideally, yes. If you hadn't gone and gotten all your clothing soaking wet... and mine when I had to go in after you." Up until now he hadn't lost his temper... now the irritation was slowly growing in him. She could feel it.

"ME? Well maybe you should have just taken us on Luke's path!" She only dug in deeper, refusing to budge stubbornly.

"And maybe you should have listened to me when I told you not to go that way!" His voice rose right along with hers. "Like it or not, Rey... you're still my padawan... and from now on you listen to me. When I say something it's because I'm trying to keep you from getting hurt not because I'm having fun ordering you around."

Sitting up she did her best to keep herself as covered up as possible. Even if he'd already seen everything. Though he made a point to bury his face in the pillow along the back of the bunk.

"Where are my clothes?" She wanted to get up, get dressed and get moving. The sooner this was done the better.

"Drying..." He groaned into the pillow. "Come back... it's cold."

She made a face and did her best to ignore him, but the longer that she sat here trying to be stubborn and keep away from him the more she realized... it really was cold. Taking a look back at him she considered it... and right now... they really did need the warmth. 

Grudgingly she laid back down next to him and inched in closer. For the sake of warmth alone. The cold had won. She couldn't stand it much longer... she needed to warm up. It had sapped away all her strength. She needed time to rest.

Lying there silently she watched him. Just watched him. At no point did he move and she almost thought that maybe he was asleep. 

"Ben..." She began carefully.

"Mmm?"

"You can come back." Again. Just because it was cold. That was all. They needed to share warmth. Nothing more to it.

Although for a moment he didn't move. Just stayed where he was... made her wonder if he wouldn't... until he did finally turn into her and drape an arm over her. Of course he wouldn't deny the request. It was far too cold.

That same cold must have stolen all his strength in the same way that it had taken hers. He looked exhausted. Like he could hardly find it in him to move. That explained why it took him so long to come closer. He physically couldn't. 

Now more than ever she realized that what she had done had been dangerous. Maybe it would be a good idea not to question him during this journey... he clearly knew this planet better than she did.

Things were silent for awhile. It felt strange to be this close to him again... even if she knew to him the need to be close to her was more akin to a physical ache. Maybe she would had felt the same if she wasn't so upset with him after all that had transpired between them.

"Can you try to hate me a little less?" He requested, so quietly she almost thought she didn't hear it right. Hate. It was a strong word. She was hurt. She was angry, but... she didn't think that she could hate him. Not for long anyway.

Instead of answering she turned around so that her back was to him. She couldn't face him with an answer right now. There were too many swirling emotions... sleep came easier than dealing with those feelings.

* * *

The next time she woke was to the motion of him carefully moving out of bed and over to a drawer, turning onto her side to face him she wrapped her arms around her pillow and leaned into it while she watched him. Normally she'd have looked away to give him privacy, but he'd undressed her. Saw everything. Fair was fair, right?

There was no mistaking that Ben Solo had the best body of any man that she'd ever seen... being angry wasn't going to change that. While she'd never understood before the girls that talked about a man with a nice backside... she thought that she understood it now.

"Not shy about flaunting around?" She asked, alerting him to the fact that she was very much awake.

Except he didn't at all react the way that she thought that he might. He only glanced over his shoulder at her, instead of rushing to get his clothes on in a panic he just casually stepped into a pair of loose pants.

"No." He only turned around once he'd tied them, but these particular ones didn't exactly leave much to the imagination.

"Why?"

"Mm." He gave a little one shouldered shrug. "I saw you. Fair is fair, right?"

She scrunched her nose up in response. Right. He knew she was awake. Definitely caught her train of thought... and oddly enough didn't really seem to mind her looking. He only watched her for a moment or two before he grabbed a shirt to pull on.

He left it open in the front though as he gathered her clothes, pressed his hands into them to make sure that they were fully dry before slowly making his way over to sit down on the bed next to her and offer them up to her.

"Thank you..." She knew that she had to get a handle on her temper. Be appreciative. He had been very patient with her all things considered.

"I'm sorry that I had to undress you, but you would have died otherwise."

"I know." It wasn't something she thought he should apologize for, because she did know deep down that they would have died if he hadn't done what he had. "Why did you bring us all the way out here? Why not take Luke's path?"

"That's... because this is more of a challenge. It will look better when you're ready to become a Jedi." He explained. "Tekka knows you're a Palpatine and he's someone that helps Luke decide who's ready and who isn't."

"Has everyone known?"

"Just a handful... Luke... my mother..." He trailed off, most likely because he had known for some time. Kept that from her despite knowing what it felt like to be lied to about family that way. It had been the straw that broke the bantha's back. 

"You..."

"And me..." 

"Why did you keep it from me? Why when you knew what it felt like?" It was something that she'd never had the chance to ask him... now she knew that she had to. She had to know the full truth.

"Exactly because I knew what it felt like. I didn't want to put you through that." He sighed. "I found out that day at the tomb. When you recognized that Sith writing, but at that time you were too young to even understand what it meant to be a Palpatine."

"I would have understood." She insisted. 

"Perhaps, but what purpose would it have served? You were waiting for your parents... I couldn't... crush you by telling you they weren't coming. That they sold you. That your grandfather was a sith. It was too much, Rey." 

"My grandfather... is he alive?" 

"There are rumors... and if he is... he's hiding very well."

"Ren said he was looking for me... he must be alive." Rey decided that he must be alive somehow or another. "He thought it would be my weakness. He thought I would run to the only family I had left. That was his mistake."

"Maybe Ren just wanted you on his side and would say whatever it took to get you there." He suggested quietly.

"But it makes sense... someone has been manipulating everything from the very start." It made the most sense to her that her grandfather must be alive.

"Or Ren sees your bloodline and the future Empress." 

"I don't..." It felt weird to hear him call her that. Even if it was a hypothetical. She really wasn't sure anymore, but Ren had seemed so serious about her grandfather. Who else could arrange everything with the knights?

Sighing she began to unfold her shirt, causing Ben to slowly turn around so that his back was to her. He was trying to give her the privacy that he'd had to take before when he'd needed to warm her up.

"You don't think so?" He asked quietly.

"I don't know." It was hard to be sure of anything. There were so many things that could be possible, but if not her grandfather then who?

"Mmm." Ben sighed and placed his elbows onto his legs to lean forward on them, hands folded between his knees as he tried to think through the implications.

"So you left me that day... and you didn't find him. Or even proof of him."

"We had to move on the information or lose it. We have the information."

"But not my grandfather."

"No..." He lowered his head, clearly waiting for some furious onslaught. She supposed that she shouldn't blame him. 

"You promised you would never leave me like they did. You broke your promise." Rey began carefully. "I don't hate you, but I also don't know how to forgive you for that."

Instead of answering he just slowly nodded. He didn't appear to have anything left to answer her with. After several long moments of silence he finally stood up and then he began to make his way to the door.

"I'll wait outside for you." 

* * *

Bundled up and warmed with a good meal they set out. This journey wasn't going to be an easy one... that much was clear. It was a good thing that she was always up for a challenge... she'd handled everything life had thrown at her so far. She could handle this too.

It was clear that Ben knew the way as he led her through the forest, past it and out into the open once more. There was a frozen wall, but not quite the one that she recognized. 

As Ben opened his pack and pulled some tools it was clear... they were meant to climb. He pulled out a harness and tossed it to her before grabbing his own and stepping into it... attaching it to one of the ropes there upon the ice.

These walls had been climbed before. She wondered by who... if Luke and Ben had gone up or if it was someone before them. Did this planet have inhabitants?

"I'll be right behind you." He assured her.

"You're not going first?"

"This is your journey. Not mine." 

"Have you done it before?"

"Yes. Make sure the ice is good before you strike."

Taking a breath she nodded. If Ben had made this then she could do it. Hooking up the harness to the rope she dug the ice pick in where she thought the ice seemed sturdy enough... she began the climb.

It wasn't easy. The storm picking up made it impossible to see the top. There was no way to know how far they had come... or how far they had to go. The only comfort she had was that this wasn't that different from what she learned on Jakku. She was taken right back to climbing through Star Destroyers.

"How far?" She had to shout over the roaring wind. It only got worse the higher they climbed.

"Not much!" He called back.

Nodding she continued to move. If it wasn't that far she could power through to the end... suddenly however, as she lifted her pick from the ice the rope went slack and the next thing that she knew she was falling... falling...

Until Ben grabbed her as she passed him, caught just in time with a loud pop, managed to get his pick into the ice just as the rope fell over his shoulder.

"Just hold tight..." He grimaced and took a look around, trying to scan the area. They both knew that they were in trouble. 

She held tightly to him, but she noticed that his grip wasn't there anymore... he wasn't holding onto her as he had a moment ago. 

"Ben?" She didn't know how to ask or what to ask. Something was wrong with him. He was hurt somehow. She could feel it.

"Just.... you just need to hold on. Don't let go." 

The pick in the ice cracked slightly and they slid lower with a jolt, leaving him hissing in pain and her feeling a sense of dread. This wasn't going to hold the both of them. She hurried to look around as well, trying to figure something out.

Maybe she could climb back up, take the pressure off him so that they didn't both fall, however... she realized she'd dropped her pick in the fall. It was gone.

Although just when it seemed there was no way out she noticed a ledge just below them. If she could manage to swing herself down onto that then she could help him. 

"There's a ledge."

"What?"

"Right there... I can make it."

"Just be careful." He took a breath. "Focus on the force. Trust it."

Nodding she prepared herself mentally. Just for a moment. Reminded herself that she had done this before. Made even larger jumps on Jakku. She could do this. 

As she swung her weight she let go, managed to fall the short distance and land right onto the ledge... it was further than she thought thanks to the snow blinding her to the real distance and she landed awkwardly... it shot pain up her leg, ankle twisting in a bad way, but there was no time to focus on her pain... Ben needed her help.

"I made it!" There was no answer and for just a minute she was afraid maybe the ice had given out on him, but then she noticed the frayed edge of rope lowered down. 

So he needed her to get the rope in here... attach it to something. As she brought it further into the cave like system she noticed a large pillar of stone. It was perfect. She gave it a sturdy kick, made sure it was strong enough before tying the rope. She made sure to give it a tug and let him know it was good to go.

Moving back to the entrance she waited impatiently. It took a long time... too long, but finally he appeared, using the system on the harness to loosen and tighten the rope to get himself down.

That arm was still hanging at his side in an odd way. She impulsively reached out to grab him by the harness to make absolute sure that he made it in alright, pulled him in close to herself... a moment passed like that. Just a small one... being so close to him... her face nearly in his chest.

Until she snapped herself out of it and stepped back. Now wasn't the time. He misunderstood.

"I'm sorry, Rey... those ropes were new. I swear they were. Luke and I-" He paused as he stared at the edge of the rope where she had tied it, slowly made his way over and kneeled next to it. "We're not alone here..."

He held the rope up... showed that the edge had clearly been cut clean through... or more like burned through. By a lightsaber. Of that there was no doubt.

Exhaling he slowly lowered himself into a sitting position. That arm still hadn't moved once and she moved to kneel in front of him. Reaching out she worked his jacket open, there was no way he was getting it open with one arm anyway.

"It's only dislocated. We'll put it back in and keep moving."

That pop before had been his shoulder not the ice. It had dislocated trying to catch her and the weight of her equipment in her pack at such a strange angle. 

"Who do you think is here?" She asked, but this question was a distraction as she positioned his arm. Just as he thought about it and made to answer she quickly pulled and slid his shoulder back into the socket, watched the initial pain fade to relief.

"I don't know..." Taking a moment to gather his thoughts he glanced behind him towards where the cave went deeper. "But I think you found a shortcut..."

"Are these...?"

"The caves... yes." Slowly standing up, using the pillar to brace himself he took the moment to lean against it. "Let's go find the heart of your saber. Lead the way."

Steadying herself she tried to keep her emotions in check. Not let them get out of hand... only glanced back at him once before she continued on, deeper into the caves in search of her crystal.

She had to take it extremely slowly to keep her steps even so as not to give away that she'd hurt herself when she made that landing. She didn't need him making a bigger deal out of it than needed.

Except as they went deeper she realized that... there was something odd about the caves. There was a type of construction mat all along this tunnel after a certain point. Had this been the work of Ben and Luke when they had been here?

"Have you been here before?"

"Not in this system..." Ben stepped forward and looked just as confused as she was, but all that they could do was keep moving further in. There was no going back the way that they had come.

"Then who...?" She wondered who had done all of this. Someone had been in here... digging around. 

"It must be left over from the Empire." 

"He really wanted to destroy everything the Jedi had didn't he?" She supposed that it made sense. They had been digging around here... destroying this beautiful planet. Trying to destroy perhaps the most important ritual to a Jedi... The Gathering.

Though she had to stop a moment. Her leg still hurt from that landing. Nothing was broken she knew that much, but she knew enough to know that it was twisted. She was no stranger to pain of course... this however... wasn't easy.

"Rey?" His concern was clear as he stepped up next to her.

"I guess the fall left us both a little worse for the wear." 

"Why didn't you say something?" He slowly approached her and took a knee, forcing her to lean against an icy wall and allow him to look. It hurt too much to shrug off... much as she wished that she could.

"I didn't want you to do... this."

"Too bad, kid." He used that old, familiar term of endearment and he felt her heart melt... as if it had been froze over with ice just the way this planet was. 

"It isn't that big a deal..."

"Mmhm." Ben tugged her boot off carefully and took a careful look, handling her gently before he pulled his pack out to dig around for his medkit. "I'm going to wrap it... we'll keep an eye on it."

"You don't need to..." She insisted as he began to slowly secure it with the wrap and then as carefully as he could replace her boot.

"You need to keep the weight off of it." He lowered himself down in front of her and once again it felt like old times.

"Are you serious?"

"It's a serious piggyback ride." 

Rolling her eyes she wanted to turn him down, but once she attempted to put weight on it the pain just returned... leading her to hesitantly start to give in, gently placing an arm over his shoulder. 

"What about your shoulder?" She began to ask, but he was already lifting her, hoisting her up over his back and moving forward, leaving her to quickly wrap her arms around him to keep herself up.

"Just a little sore. Not bad." 

It was hard being this close to him, returning to a time from the past... not to feel those old feelings again.

Sighing, she tightened her arms around him and leaned her face into his shoulder... just for now she would take this moment to consider how much she had missed him. He still smelled like clean laundry... somewhere under there she noted coffee. It made her smile just slightly... some things never changed.

"I missed you..." She admitted in a whisper and she felt the stumble in his steps... her words shocked him, but she felt how eager he was to lean into that. How badly he wanted to return to being affectionate with her.

It must be driving him utterly insane inside to want so badly to just hold her close the way that he used to... only to not be able to do so. That was Ben's weakness she mused. He needed touch. He needed that gentle affection with another person.

"I missed you too... so much." There was no hesitation in how quickly he answered back.

Rey lifted her head from his back to rest her chin on his shoulder, watched how he turned his face to the side slightly to glance back at her just for a moment.

"I'm still mad at you..." She didn't want him thinking that it was all over just because they could both admit that they missed one another.

"It's alright." He promised softly. "I think... I understand my parents a little better now. I tried to do my best with you... and I know that despite my intentions I made mistakes. That there were things that I could have done differently."

Those were words that she thought that she would never hear from him. That he actually understood his parents... if even a little bit. Looking back on it though she understood what he meant in her own way. She too wished that she had done things differently.

"I know I shouldn't have gone with Rose without telling you that night." It had been childish and reckless to go out when a man like Ren was hunting for her and it had been done to get back at Ben for sleeping with Paige. 

"You scared me. I thought... I thought he took you to the old man." 

"What would you have done if he had?" She asked quietly, dipping her fingers into the collar of his coat and tracing over his collar bone where his shoulder had been hurt. It was more to see how the injury felt than anything else, but he shivered in response to it. She found it odd... he'd never reacted like that to her touch before. He must be cold.

"I would have burned the entire galaxy down to find you." His tone was far less meek than it had been with her this entire journey... now it darkened to something bordering on dangerous. "Nothing would have stood in the way of finding you."

Maybe she did understand why Luke forbid romantic attachments... and why the galaxy feared a Skywalker in love. 

"That doesn't sound very Jedi like... Master Solo." The last part was more a taunt than anything else, but she felt him pause for a moment. Whatever he was thinking in that moment was locked behind a wall...she didn't know what crossed his mind... only knew that it was in response to what she had said.

Shifting her weight on his back he continued to walk forward. Something tilted the mood upset down completely. 

"Have you felt anything, yet?" His tone lowered again.

"Not yet." 

"Then we'll need to go deeper." Sighing heavily he moved even further down the tunnel, took time to look along the areas that had clearly been dug out by the empire.

It was a sad sight to see. Depressing almost. Such a beautiful place once and the empire had done so much damage to it. Beautiful murals carved into stone gone. All to create weapons that hurt people... destruction out of beauty.

"My grandfather really hated the Jedi didn't he?" She mused, lying her head sideways on his shoulder to view what was left of the carvings... not much... stories gone forever. Never to be told again. "Everything he's done... almost like he wanted to leave no trace that they ever existed in the first place. Converting the Jedi temple into his palace... destroying the archives... the caves stripped of their carvings and statues... it must have consumed him." 

"His hate burned so brightly it blinded him." 

"He would really hate me." It was a thought more than anything else and although she felt Ben wanted to say something... he exhaled slowly instead, letting the words disappear in a mist from between his lips. She supposed that he must not know really what was the right or wrong thing to say in regards to that.

After all... he knew first hand how complicated it was to have a grandfather that had committed atrocities across the galaxy, but at least Ben could say that his grandfather made the right choice in the end... and that there was still good inside of him. She couldn't say the same about hers.

As they made they way even deeper into the caves there was some sort of commotion from within... voices... that wasn't right. Nobody should be in these caves.

Slowly lowering her from his back he made sure that she was steady on her feet before he moved forward to investigate. 

If he thought that she was going to stay in that spot he was wrong. She ignored any tinges of pain and hurried to follow after him. This was her trial. If there were complications she had to face them.

As they approached the ledge they looked down to find some sort of mining operation going on... and dozens of men in red hauling boxes upon boxes down one of the tunnels. Like worker ants... back and forth.

"They look like stormtroopers... but that red armor..." She whispered and Ben nodded eyes scanning the area for a way to get a better look at what was going on here.

"I've done everything you've asked!" A voice shouted... and a familiar one at that. Turning their view to a speeder parked near a stack of boxes both recognized Brendol Sindian arguing with some red haired imperial looking officer.

She watched the way Ben's eyes lowered to the lightsaber on Sindian's belt. Still there from his time with Luke. She knew what crossed his mind... it crossed hers too... Sindian must have cut the rope.

"Minor tasks. Not the one you were sent to achieve." The officer responded, making to turn away from Sindian. "Skywalker is a Jedi... he didn't join The Knights... you didn't push him hard enough. You failed."

"I will be General!" Sindian responded like a child that hadn't gotten his way... even going so far as to stomp his foot. "You won't steal this from me!"

"I already have." The officer drew his blaster, turned on Sindian and fired a bolt into his chest. "Goodbye brother. Give my regards to father."

It was instant. Sindian's presence in the force was gone. This officer had killed him. Whoever this red haired man was. There was no smug 'you got what you deserved' from either Ben nor Rey... it was a brutal end. 

"Lieutenant Hux we have a new shipment." A trooper in silver armor approached that officer with a group of younglings behind her, red troopers with their blasters on them should they try to escape from the confines of their cage.

"Good. The Empire needs children." This officer -Hux- responded.

Inhaling sharply Rey made to move, because someone had to do something. Those children needed them, but Ben caught her by the sleeve and tugged her back. Prevented her from going.

"Ben, we have to do something." She hissed in a whisper.

"I know... and we will, but we can't impulsively rush into this. There are a lot more of them than us." He answered quietly.

"If we don't go now we could lose them."

"If we do we could lose our lives and then they have no chance at all. Stop. Breathe. Think it through..." Ben glanced around the corner and began to look around, thinking about the best option. "There... that fancy speeder must be the officer's... it would have a powerful comlink... and-Rey!" 

She was already off before he could finish speaking, making her way carefully and quietly down the ledge, despite the fact that she could feel Ben urging even through the force for her to stop and not do this.

As she moved forward down the small ledge she noted Ben went around the other side where a flanking maneuver might be possible. Resigned to this now that she had enacted it before he could do anything else.

Sliding down a little further she tried to think through the best way to get past all these troopers to save that group of children. No matter what Ben said she knew that if they didn't act soon they wouldn't be able to save them.

However the next slide broke some stone loose and it tumbled down over the edge, catching the attention of one of these red stormtroopers. Lifting his blaster the trooper slowly began to make his way towards her.

At that moment Ben made a decision of his own, stepped out and ignited his saber... it drew all the attention to him and away from her. 

"Everyone stop where you are. By Order of the Church of The Force and the New Jedi Order you're to be taken in to face justice." He spoke up, causing everyone to stop and look at him in shock.

"You and what army?" Hux sneered. 

"The one surrounding you." Ben's best Sabacc face was on, still the officer didn't seem convinced even if he did look around.

"You're bluffing, Skywalker."

"Am I? How can you be so sure?"

"This cave is empty save for my men."

"You're wrong... my companions are lying in wait for me to give the order to fire..." 

"LIES!"

As the two argued back and forth based on Ben's insane bluff Rey inched her way to the children locked inside the cart. All the stormtroopers were completely distracted by Ben. It was buying her time, but as she passed Sindian's body she gave pause.

No matter what else she was... Rey was still a scavenger at heart... and Sindian didn't need his lightsaber anymore. So she reached towards his belt to unhook it and bring it with her... this tool would serve her better. Maybe even save these children. 

"There's no else up here!" A stormtrooper called from the ledge they'd been on before and that was it... Ben's ruse was up. 

Another stormtooper in red rushed up behind Ben and smashed him over the back of the head with the butt of his blaster, effectively sending him to the ground. Rey grimaced and looked back at him, placed a hand at the saber she'd taken and made to move forward, but Ben lifted his head, gave a brief shake. 'No'. 

"Tell me how you discovered Starkiller base." Hux demanded as his stormtroopers cuffed Ben and sat him up on his knees. 

"Deathstar... Starkiller... is that really the best you could come up with? You're about as original as Raj Mrjbaraas." Ben's words only served to infuriate the officer and he back handed him across the face.

"Speak!"

"Has anyone ever told you that you hit like an old woman?"

Rey sighed and looked away. She knew that Ben was taking all that on for her, because he was trying to keep the officer angry enough that all his focus would only be on him. So that she could escape. That was the problem though... she couldn't just leave him.

She thought that if she could just get to the officer then she could use him as a hostage... it was more a matter of reaching him without any of his soldiers being able to react in time or stop her.

Taking a several deep breaths she rushed the red headed officer from behind, pressed Sindian's lightsaber to his back. All guns were on her then, but none made any attempt to fire. Not with an officer at risk.

"You're wrong. He's not alone." Rey informed, heard the officer snarl furiously. "Tell them to lower their weapons and release him."

"Do it!" Hux commanded, seeing no other option and fearing for his own precious life.

As the stormtrooper that hit him uncuffed him, Ben snatched his saber back from the man and slowly backed up towards Hux as well, taking over grabbing the man with an arm around his neck and his own saber to his throat.

"Rey, get the children... I've got him." 

"Just wait until the Emperor learns of this! He'll destroy the both of you in one cruel stroke." 

"Really? I hear he doesn't have a very good track record with Skywalkers." Ben quipped.

As Rey hurried towards the prison car with the children inside she began to push it down the track... down the tunnel where they were at least protected on either side... and Ben slowly followed behind her, hostage in arm.

"Are you saving us?" One of the children asked meekly from the back of the cart.

"That's right. We'll have you out of here before you know it. Just be brave a little longer." Rey encouraged them softly.

"Rey. The officer's side arm. Take it." Ben requested, causing her to turn towards them and remove the weapon from the holster at his hip. "That barrel there... at the end of the tunnel... do you see that? The red one. Hit it."

"No!" Hux cried out. "You're mad. You'll kill us all!"

Rey trusted Ben more than she trusted some warmonger. Taking a moment she took aim... did her best to steady the sway... to line the shot up. She pulled the trigger, watched the red bolt fly down the dark tunnel, lighting it's way as it went until it struck the barrel... the thing exploded into a ball of fire... the end of the tunnel caved in... effectively cutting them off from the stormtroopers.

That meant that for now they were safe. So Rey cut the lock from the prison cart and helped the children out one by one. They were sheepish, terrified little things. It pained her to think of how terribly they must miss their parents. She knew all about that.

"You have a hanger here?" Ben asked, though the general didn't seem eager to answer that question. "Your soldiers are nowhere to be seen... I don't need a hostage anymore..."

"This way..." Hux begrudgingly gave in, led them through a smaller tunnel to the left. It was clearly built up more than the rest of this place. It must led to a small base set up here.

"The control room. Not the hanger itself." 

"What if he leads us to more of his men?" Rey mentioned, keeping the children together as best as she could.

"Not if he values his life." Ben didn't seem to think that it was going to be a problem so she nodded and continued to follow, making sure nobody fell behind.

The control room wasn't much further... and fortunately there was nobody currently inside of it. Shoving the general inside and into a chair he allowed Rey to take over watching him while Ben moved over to the control panel. He up the comms and began searching through the channels... trying to find anyone nearby that wasn't with this Empire remnant. 

"Can anyone hear me? This is Jedi Knight Solo requesting aid." He began, glancing up towards the window to make sure all the troopers outside weren't registering what they were up to.

Some of the children gasped at hearing this while the others murmured amongst themselves... timid and afraid before the word Jedi seemed to light a flame inside of them. One grabbed Rey's sleeve and tugged, looking at her with stars in his little eyes. "You're Jedi?"

"That's right. And we're here to save you." Rey answered, taken back to another time when she had been told the same.

A dull clicking came through the comm and Ben quickly glanced down, hoping that whoever picked up their signal was able to help or to call for help.

"Ben? Is that you?" The garbled voice was static, but familiar.

"Dad?" Ben sighed and shook his head, hardly believing his luck. "I need you to contact Uncle Luke... the Empire is here on Ilum."

"Ilum? What are they doing out there?"

"Mining crystals..." He answered. 

"Mining... they're not stupid enough to make another Death Star are they?" A pause. "Never mind. Don't answer that. I'm nearby... set a beacon and stay put... I'm coming for you, kid."

Ben went about getting a strong signal for his father to track here to their exact location. It wasn't going to be easy to pull this off, but he felt pretty good about these odds. 

"How long do you think it will take him to arrive?" Rey asked.

"I don't know... I should have asked him his location-" Before Ben even finished speaking there was a rumble, a screeching engine and a crash right into the hanger down below.

The Falcon came skidding across the hanger, taking out fighters and troopers in it's path, the turret on top spinning to take out the soldiers further away, clearing it all out. Feeling that he had to help, Ben hurried towards the window, looked for what he could do... anything.

He held a gloved hand out, used the force to turn on one of the guns on a fighter, began to use their own turret against them. 

Rey might have been worried about Hux trying to make an escape during the confusion... if he wasn't standing there with his jaw gaping open as he looked at the insane pilot before them that had taken this entire hanger out in one sweep.

Once the smoke had settled, Han rushed down the ramp, blaster drawn and ready to fire for anyone that had survived the mad crash into the hanger. It seemed that there wasn't anyone left.

Ben waved to him from the window, signaling him and Chewie to get up here. It didn't take long for them to be reunited inside the control room. 

"That was an entrance." Ben crossed his arms over his chest, brow raised.

"You know me." Han gave a little shrug, but his eyes caught the officer and the children and he gestured towards them. "What's all this?"

"We discovered the Empire in possession of these children and made the decision to free them before we did anything else. The officer... I haven't decided what to do with him yet..."

"I have an idea... is there a trash compactor around?" Han asked.

* * *

With the officer Hux disposed of... and the children safely tucked away on the Falcon with Chewie they managed to come up with a plan. Han had explosives. Though he wasn't inclined to share why he had them or where he had gotten them from.

But that was beside the point. They had explosives... and that meant that they could destroy this base before it was turned into a weapon. Information given desperately by Hux before he'd been shoved down a tube that took him to the nearest garbage pit.

They split up to cover more ground and get out of this place faster. It was familiar to Rey in a strange way. Very similar to the inside of a Star Destroyer... that made it much easier for her to get around.

"How's your leg?" Ben asked quietly as he shifted along the wall and placed one of the sticky, timed explosives on a beam that would best collapse this area of construction. 

"The adrenaline helps." Rey knew that once that wore off it was going to hurt worse than ever with all the running around she was doing. 

"Not much further and then you can rest." Another beam and another explosive, although Ben did stop once they reached a certain area. There was a sort of... frozen, icy walkway... one that seemed to lead into the abyss.

"What is it?" This was a strange feeling that radiated off him. Something akin to fear.

"This is where I found my crystal... and faced my fear..." He took a look around, as if expecting it to reappear, whatever it was. "Let's keep moving."

"Wait." There was something. A spark here. A call. It drew her forward. So she went, obeyed the call of the Force. As she made it further, across the icy bridge... it collapsed and she turned to find herself separated from him. "What do I do?" 

She hadn't been afraid before, but she hadn't expected to get trapped here, separated from him and now she very much was.

"Answer the call." Ben responded, but otherwise stepped back. It wasn't his trial this time... it was hers.

Moving forward she approached a wall. In it she caught a reflection... and it drew her in even closer. The shadow of two moved forward... approached... and she eagerly reached out, placed her hand against it... but as the two came closer and the image cleared... she found only herself looking back at her.

Dropping down to her knees she felt despair. Here she was facing her biggest fear... trapped... with only herself to rely on. 

No... not true. She had Ben... she had Luke, Leia... Lando. She had a family waiting for her. Pushing past the despair and the fear she began to stand... until she noticed a glint, reached out for it and found it to be a crystal... hers. This was it. It had to be it.

"Ben I-" As she turned she found the bridge was there. It hadn't collapsed. It had been another trick of the caves. She made sure to carefully get back across the icy bridge to return to him with the news. "I have it."

"Good. Let's continue." In a hurry to get far from here Ben moved on and she made sure to keep pace with him, continuing to climb higher through the structure until they reached a sort of balcony... it seemed to lead outside. "We can get out through here."

Here they would wait for Han. It was the best place. For now, Rey turned her crystal over in her hand. It was amazing that she had found it despite all this... against all odds... and... even more strangely... the same place Ben found his.

"How many students find them in the same place?"

"None." Ben answered.

"Then why...?"

"You know why."

She glanced down at the crystal. Yes, she knew why. They shared the half of the same soul... they were very much a part of one another... so then this crystal... was it...? She held a hand out for his saber and he tilted his head for a moment, but did unclip it and hand it over.

Opening up his saber carefully she removed his purple crystal and her yellow, held them up against one another... the broken ends fit together perfectly. So it was true... two halves of the same soul... two halves of the same crystal.

Replacing his crystal with shaky hands she handed his saber back to him and then tucked her crystal away safely into her jacket. It was hard to believe... and she didn't think that she would have if she hadn't seen it with her own two eyes.

The only thing to interrupt her thoughts was the sight of Han hurrying down that icy bridge towards them.

Ben moved to the balcony to wave him up, though, something had him freezing in place... behind Han a red saber screeched to life... and before Han even had the chance to turn around there was a blade through his chest... directly through his heart.

Han's life force faded quickly. Extinguished like a candle. He was gone. Almost instant.

"No!" Ben screamed, watched his father fall forward, down into the abyss below and there behind where he had once stood... Ren. 

"Come down and play, Skywalker!" Ren called up to him. "Bring me the girl while you're at it."

Enraged, Ben placed a hand on the balcony, about to jump over it... about to face Ren down to avenge his father, but Rey grabbed his arm. 

"Ben, no!" She struggled with him, did her best to keep him from going. While Ben was too emotional right now to feel it she knew that this was a trap and if he went down to fight him he was going to fall right into it.

Except nothing she did was working and she couldn't keep holding him back... he was too strong... so she reached for the detonator in her bag and triggered it. Each bomb went off one by one, consuming the area in flame... collapsing metal and melting ice.

It was perhaps the only thing that stopped Ben, because he glanced down desperately, trying to see if Ren had been consumed by flame, before turning on Rey.

"Why did you do that?! I should have... I should have been the one to... I should have killed him!" He turned when he realized that he still felt Ren's life force. That he wasn't gone... but that his father's certainly was. It only made him more angry. "I need to... you have to let me go!"

"What about me?!" Rey shouted over the flames. "Are you going to hand me over to Ren?"

This seemed to be the only thing that managed to stop Ben from finding another way around to Ren. He shook his head slowly.

"I..." He looked for the words... couldn't find them... and finally dropped his head. "No..."

"It's a trap, Ben. Han wouldn't want you to fall into it." She placed her hands at his shoulders and urged him back with her, away from the balcony, away from the flames... and away from Ren's trap.

He never answered her... just kept moving. Kept following behind her. She didn't have time to be afraid that this had broken Ben. She only had the time to be afraid that they might not make it out before Ren realized that they weren't falling for his trap.

Moving across the snowy fields and into the thickest parts of the forest she knew that they weren't far from The Grimtaash. It was settled there where they had left it... all they had to do was make it there.

Fortunately as she hurried to lower the ramp, she noticed that everything was untouched. No prints in the snow... nobody had located their ship. They didn't know about it. Making her way up the ramp and ensuring Ben slowly did the same she closed it, went directly to the pilot's seat.

She knew that Ben wasn't in any mental shape to fly... or do much of anything... in fact he very much seemed galaxies away inside of his own head.

Pressing down on the comm she contacted Chewie. She had bad news to break to him.

"Chewie... we have to go. Ren is here... he... he set a trap... he... murdered Han." Rey informed, heard the mournful cry of the Wookie, before something else came through and she shook her head. "Ben is... physically fine... but we have to go."

Another roar of confirmation and she started the ship up, made sure to get them off this planet and directed back to the academy. It was time to return to Luke with the information... and he would know what to do with the children to best keep them safe.

* * *

"The First Order. That's what the children have told me they're calling themselves now." Luke informed the group gathered around. "Those soldiers in red that Rey told us about are Sith troopers..."

"So we're dealing with a Sith army?" Tekka placed a hand at his beard and slowly stroked it in thought. "How could they have managed this?"

"They may have an army of Sith, but I believe in my students. They've all proven themselves." Luke responded.

"We won't let you down Master Luke." Tai promised.

"Whatever threat we can withstand it together." Hennix agreed.

"And Solo had a good idea expanding the order to multiple temples." Voe spoke. "Speaking of Solo... where is he? I haven't seen him since you arrived. Was he hurt?"

Chewie groaned quietly, whimpered and then lowered his head. At that nobody said a single word. Ben was on the Falcon and he hadn't left it once since they had gotten back. That was days ago.

"Master Luke... what about Sindian?" Rey asked, wondering what they should do about his death. He had been a traitor... an agent sent by her grandfather to help to turn Ben to the darkside, but... he had also trained as a Jedi. He had been one of them.

"Hmm..." Luke crossed his arms. "I don't know... but I should give the bad news to his mother." 

"Yes." Tekka added. "Perhaps... once she learns of her son's murder at the hands of the First Order she will realize what they truly are and be willing to give us some more information."

"You're all dismissed for now. Once I have more I'll call you back and we will decide a course of action." Luke stated and from there the young Jedi and Tekka left... once only Chewie and Rey were left his face fell and he braced himself against the table. The truth was... Luke was mourning Han's loss too. He had done his best to be strong in front of his students. "Please... excuse me... I need to rest."

As Luke also left it was down to the two of them. Chewie sadly leaned against the wall, fiddled with some lines in the wall... traced them absent mindedly. There was a moment that passed before Chewie glanced at her and let out a little series of roars.

"You want me to check on Ben... but what about you? Are you sure you want to be alone right now?" She asked, only to have Chewie nod.

Pushing herself up from her seat she decided that it was a good idea. Ben had enough time alone... maybe it was time Chewie had a little. After all... he'd known Han longer than any of them. He had to be taking it hard.

Proceeding down the stairs she passed by students gossiping about events... passed places that she had known before... places that brought back memories... and then into the hanger where the Falcon sat.

Stopping at the ramp she took a deep breath, prepared herself and then made her way inside of it. What she saw surprised her... the inside was... not nearly as grimy as she recalled it being. Ben had torn out the old run down seats and replaced them with new, clean ones... had replaced a lot of things.

It must have cost a lot of time and credits. 

From the back there was a crash and a curse. She decided that she should follow that sound... back, far into the back where the engines were located. There she spotted Ben, sleeved rolled back as he worked on replacing some old wires.

"Ben...?" She began very quietly, watched him pause and glance back at her just for a moment before returning to his attention on the wires. "What are you doing?"

Again he only paused to glance back at her, before he continued to work. As if it was an obsession... something that he couldn't stop. Though she did recognize that particular ship part.

"You took parts from The Grimtaash?" Still nothing. He continued to work on the ship. Completely ignoring anything that she said to him. So for now... Rey decided to just be silent. She took a seat on the bunk and then laid out her bag full of parts. Perhaps enough distraction would do him well until he was ready to deal with the loss. "I was hoping you would help me construct my saber."

Finally Ben did stop what he was doing, lowered his hands from it and looked over at her... just... remained as silent as ever... though he did very slowly approach and sit down next to her.

Rey set all the pieces out that she thought she would need... something a bit personal from her time on Jakku... she'd pulled apart that old staff that she had made and intended to construct her saber from that.

While she had never built a saber before she knew what she wanted out of it and she felt that she had a good idea of how to go about it. Selected what she thought she would need to make it happen.

"I was thinking of a duel blade... since I'm better with a staff." Still no answer out of Ben, not as if she could get one, because a high pitched screech echoed from the front of the Falcon and skidding around the corner came BeeDee practically using Kylo as a surf board, balancing precariously on the loth-cat's back as he galloped at high speeds from one side of the Falcon to the other... back and forth. 

This was usually how Kylo burned excess energy off, but it would seem that he had a new companion in his exercise. Ben's eyes widened and it was perhaps the most expression that she had gotten out of him since she had arrived.

It was perhaps what jarred him into moving to some degree, because he did help her a bit, picking up some wires and sorting them out for her. Though perhaps he'd been fiddling with wires all day and this was the sole reason.

"He loved this ship..." Ben muttered under his breath, the first words in days rough and dry from having not spoken in some time... perhaps a mixture of many tears having caused it just the same. "I thought... maybe I could restore it for him... so it doesn't end up in a junkyard."

"I think that sounds like a good idea." Rey responded softly as she could manage, knowing how he must feel. She couldn't afford to be angry with him for things in the past... not right now. "Do you want help?"

He shrugged with one shoulder seemingly unsure of anything at this point, but maybe it would be good to restore this piece of Han to it's former glory... and just maybe it would help Ben piece the broken parts of his heart back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A reference from a ship of another TV series (I wonder if anyone will know it) The First Order has been discovered and Han has been murdered by Ren.


End file.
